Instead of gulping down my morning coffee in a valiant effort at blogging before 3pm each day (yes, my morning coffee can go on for some time, and include some refills…) I’ve decided to blog late at night. This way I have a whole day to experience weird and wonderful things that I can then relate to you in a lovely little blog post. Like this, in fact. I also figured it would then be ready for those of you that might read this over your morning coffee, at a far more sensible hour than I.
So today, this annoying (but cute) little Indonesian girl flirted incessantly until I finally capitulated and agreed to do some kind of audio blog. Now, I’m no fool. I know this is purely about the fact that I’m British. I speak fairly well (and thankfully I don’t sound too stuffy), and I do like talking, but I can tell when I’m used.
Let me give a little back-story. After being chain-assaulted on my multiple trips to the States, I figured something was going on. I’m not the best looking person in the world, and these were mighty cute girls that could’ve had their choice of men. It was around the 5th girl, on my second visit there, that I emerged briefly from under the proverbial duvet to take a breath and suss out what was actually going on. In a brief moment of post-coital clarity it was obvious: they were after my voice! It was confirmed when I said the wrong name into a girl’s ear during foreplay — and she just said ‘Talk to me some more, Sebastian!‘
I could bitch and whine about it, but really… why? Embrace the ability to seduce women simply by opening my mouth! I do like to think it has something about what I say, and not purely how I say it, though. I’ve seduced girls purely with the power of my voice — and I don’t mean bellowing out in a commanding tone: ‘KNEEL DOWN BEFORE ME, WITLESS WENCH’; they fell for my British accent.
I fear I’ve built it up a bit too much now, so… try to cool down a little before clicking ‘play’. And remember, not everyone in England sounds like Vinnie Jones (though part of me wishes I wish I did) or Prince William. There is a space between, which is where I stand.
First, the Sprite Stitch Board where a bunch of awesome sewing nerds (man, there are nerds of every description…) try their best to recreate various classic sprites (flat 2D images) in cross stitch, running stitch… all sorts of stitches! My favourite’s the Zelda map, which someone has obviously spent way too much time on.
Next up we have a horrifyingly awesome school play (I think?) of … Live Action Monkey Island (not to be confused with Super Monkey Ball, gaming newbies!) I wish I was kidding. These kids act their hearts out in a re-make of the 1990 LucasArts classic The Secret of Monkey Island. It runs for 10 minutes, and you probably don’t want to watch past the first minute or two.
Penultimately, we have a cute story of two Danish kids that had their gaming session interrupted by the Danish equivalent of SWAT. You probably turn the volume down a little on any of your modern warfare games, if you live in a built-up area. And you have paranoid neighbours that think the youth of today carry automatic machine guns — and grenades.
And I leave you with (apparently, according to my friend Darryl), the worst commercial ever made (I quite like it, but I am into musical theatre, which is sometimes just as atrocious) — Microsoft Songsmith.