Gorging those geeky urges
I’ve had some kind of gaming entry bouncing around my head for a few days now, but the Penis Monologues, and then the Snowy Wonderland kind of took up all of my blogging. But now the snow’s stopped, I have a little time to write about geeky things.
What is a geek? For those that totally sure of the definition, geekiness is the act of being slightly too excited about something that a ‘normal’ person would find esoteric. Getting excited at your childhood hero playing a cameo in a modern film? Geeky. Organising your DVD collection in alphabetical order? Geeky (and a little bit concerning). Downloading old cartoon theme tunes because you think they’re ‘cool’. Geeky. Playing video games for 12 hours straight. Geeky.
The list goes on, but you get the idea. Basically, anyone that’s in some way interesting is a bit of a geek. People that are totally mediocre are dull. I think we can all agree that being normal and dull is probably a fate worse than spending all of eternity with Beelzebub and his minions. If you don’t agree, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog anyway, because you’ll be thinking: ‘Sweet Moses! This guy’s a communist that likes talking like a cowboy, and torturing his crippled cat.’
So, anyway, I’m a geek. I can fix most electronic devices just by touching them (I was actually nicknamed Jesus at university — not entirely for that reason, but I don’t want to tell that story just yet). I can build computers from parts. I have been known to play video games for 18 hours straight (no, not World of Warcraft — I think my WoW record was 14 hours). I’ve made fan websites as a homage to my favourite games — like Baldur’s Gate. Then don’t even get me started on musical theatre; 200 recordings, and trips to Broadway just to ‘see a few of my favourites’ (like Rent and Wicked).
I even have signed first editions of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels.
This fantastic xkcd comic quite accurately describes about 50% of Geekdom.
You know you're a geek when...
That comic is proof you don’t need to be able to draw to make a successful webcomic, by the way. Anyway, looking at my list of ‘quirks’, it seems I might have left geekiness behind; I might be approaching… Dorkdom. Perhaps things haven’t quite progressed to that malignant stage yet… perhaps there is still time. If I ever become a dork, shoot me. Between the eyes.
This is what a dork looks like. So you can identify them at range. And shoot them.
I’m not sure, but I think that’s a Star Wars cosplayer – the worst breed. At least when I hang out with WoW cosplayers it seems they have some modesty left. There’s something deeply erotic about stripping down a female WoW cosplayer in the bedroom, actually. Peeling back those layers of magical armour, exposing the girl’s soft, pliable skin… it’s like actually performing one of the male WoW geek’s greatest fantasies. And I’ve been there.
You know, that was probably a thought I should have left bouncing around in my head, never to be aired publicly.
While I’m on the topic of ‘gaming geek’, we have gaming chic (see what I did there?): Great Geek Gaming Furniture. There’s some truly beautiful and functional furniture shown in the article; it’s well worth looking at, even if you don’t want to spend £5,000 on a chair. But there are lots of things to add to the ‘when I’m rich and famous’ list, like the Poufman.
The Poufman. I'm not making this shit up.
Penultimately, while I’m not actually a Star Trek geek myself (I enjoy some of the shows as shows, but I’m not so madly besotted that I attend Trekkie conventions looking like a freak), I was shown this fantastic Star Trek Story Generator. If you’ve ever seen an episode of any of the Star Trek franchises, this flow chart will probably be quite hilarious. It’ll probably be funniest if you’ve seen a lot of the original, wobbly-set series.
And finally I leave you with this: (sorry, it has nothing to do with geekiness, but you still want to click ‘play’):[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mlch97EQDA[/youtube]
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Adding Poufman to my birthday wishlist
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February 3rd, 2009 at 4:38 pmWhy have a Poufman when you can have me…
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:48 pmWoW dorks are the hottest kind. Aside from the fact that I am one, I’ve dated two of them. They melt my little heart.
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:56 pmGamer geeks are a woefully under-utilised demographic. Women should realise that gaming geeks have the most love to give, because they’ve never had someone to love before! We try our best because we know it might be our one and only opportunity…
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:58 pmAwwhhh, that’s cute Seb! Ok, maybe you… and a Poufman…?
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:32 pmthat cartoon seemed like something that i would do. for some reason, i seem to avoid the obvious solutions at times.
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:23 pmI could probably love a sci-fi geek because I am one..but a gamer geek? ahh not sure! Only because I’m not a gamer.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:50 pmI think the cross-over between sci-fi geeks and gamers is very large… At least most people that like sci-fi also like fantasy, and almost every person I know that reads fantasy books also enjoy video games!
I have watched most of TNG, and BSG is one of my favourite TV shows! (But not because it’s sci-fi!)
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:53 pmxkcd is by far the most fantastic geek-centric web comic out there. I saw someone walking down the street with a “Stand back, I’m going to try Science” T (http://store.xkcd.com/#StandBackScience) in Edinburgh during the Fringe last year and shouted “XKCD!” across the street. Shared a big geeky smile with a random stranger amidst many a confused bystander.
February 4th, 2009 at 5:43 amHehehe. Yeah, XKCD is probably the one comic that always gets a geeky gigglesnort out of me! I only found out yesterday that the writer is some kind of PHD/Doctor/Professor/whatever — so it’s obviously just the inner thoughts of some semi-twisted genius
Penny Arcade is better for games though!
February 4th, 2009 at 12:33 pmThat lady needs more clothes. *shudders*
February 4th, 2009 at 6:19 pmSo you’ve never cosplayed…?
February 4th, 2009 at 6:28 pmCosplayed?
February 4th, 2009 at 6:49 pmI even linked it! It’s when you dress up… as a character from your favourite TV show or film…!
February 4th, 2009 at 7:01 pmUh no! Just at Halloween!!
February 4th, 2009 at 7:41 pmYou should see what I dressed up as Halloween last year… I’ll try to write a story about it some time!
February 4th, 2009 at 8:03 pmYes you should! I like stories.
February 5th, 2009 at 6:30 amOr should I just publish the photos? I think I can find ones more incriminating than even the ones you’ve got on your blog. Mwahaha
February 5th, 2009 at 7:28 amYou know, I almost put the gay cowboy ones up last night… but I was waiting until a more suitable time, where I can wrap them into some epic tale about WHY I was wearing long, fluffy chaps, and buggering a sheep…
I’m not afraid!
February 5th, 2009 at 12:57 pmI’m glad to see you put dorkdom in its proper place. I got in an argument with my friends once on the difference between dorky, geeky, and nerdy, and a contingent of my friends were convinced that dorky was somehow above geeky, like it wasn’t quite as “bad”. Wrong.
By the way, it’s awesome that you like musicals as well as gaming (I guess perhaps that’s not an uncommon combination of geek interests). I saw Rent and Wicked on Broadway, too! Sweet.
February 5th, 2009 at 4:30 pmI’m pretty sure it’s geeky < dorky < nerdy. But some people put nerd at the bottom, some at the top. Either way, geeky is normally pretty affectionate, the other two don’t tend to be.
I just happen to like musicals because my mother loves them a lot — a bit like I have a massive love for Queen, Fleetwood Mac & Diana Ross (and Bacharach, but that’s just because he’s plain awesome).
We are like two geeks from a geeky pod.
February 5th, 2009 at 4:35 pm