I’ve had some kind of gaming entry bouncing around my head for a few days now, but the Penis Monologues, and then the Snowy Wonderland kind of took up all of my blogging. But now the snow’s stopped, I have a little time to write about geeky things.

What is a geek?  For those that totally sure of the definition, geekiness is the act of being slightly too excited about something that a ‘normal’ person would find esoteric. Getting excited at your childhood hero playing a cameo in a modern film? Geeky. Organising your DVD collection in alphabetical order? Geeky (and a little bit concerning). Downloading old cartoon theme tunes because you think they’re ‘cool’. Geeky. Playing video games for 12 hours straight. Geeky.

The list goes on, but you get the idea. Basically, anyone that’s in some way interesting is a bit of a geek. People that are totally mediocre are dull. I think we can all agree that being normal and dull is probably a fate worse than spending all of eternity with Beelzebub and his minions. If you don’t agree, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog anyway, because you’ll be thinking: ‘Sweet Moses! This guy’s a communist that likes talking like a cowboy, and torturing his crippled cat.’

So, anyway, I’m a geek. I can fix most electronic devices just by touching them (I was actually nicknamed Jesus at university — not entirely for that reason, but I don’t want to tell that story just yet). I can build computers from parts. I have been known to play video games for 18 hours straight (no, not World of Warcraft — I think my WoW record was 14 hours). I’ve made fan websites as a homage to my favourite games — like Baldur’s Gate. Then don’t even get me started on musical theatre; 200 recordings, and trips to Broadway just to ‘see a few of my favourites’ (like Rent and Wicked).

I even have signed first editions of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels.

This fantastic xkcd comic quite accurately describes about 50% of Geekdom.

You know you're a geek when...

You know you're a geek when...

That comic is proof you don’t need to be able to draw to make a successful webcomic, by the way. Anyway, looking at my list of ‘quirks’, it seems I might have left geekiness behind; I might be approaching… Dorkdom. Perhaps things haven’t quite progressed to that malignant stage yet… perhaps there is still time. If I ever become a dork, shoot me. Between the eyes.

This is what a WoW dork looks like, by the way.

This is what a dork looks like. So you can identify them at range. And shoot them.

I’m not sure, but I think that’s a Star Wars cosplayer – the worst breed. At least when I hang out with WoW cosplayers it seems they have some modesty left. There’s something deeply erotic about stripping down a female WoW cosplayer in the bedroom, actually. Peeling back those layers of magical armour, exposing the girl’s soft, pliable skin… it’s like actually performing one of the male WoW geek’s greatest fantasies. And I’ve been there.

You know, that was probably a thought I should have left bouncing around in my head, never to be aired publicly.

While I’m on the topic of ‘gaming geek’, we have gaming chic (see what I did there?): Great Geek Gaming Furniture. There’s some truly beautiful and functional furniture shown in the article; it’s well worth looking at, even if you don’t want to spend £5,000 on a chair. But there are lots of things to add to the ‘when I’m rich and famous’ list, like the Poufman.

The Poufman. I'm not making this shit up.

The Poufman. I'm not making this shit up.

Penultimately, while I’m not actually a Star Trek geek myself (I enjoy some of the shows as shows, but I’m not so madly besotted that I attend Trekkie conventions looking like a freak), I was shown this fantastic Star Trek Story Generator. If you’ve ever seen an episode of any of the Star Trek franchises, this flow chart will probably be quite hilarious. It’ll probably be funniest if you’ve seen a lot of the original, wobbly-set series.

And finally I leave you with this: (sorry, it has nothing to do with geekiness, but you still want to click ‘play’):[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mlch97EQDA[/youtube]

Now is the winter of our discontent!
I belong to a secret society


I am a tall, hairy, British writer who blogs about technology, photography, travel, and whatever else catches my eye.