“Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that low’r'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.”Richard III by William Shakespeare.
One of the few Shakespearean phrases I remember from English literature at school; the others all coming from Romeo and Juliet (I’m a soppy romantic at heart!)
The snow is continuing — we’re up to about 10cm! The most snow we’ve had in 20 years! Those old biddies that are always saying ‘they don’t make winters like they used to!’ have finally been silenced. Probably because they’re dying of hypothermia, but I digress. As always, as soon as any kind of immoderate weather hits the United Kingdom, we collapse and stay at home. An inch of snow, and the buses stop. Two inches, and the trains stop. Three inches, and no one even bothers to go into work. Retailers are hanging signs apologising for the long lines of people trying to pay, because their staff haven’t bothered to come in — and people wonder why us Brits have a bad reputation as workers… union action, strikes… calling in sick/otherwise indisposed if the weather creeps up above 30, or below zero.
[singlepic id=63, w=700](Click it for a larger version)
Anyway, here in Sussex, we have about 3 acres of fields and gardens visible from my bedroom window, so when it’s snows the vast amount of reflected light always wakes me up early (I took to leaving my curtains open so that it’s more likely I wake up before noon than Hell freezing over… although it’s probably pretty nippy down there at the moment.) Anyway, not to be deterred by being woken up at Godless hour of 11am, I sat on my windowsill and tried to catch animals bouncing around in the snow, looking for food. I guess the fantastic hush that swamps the senses during a large snowfall also amplifies even the tiniest of noises; the animals weren’t coming close enough to photograph. So I headed out onto the estate, seeing what I could find…
I found a tiny rabbit, about 500 meters away, but it just wasn’t all that photogenic at that distance.
I ended up taking some pretty pictures of plants covered in snow; plants don’t sprint away at the slightest rustling, which is great for a photographer like me — I’m not the most agile person, being 6’5″ and all (although I can get both legs behind my head — ask to see my party trick one day, if you ever catch me partying…), so sneaking up on rabbits and ravens is pretty taxing. I’m happy with this photo though:
[singlepic id=64]
It’s like one of those photos from a glossy magazine — the cooking section — but that isn’t actually icing sugar. It’s snow!! Perhaps I should do some more macro photography!
I have no idea if these photo-filled entries are actually well received, or if people just scroll past the pictures. Perhaps if I interleave photo posts with penis monologue posts, I should be able to cover most of my bases. So if we call this a ‘photo post’, I can sneak in this cute photo that my sister took of me in the snow.
[singlepic id=61]
Yes, that’s my largest ‘penis extension’ as my father calls it. No, my hair isn’t dyed red and blue.
Sarcastically Bitter
Feb 2, 2009
What beautiful pictures! I like the leaf one. Here in Canada we still have to go to work if it’s blizzarding and -40 C. Schools are usually the only things closed during snow storms and with temps below -25C.
sebastian
Feb 2, 2009
I have a fun story involving 2 Canadians. They were at a bus-stop in England. It was about 5 degrees, and raining. And windy.
Anyway, these were 2 guys that were actually used to sitting out in -30C and watching hockey, but they were complaining about how horrible and cold it was here in England. They were saying they wished we were as warm as Canada!
It’s a different kind of cold here — it’s wet, it’s sticky… it gets right through to your very core and freezes you solid.
And the other thing is, you can expect weather like that… while for us, it’s once every 20 years
andhari
Feb 2, 2009
simply beautiful, i wanna roll around in snow. And you better watch me before I got buried or something..heheh
sebastian
Feb 2, 2009
Come visit!
Or I could roll you in the snow, and turn you into a snowman… er… woman!
Gary
Feb 2, 2009
I used to live in Europe and people thought I was completely daft for wearing flip-flops in the fall. It snowed twice, around 3-4cm, and people flipped out. They were terrified to drive, even though winter tires were mandatory, and nobody dared go outside. Coming from someone who used to have to get up 2 hours early every morning to shovel snow off my driveway, I found this extremely entertaining.
Sarcastically Bitter
Feb 2, 2009
Sebastian- Oh yeah it is a different kind of cold. I think its because it is very humid there. I was in London in late October and it was so windy and so cold. I ended up getting a bad cold. It was funny because it wasn’t as cold as it normally was in Canada when I left, so I wore a little fleece hoody. When I got out of the Gatwick express, I had to put my winter jacket on! Brrr.
sebastian
Feb 2, 2009
I think I have to visit a properly cold country, just so I can appreciate the difference. I remember being at the top of the Grand Canyon, and it was -2 or so… but I’ve never experienced PROPER cold. Most of us Brits tend to go somewhere warm during the winter!
If I make it to Norway this spring, I might get to experience it
Maddie
Feb 2, 2009
Pullin’ out the Shakespeare, I see? “Much Ado About Nothing” and “As You Like It” are my two faves. I think everyone loves Romeo and Juliet though too.
I love the photo of those prickly green leaves with the soft snow on top. It looks so beautiful.
sebastian
Feb 2, 2009
My education was very patchy in places, but thankfully our English teacher loved his Shakespeare… and Tolkien! He actually did his doctorate on Lord of the Rings, which made for some fun lessons about the Elven language!
Maddie
Feb 2, 2009
You studied Elven language in school? What do you Brits use as textbooks? We never studied Tolkien!
sebastian
Feb 2, 2009
Well, slightly alternative schooling, that’s for sure
It was a private school, so no ‘required’ textbooks as such; but we did the standard exams… just took a slightly more circuitous route there!
Maddie
Feb 2, 2009
I went to private school too, but it was a college prep school….and I fondly refer to it as the “seventh circle of hell.” In fact, I just recently attended a high school reunion only to discover why I hated high school so much in the first place.
sebastian
Feb 2, 2009
So are you some disaffected young woman that’s rebelling against the ‘finishing school’ that you were forced to attend?
Did you maliciously burn shirts while ironing? Do you bite while giving fellatio?!
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
I would never burn shirts while ironing…lets remember that clothing is the focus of my studies. I’m not disaffected. It wasn’t really a finishing school you know. There was no home ec class or cooking a souffle 101. There were boys at the school to you know.
No, I haven’t bitten anyone during fellatio lately….unless you’re into that?
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
No… I got raked by some teeth once, while my girlfriend was no doubt blinded with passion… I’m still scarred. Mentally, anyway.
A woman that can cook a fine soufflé is a highly-valued commodity you know…
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Well, I’m sad to report that I can’t really cook anything. The only thing I can successfully make is a disaster…and an occasional small fire
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
There has to be more of a lure than just ‘hot sex’ you know… might want to work on those ‘feminine’ skills a little.
Without sounding too chauvinistic, of course.
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
I’m an excellent laundry folder, dishwasher, and cleaner. I just can’t cook. I guess that’s why I am eternally destined to be single?!
What are YOU excellent at?
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Also, I should add that I can bake….just can’t cook. Yes, there is a difference=)
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
Single, or a sex slave… Tough break.
Hm… I tend to be good at most things — there are just some things I am less experienced at (I’m not a great cook either, but 3 years at university means I CAN cook quite well!)
What am I excellent at… hm… fixing computers. Making wise decisions. Charismatic/funny banter.
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
Pat-a-cake… pat-a-cake, baker man… bake me a cake… no, no… bake me a pie to delight my eye, and I will sigh if the crust be high…
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Um, I’m not a sex slave. You must have me confused with someone else.
I’m wonderful at everything I do except cooking. That happens to be a fact. I know everything too. Go google the word “omniscient” you will see my photo=)
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Oh, and I’m incredibly modest as well
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
Are you the BEST modest person the WORLD?
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Oh my god! Where did you find that picture of me? That’s what happens to me after night fall. Except my name is not Ziltoid…I prefer the alias Skeletor
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
*Swinging around his mighty, male saber* I … have… the… power!
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
My woman sabers are bigger than your male one.
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
*scratches head* Your… um… stiletto heels? They’re not bigger, unless you have incredibly slutty high-heels…
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
no. i do have incredibly slutty heels, but i was referring to my breasts….*ahem*
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
One would hope you are not quite at the age where you can swing them around with the same kind of dexterity and agility that I can swing my saber.
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
No, I can’t really swing them around. Hopefully they won’t be this large for too long. I’m looking into reduction. Every man I know tells me that its a sin though.
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
I’m not overly picky… I think it’s a lot more important that a girl likes her own body, rather than trying to please some man. Any man is kidding himself if he says a few cup sizes make or break the attractiveness of a woman.
Flat chested, heaving bosoms… it’s all good!
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
I think you may be the first man who has ever admitted that to me. I was a pretty damn late bloomer, so my ex jokes that he never really got the best of me. Nice, huh?
Size on a man however….Well, I suppose it’s not really how big it is, but how you use it! Right? I’m not very picky, because I would rather have a guy I could have a good time with and could make me laugh, but I have friends who say that size can make or break their relationships.
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
(Sorry, trying to finish this Russian monologue…!)
Sounds like a charmer to me… I can’t imagine why he’d now be ex…
I assume you mean size, as in the ability to reach pickle jars, and those hard-to-reach spiderwebs, right?
If you’re talking something else entirely… I think it’s incredibly important, if the relationship is predominantly about sex; but a lasting relationship can never be ABOUT sex… but perhaps good sex can get you to the stage where you can start looking at other things, though
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
I don’t think that sex is ever the start of a good relationship. I think size matters, but only to an extent. A relationship isn’t all about sex…a good relationship that is. I’m looking forward to the Russian monologue!!! (I’m one quarter Russian too! Yay!) Can you perhaps do an American Penis Monologue…with a Minnesooota accent?
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
I could do soooo many American monologues. I had a great idea for an American soldier, which could be pretty fun. As long as I don’t scare off any of my very-proud American readers/listeners…! Then there’s the valley high girl which I want to do, just for fun. I will most likely do a ‘gag reel’ (gotta love the name) of a few compiled accents that ‘didn’t quite make the cut’…
I think sex is incredibly important to forming a relationship — it is what pulls most people together, after all (procreation in general, sex in specific). But after a brief honeymoon, there certainly has to be a spark… or I’m outa there
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Can you do a monologue of a little Iowa girl who lives in a corn field and misses city life terribly? I think it could be interesting! The valley girl is overdone and too easy. You need a better challenge.
I don’t think that sex should form a relationship. It should start out with personality first….at least that’s how I think it should work out in my little world of fucked up ventures of love.
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
Well, any number of things can lure you into someone else’s bedroom… laughter, good looks, alcohol… Perhaps good sex would keep you there the morning after, so you can at least get to know each other…!
Let’s try to keep the monologues fairly stereotypical…!
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Fine, stereotype away. How ’bout a Brooklyn accent???? Yes! Yes!=)
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
I can do an OK Brooklyn accent…
I thought about doing a Mafioso one actually…
Maddie
Feb 3, 2009
Gotta love Italian crime!!! That should be a good one!
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
Ze Russian is up.
K
Feb 3, 2009
I wanna play in the snow
sebastian
Feb 3, 2009
You better hurry up then; the sun is out now… I don’t know how long the snow will last!
K
Feb 3, 2009
Poor snow