I’m sitting here, sipping my tumbler glass full of whiskey — straight, single malt of course — with my feet up on my desk. The laptop is actually in between my legs, which is a rather interesting angle to type from, but it works. If only I had a roaring log fire, the image would be complete; unfortunately I have to make-do with a blow-heater that sounds like its on its last legs, trying to heat up my own little corner of the Antarctic.

Sometimes, when I wake up, my legs are so cold that I swing out of bed and fall to the floor because my legs have decided not to do their primary function: stand. Living in a old house really does suck sometimes.

I just had a few things to say, which didn’t really warrant an entire blogging, so I thought I’d whack them in here before I go to bed. First, a lovely little story, written by my younger sister. We’re all so very proud of her; she’s come such a long way since the accident:

I'm just kidding, don't hate my, sister.

I'm just kidding, don't hate me, sister.

You know, that picture actually reminds me of another Father Ted sketch! For various reasons, Father Ted ends up writing an entry for the Eurovision Song Contest (only click it if you’re REALLY interested, but be careful… it’s a dark and slippery slope back out), only at the last moment he has to re-write the song because he’s actually stolen another song. This results in… well, check it out:


Sorry, anything to make you watch something from Father Ted.

Other than that, I just wanted to do a little ‘wrap up’ for The Penis Monologues, which you can listen to if you missed them the first time around (it’s also quite fun to hear my accent change between each!):

  • #1, The Cowboy:
  • #2, The Scottish:
  • #3, The Irish Priest:
  • #4, The Russian:
  • #5, The Australian: 

(If you can’t see the audio players, you’ll have to visit my blog)

It’s been a lot of fun trying my hand at accents that I’ve never really used in conversation before — it’s amazing just how hard it is trying to make a single word sound authentic. The vowel and consonant sounds change SO MUCH between each language, it’s quite amazing. It’s been quite a thrill trying to make them appear almost real and try to give a little bit of a backdrop for each stereotype at the same time: they are almost entirely truthful, with only a  few bits stretched to make them more interesting.

I noticed that no one from any of the 4 countries (or a real life cowboy!) have commented on my accents, so I might never know if I completely butchered them. I’ll just assume I did a fairly good job of them — a man can hope, right? If you want to hear something I can do rather well — speaking proper English — go and check out some of the other podcasts.

Next up is probably some kind of… review. Either of a video game, or maybe some cameras. It’ll be in proper British-English, which is a relief to most, I think. Ah, and I’m working on some kind of ‘weekly feature’ for the blog, which probably won’t interest a lot of you, but I think it’s about time that I wrote about something with an element of authority — I’m simply sitting on a wealth of knowledge which I feel I should share!

Playing online games in Serbia is serious business; it can get you killed!
Play it again, Sam


I am a tall, hairy, British writer who blogs about technology, photography, travel, and whatever else catches my eye.