As the long arm of my wall clock continued its unstoppable crawl towards 12 and the small hand approached 5, I realised I was very hungry indeed. Being the the hedonistic frivolous guy that I am, I snuck downstairs for a snack.
A quick reconnaissance of the kitchen showed stocks of all the vital snack foods to be in good order. Checking the fridge I found a bowl of whipped cream left-over from some tea party at the weekend. Thinking it would be awful to let fresh cream go unenjoyed, I continued my search for something to put the cream on.
And then, out of nowhere, it hit me like a lightning bolt: Frosties. EVERYTHING goes well with Frosties, but its best bowl partner, by far and without a shadow of doubt, is cream.
I begun by pouring the Frosties themselves liberally into a bowl. This was the easy bit.
It probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but this is a snack I’ve had on many an occasion, so I thought I’d try to ‘sass’ it up with some icing sugar.
Still so far, so good. Ish. That’s when things took a tumultuous, troublesome turn. My lens has a 1 meter minimum focus. I can’t quite extend my arm a meter, and still look through the viewfinder. Shit; what a quandary. How was I meant to take the proverbial ‘money shot’?! After some clever use of a timer and an act of contortion that I don’t feel comfortable telling you about, I got this:
I guess I shouldn’t give up the day job… or at least I should find someone to pour the milk for me. It tasted damn good at least! If you haven’t had cream on Frosties (with ice cold milk!), I heartily (just don’t think of your arteries) recommend it.
For those guys that are interested in the ‘aftermath’, or the ‘often quick fade to black’ in porno; for those of you that like to see things through to the grim, bitter ending, I have one last photo:
pinkjellybaby
Mar 3, 2009
eww oh.. what did you do to those poor frosties?!
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
Ahhh, A PURIST!
BURN THE HERETIC!
Sarcastically Bitter
Mar 3, 2009
Ugh. That looks pretty nasty. Chunky.
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
That was before it went in, by the way. If there’s any confusion.
pinkjellybaby
Mar 3, 2009
but what in the hell is that shite on top of it? It looks like hummus!
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
It’s a very yellow light in the kitchen, and some harsh shadows.
It’s whipped double cream. You KNOW it’s one of the best things on the planet, so stop being all persnickety!
Sarcastically Bitter
Mar 3, 2009
It looks a little like vanilla ice cream.
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
But it’s soft, and warm and smooth and…
Look, if you like Frosties, and you like cream… This is probably the single best combination available to you as a cereal connoisseur. Trust me, I’ve tried almost every other variation…
Sarcastically Bitter
Mar 3, 2009
I don’t know if I would put cream on my cereal.
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
Why would I lie about such a thing?
If you want it to be slightly less … creamy… you could put sliced strawberries on too, and a little pouring cream — almost as good, and slightly lighter.
Sarcastically Bitter
Mar 3, 2009
I’ll stick to leaving whipped cream for waffles, french toast, ice cream, etc.
pinkjellybaby
Mar 3, 2009
I don’t like cream. And quite rightly so. Look at it. Yucky.
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
My glorious visions of a new, cream-filled world are slowly slipping away from me… damn you women… damn you!
Jossie Posie
Mar 3, 2009
Cream is delightful on anything.
sebastian
Mar 3, 2009
Finally, a believer. My time here, extolling the virtues of cream, has not been wasted.
Jo
Mar 3, 2009
My God! All of these unbelievers! It can only be because they have not tasted English cream, which is very different from spray cream. This cream started off runny and was whipped up by hand. If you kept on whipping it it would become butter.That is how creamy it is, and it IS delicious on cereal!
andhari
Mar 4, 2009
That pretty much looks good.
What will you do to frosted flakes and cocoa puffs?
sebastian
Mar 4, 2009
Are you suggesting mixing Frosties and Coco Puffs…?