Geeks make good lovers
After last week’s entry on ‘how to get, and keep, a geeky guy‘, an important question popped up in a comment: Why would I want a geek?!
Now, being a thoroughbred geek myself, I figured it was in my own best interest to tell you why you should get yourself a brand new and shiny geek boyfriend. Of course, I can’t marry more than one girl at a time (unless I move to Utah and become a Mormon), so what I’m really doing here is bigging up ALL of my geeky brethren and sistren (which is phrase used almost exclusively by feminist writers, incidentally — and now me).
This post, unlike the previous one, is about geeks of ALL varieties — boys and girls, computery or otherwise. If you’re not sure what a geek is (or a dork, or — ew — a nerd), I define them in another post. In essence though, a geek is someone that is more interested in the world than themselves.
With that out of the way, this is why geeks make the best boyfriends, girlfriends and — believe it or not — lovers too. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. It goes against everything that your ‘cool’ friends and the media has told you, but it’s true. Read on, and I’ll prove it.
Why geeks make great partners
I will start with the one trait above all others that makes geeks great partners: they are more interested in you than themself. Geeks are inherently less interested in their own wellbeing (normally so much so that they forget to eat, or shower), and far more interested in other things — like pleasing you, or making a realistic lightsaber. While a macho man, or a socialite woman might be more interested in how you affect their appearance, a geek is just happy to have a partner. They don’t care how you look, or even how you look together — they are happy just being together.
A hugely beneficial side-effect of course is that they are also unlikely to ‘go out on the pull’. In fact, they don’t even like leaving their house (or wherever they hang out when they are ‘geeking’). Geeks don’t tend to like large, noisy, social gatheringss… except for conventions of course! Talking of conventions, you’re happy to twist your hair into two Danish pastries and doll yourself up to look like Princess Leia, right? Rachel did it for Ross (who is every geek’s hero…) In general though, a geek is happy with what they’ve got — and they’ve got you.
We’re creative, and funny too!
Being interested in how things work, and less interested in people, puts geeks in a unique position. Geeks are often not entirely clued up on what’s socially acceptable, by virtue of not being very ‘out there’, and as a result our humour can be… a little off-beat. Sarcastic sometimes, and scathing, or even a little racist — but funny! It’s not unusual for a geek to listen to Billy Connolly, Bill Hicks or other angry comedians while they work; comedy that nodoubt rubs off on them. It’s this ‘outside the box’ mentality that makes us creative too! It’s not unheard of for a geek to spend days and days to get something just so — and that something might be a romantic surprise for you; or it could be a pulley system that feeds the cat from his computer chair. Geeks are most likely to create a special, romantic photo screensaver for you, or track down a stuffed toy from your favourite cartoon as a child. Geeks rarely take the easy way out if there’s an interesting solution to the task.
Geeks are romantic
Romance is all about being creative and creating a lovely relationship. The moment that you stop creating that relationship, it tumbles away — and a geek knows that all too well! A geek is probably quite aware that you’re not with them for their good looks, or their firm body. As a result, they tend to be very romantic, and very, very sappy. Now, our idea of romance might be different from yours, but that’s not a bad thing! A geek might make you a pretty, pink website declaring to the world their undying love for you; is that really worse than a bunch of flowers that’ll die in a few days? You can always expect weird and wacky tokens of affection from a geek lover.
We might still buy you chocolates however; but that’s OK, you don’t mind sharing, right?
Geeks are intelligent!
If you’re one of the few people that find intelligence unattractive, what’re you doing reading this blog? Shoo! Most people admire, and find security in intelligence. As I just mentioned, keeping things fresh is vital for a relationship, and intelligence can help a lot with that! An intelligent partner can broaden your horizons; a geek can introduce you to ideas, TV shows or places that you’ve never seen or heard of.
Geeks are also great at helping you sort out problems, either mental or physical. Being not wholly ‘of this world’, geeks can often apply quite objective logic to a problem that you might be struggling to analyse rationally. Geeks are also good at sorting out your technical problems! In fact, fixing a girl’s computer is by far the most common (and best!) ‘intro’ that a geek guy has to meeting a possible girlfriend. The number of computers I fixed at university…
Don’t forget, geeks are the reason cures for diseases have been found, and the reason you have a television to watch; and video games to play! Slowly but surely, geeks are inventing a world that enables everyone to have more fun, or to live a better standard of living! Eventually, the world will be at a stage where we can emerge from the safety of our bedroom cocoons, spread our wings and become fluttering, social butterflies. The kings of a world we’ve crafted.
But until then… let me tell you more good things about geeks!
We’re loyal and low-maintenance
As I touched on in the previous article, geeks are shockingly easy to get along with. We don’t require hand-holding, nor acts of affection to bolster our egos. We will always take your love at face value! To be honest, we are too busy trying to hack some kind of program together, and finish our costume for the Super Hero Convention to worry about if you really love us or not. It’s that same kind of plain, easy-going self-assurance that makes us incredibly loyal. We know we’re onto a good thing, so why ruin it? It’s not like we go out a lot anyway, so we’re unlikely to bump into possible competition… so don’t worry! Focus on making your relationship fun and love-filled — don’t spend time worrying about our fidelity or love for you!
Now what you’ve all been waiting for — why geeks make the best lovers
Except for possibly Casanova, you probably won’t find a better lover than a geek. We’re affectionate, responsive and creative. Remember what I said earlier? Geeks are intelligent and inquisitive; we like poking around until we work out what makes something tick. Then, we like to fiddle around and work out how we can make it tick louder and faster. Later, after the prodding, we sit and cogitate; we analyse. How can we make things even better? How can we keep it ticking healthily for years to come? Maybe if I do it like this? Or perhaps change the angle a bit?
You probably guessed that I was giving you a euphemistic description of a geek in the sack. In fact, I just gave you a breakdown of what goes through my mind when I’m having sex. Sex is, in fact, just like taking a computer apart, wondering what each part does, and then putting it back together again in the hope that it still works — or even works a bit better!
I’m just kidding. Sex is nothing like taking a computer apart. Watching porn is a little closer, but…
Anyway, breaking down my euphemism, you get these two glorious facts about geeks, when they get it on:
- Geeks try hard. Geeks know that they are probably not some kind of Adonis/Venus in the body department. They therefore know that they have to make the most of what they’ve got; think of the stories you’ve heard about fat girls being great in bed — it’s the same thing with geeks. Unfortunately, that’s not where the similarities end — our fitness level is also not that great… but that’ll improve with more sex!
- We’re caring. We come last. Your pleasure is more important than ours. Due to our often marginal amounts of self-esteem we’re almost entirely focused on making sure you have a good time. That creative mind also gets a good work-out when we’re not having sex; we’re trying to think of new and exciting things to try in the bedroom (or elsewhere) later on! Sex with a geek is rarely boring.
Finally, if you’re happy with your geek, remember: there are lots more available!
And you can give them to your friends! Geeks are still, sadly, a relatively un-tapped resource. I expect that to change rather rapidly when awareness grows of just how awesome geeks are. But until then, if you’re happy with your geek, why not set one of your friends up with another geek? Geeks don’t go out a lot; think about it! Invite a friend around to watch a film and get your geek to do the same! Not only will your friend be happy, but the new, loved-up geek will be appreciative. You’ve just scored yourself a second geek to help you if something needs fixing!
Thinking about it, someone needs to run a geek/non-geek match-up service…
All that remains to be said is how to find a geek. I’m working on that one, but it turns out it’s quite hard to nail down the best place to find geeks… So hard in fact that all I have so far is ‘their bedroom’. I also want to do a piece on ‘how to get that geeky girl’; a relatively new and wondrful breed of girl, and swelling in numbers quickly! I need a little more experience in that department myself though, so I need to talk to some geeky girls first!
Related posts:
I don’t want to be the first to comment again here…so just pretend I’m someone else…
That’s what you think of during sex? Hmmm. I think it’d be better if you were thinking “ohmygodohmygodohmygod” but hey!
Also, I think the best way to find geeky guys (that I’ve found) is on the internet. In general it’s a much nicer way to meet people anyway..
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 amExcellent article!
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:09 am“Being not wholly ‘of this world’…….” Very funny. I want a Geek now.
Ah yes I see the points. I bet no geeks would want me though! haha
March 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 amI wonder what is the connection between these love-your-geek posts and your recent sex-drive awakening…
Very subtle HINT! Good work though
March 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 amNo connection at all, Alexia, honest! Sex is certainly NOT on my mind; hoping that some cute little blonde realises I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread is NOT on my mind.
Totally.
Andhari, as long as you’re warm, and caring (deep down, right?), a geek would like you! If you’re just a wild party-junkie rap star, then maybe not…
It’s OK Pink, I am there when I have sex. Though sometimes, as I don’t get enough sex, I do have to think about Margaret Thatcher occasionally. But I hope to rectify that problem soon… with more sex.
March 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pmgeeks have a sense of humor! haha about sex is like fixing computers!! (wtf)
i used to date a geek and he would say “dot dot dot”
you know, like the ellipses!
…
i love bill hicks!
March 23rd, 2009 at 1:36 pmha, you are just trying to get a girl through blogging huh?
great way to mask that with an allover general “geek” guide!
Hehe, I’ve said ‘dot dot dot’ before… and typed it… But I’ve never gone as far to say ‘LOL’ out loud; shoot me if I ever do that.
Yes, I could rename the guide ‘Why Seb is a great lover’, but it might not have such universal appeal then
March 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 pmUmmm, so yeah, I dressed as Princess Leia for Halloween this year, sadly I was geek less as I had broken up with the ex in July. So there was no nerd in my life to appreciate it. However, every male geek friend I have ever had came out of the woodwork to comment about it and how awesome it was. I would love it for a guy to dress up as Han for me, or eff that even Chewie, I totally have a soft spot for that furball.
Now onto a different subject…great post. I can’t say I agree with every point but overall I do. To me intelligence is quite possibly the sexiest thing ever. Nothing gets me more excited than a guy with brains. The rest is truly secondary in my book, so sexing it up with a geek is always the height of hotness.
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:51 pmYou can’t just tell us you were dressed as Princess Leia without accompanying photos, Jossie. Bad girl! Come back with some links!
It sounds like you did a ‘Leia Rebound’ then — an act that was guaranteed to give you some attention from OTHER geeks, after breaking up from your previous one… genius!
Do you like it when a geek whispers sweet, geometric and arithmetic nothings in your ear before and after sex then?
(I could be your Chewie…)
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:55 pmSeb you should know all it takes to find the pics are a bit of digging on my blog…but since it seems like you are in lazy mode this lovely day: http://cloudbug57.blogspot.com/2008/11/leia-peacocks-and-tacos-oh-my.html
I never thought of it as a Leia Rebound but you know, you may have a point
Don’t offer something like that if you don’t plan on making good.
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:13 pmAnd for everyone else that is even lazier than ME (you cheeky Cuban!), here’s a link to the goodies.
That’s rather good, Jossie. But it needs more gold shiny bits (see Jennifer Aniston for reference).
Unless Leia is, for some reason, your idol and role model… I am sure it was a rebound
I’ve been growing my leg and back hair for ages now. Just tell me to do the rest and I’ll be your Chewie, no problem.
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:19 pmLol, gold shiny bits huh? I don’t think I am that confident to rock that to a party, maybe in the bedroom for the right dork.
Leia is in fact one of my role models, has been since I was 5, what can I say? I am a true dork.
You as Chewie would definitely be a sight to see, I am going to have to consider it.
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:26 pmif you would come fix my monitor I would dress up as anything you wanted…
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:02 pmScore! But aren’t you like… all the way over there?
But perhaps, if I help you fix your monitor from here, you could send me photos…
Hmmmm.
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:23 pmomg, if you get it fixed so that I don’t have to re-write my term paper photos you will have
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:28 pmHa…it the timing of this amuses me greatly.
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:29 pmHowever, having read this this morning…it prompted a lot of talk with the geeky friends at college…
xxx
Did they agree? Or did they just blush and run a mile?
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm“If you’re one of the few people that find intelligence unattractive, what’re you doing reading this blog? Shoo! Most people admire, and find security in intelligence.”
You haven’t actually ever met most people, have you?
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:34 pmNo, just the ones that stray too close to my bedroom.
But also… perhaps you should broaden your horizons a little too
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 pmEr, did you have any particular avenue of broadening in mind?
There’s no shortage of people with that attitude round here. But I think you’re a bit optimistic to ascribe it to most people in general.
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:55 pmLet’s say that the people I have in mind are those that are likely to be reading this article — not the people… out there. You know… outside… in clubs… ew!
No, I didn’t have anything in mind… if I did, I’d have a girlfriend
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:01 pmAh, so by ‘most people’, you really meant ‘most people whose existence I care to acknowledge’.
The obvious subtext was lost on me, sorry
.
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:05 pmloved the post, Seb!!
I actually dated a geek, god I hate saying that sounds so mean. I did feel more loved, safer, and more myself with him. Ironically he broke up with me. Sad, i know:( Today he is a plastic surgeon and married to Barbie and lives in key west or somewhere…hilarious:)
If you know any ‘geek’s in Boston, hit my up!
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:10 pmthanks for the dollhouse education!!!
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:12 pmI’m afraid my love, the main person i was talking to, when i said that geeks happen to be my type, mainly because they know a lot ‘Yeah, outside of the bedroom’ was his responce!
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 pmShame on you Seb!
He is a tad of a geek himself…he then went on to tell me how he is having troubles at present in that department…he’s lasting too long :/
xxx
Perhaps Casanova was a geek then…! It would make a lot of sense…
Sorry to hear that, Polka… Sounds like he was more of an achiever than a real geek though
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 pmDaniel Cassidy, you are funny. You remind me of myself when I was studying philosophy. I had to find an argument, any argument with what someone had said! I could not just let them say anything without asking,
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm‘How do you know that’? ‘What makes you say that?’ I must have been an awful bore….
Seb i think you would be interested in this article on why Geeks are fitter than the average person to! Ignore the bit about Mental instability and also ignore the bit about it being a poor study because its nice to have your ego flattered.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19926746.400
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:23 pmThat’s a really interesting article, Zakk! Thanks for the link. One problem though: they’re comparing it to American averages… I believe most gamers are thinner than the average American citizen.
The substance abuse line was obviously aimed at depressed raid leaders like myself…
March 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 pmYah… I did actually notice that whole sense-of-humor thing
March 24th, 2009 at 5:13 amThis is torture, and you can go ahead and take that as a compliment…
But seriously, very well-written, funny, insightful – good job!!!
Thanks! More importantly, do you feel like YOU fit into the classifications laid out here of ‘a geeky lover’?
March 24th, 2009 at 11:02 amReason a geek is not good to date:
They break dates with you because of a WoW Guild thing-or-another. WTF.
March 24th, 2009 at 5:48 pmWell that’s just LAME…
The continued success of my guild is partly because we keep a very tight, organised schedule. People break real life enough to be online for raids, 4-5 times a week… you don’t want to break it even more by throwing in other events out of the blue!
Alternatively, he was just pretending he had to do some WoW-related thing to get out of the date… But I’m sure that wasn’t the case, Kathleen.
March 24th, 2009 at 5:51 pmHmmm…
March 24th, 2009 at 6:23 pmI really don’t know.
I’ve never actually been in a relationship (I’m sure we’ve been over this before), so I can’t really say how I’d be in one. I have a feeling I am a little too self-absorbed to be a true geek. Analytical, yes… but more in terms of things like books, movies, psychology… other peoples’ relationships… this would be why my friends still come to me for advice in this area even though they know there’s no way I have ever been in their situation.
Geeks ARE very romantic. Thats another reason I want a geek.
March 24th, 2009 at 7:49 pm[...] about having been single for forever, reading a lot of Jane Austen, and this [...]
March 24th, 2009 at 10:25 pmYes–how to get a geeky girl! I’ll be interested to see how that turns out. Sadly, I can’t help you on your research much since no one has actually won me yet; anything I could say would be entirely theoretical. But good luck on it.
March 25th, 2009 at 6:58 pmI’m sure you could tell me your ideal, theoretical list of ‘Things I want in a boyfriend’… Go!
March 25th, 2009 at 7:02 pmThere was a great line in revenge of the nerds. The guy said the difference between geeks and jocks is all jocks think about is sports and sex. Geeks don’t think about sports.
March 28th, 2009 at 9:50 pmThat’s remarkably astute.
But we do think about other things too…
Like continuity errors in Star Trek.
March 29th, 2009 at 12:06 amI’m not sure which of the things that I’ve decided I’m looking for in a boyfriend are a function of me being a geek as opposed to me being a girl or just being me. I mean, I want a boy who is sweet and smart and makes me laugh, but I think that’s a very general girl desire. I want a boy who likes dogs, but that’s more of a dog lover thing than any geeky girl thing. “How to get that geeky girl” is probably mostly just some sort of cross between how to get a girl in general and how to get a geeky guy. Looking down your list of suggestions of how to land a geeky guy, here’s how I think geeky girls compare (granted, I can’t speak for all of us, but I can give my opinion):
“So, you want to land yourself a geek? Isn’t that easy? They’re all sex-mad, unloved dweebs… This is false!” – I think many of the same things hold true for geeky girls. We (at least most of us) are smart and we like smart guys. Assuming we’re trying to tell non-geeks how to get a geeky girl, I might also add that, like most girls, we like guys who are confident and socially comfortable–guys who have social lives. As a geeky girl, I would ideally like a boyfriend to improve my social life. But maybe that’s just me.
“You need to be a good listener” – This kind of holds true for girls in general. Girls like good listeners, especially when they know how to offer the right kind of support.
“Be direct, and assertive” – Here I’m inclined to say the same holds true–the geeky girl will probably not assert herself (heaven knows I never have). In truth, though, I don’t actually know how a guy would have to approach me to win me over. Still waiting to find that out.
“The sex drive” – I don’t think this is any more an issue for a geeky girl than for your average, normal girl. I guess I wouldn’t know, though.
“But don’t stifle our geekiness!” – Here I would say that it’s not enough just to avoid stifling our geekiness. I would say “Embrace our geekiness”. I know some of my geeky interests are not for everyone (e.g., Quenya). But there are some things that I believe the general public considers geeky just because they have not been properly introduced to them. If you (I don’t mean you, you–you’re a geek–I mean an impersonal you who is a potential non-geek boyfriend) were to say that all movies and TV shows with spaceships are silly, I would make you watch Firefly, and if after that you still didn’t respect spaceships, it’s over. Over. I’m not saying you have to be a geek, but there certain geeky things that I think even non-geeks should be able to appreciate (e.g. Firefly, BSG). Keep an open mind, and be willing to reach a middle ground. It’s not enough for a guy to say, “Aw, it’s so cute how you’re so obsessed with all those silly things.” If you don’t respect my interests, you don’t respect my opinions. And we know a guy who doesn’t respect a girl’s opinions is never going to win her over, no matter how cute he is. Acceptable comments: “BG2 looks like it would be a lot of fun if, I had the time.” “The Lord of the Rings movies are beautifully realized adaptations, and great films.” I don’t know if this is actually a difference from how geeky guys feel towards girlfriends or if you were just being more forgiving than I am when you said simply “don’t stifle our geekiness”. But maybe my stricter “embrace our geekiness” is tied into a girl’s nature to expect a guy to change, and also to expect a guy to talk about (and convince us he likes talking about) whatever we’re interested in.
All I’ll add is that, where most girls might expect their boyfriends to watch The Notebook and other chick flicks with them, I would expect my boyfriend to watch LotR, Star Wars, and The Dark Knight with me. That’s a good trade-off, isn’t it?
March 31st, 2009 at 3:30 amWow, that turned out to be a really long response. Sorry.
March 31st, 2009 at 3:31 amDon’t apologise… it’s insightful. My only REALLY geeky real life friend is currently over in Michigan, so it’s not very easy to pick her brains — thought I should try… I keep putting that off.
I don’t think a geeky guy would ever expect a straight (i.e. normal) girl to embrace the geek. Though, having said that, most of my geeky guy friends who have managed to get girlfriends (all 3 of them!!) have slowly turned their girlfriends into geeks. I don’t think it’s an active thing though — the girls just slowly grow to appreciate the finer things in life, I guess!
A geek girl expecting a normal guy to ‘take part’ definitely sounds about right, from my experience with girls in general.
You should probably put some of your theory into practice though — things might turn out completely different to how you anticipated…! I hope you keep an open mind and heart when it comes to possible suitors!
March 31st, 2009 at 6:59 pmI used to think that I was a cool geek until I met my bf. He’s the typical geek… private school educated, went to the top engineering uni in europe, only ever one major gf etc etc… typical geek!
The first time we spoke, he told me that he’s an engineer and works for the MOD and he went up 100 times in my eyes. I was so intrigued!!
He’s understanding, supported and always tell me that life is simple… He knows how to communicate and he’s interesting and fun!! Who says a geek can’t be cool… He read online how to put down floorboards and then he did my entire room…. cocktails… he read about making them them and he and his friend started ran a bar for 6 months and he was one of the bar men making those fancy cocktails… LOL!
I love my geek!
April 6th, 2009 at 7:52 amWow, an uber geek!
Sounds like one you should definitely try to keep hold of, by any means possible
Now, to find a girl that appreciates my ubergeekness…
April 6th, 2009 at 11:02 amSeb!!! I give you ten out of ten for all your points – but being one of those “normal” people that goes to “clubs and pubs” (oh I think I just sinned!) I have to say that the thing that puts me off about dating a geek that is glued to his computer is you become a computer widdow? I like to go out and explore things and go to galleries etc…… would geeks venture out to do things everyday or would I end up in a fight over the computer…… also – no showers….. ok theirs limits!! Do you leave your house? I live 10 minutes from you and have seen you maybe twice in 2 years and one of them was at your house??!!! I recall your father telling me that it had not worked out with an ex as you were “too lazy” to go and see her?!?! I do however think you have some valid points and I laughed all the way through this……..Maybe I will organise all of my single girls to come over to yours for a DVD night and you can try your theories on them…… I have lots! ………………..i think this is the point where you shoot me for saying half of that lol (yes I did just write lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
April 7th, 2009 at 10:25 amI think the only bit I’m upset about is what my dad said… sheesh!
That’s not true, and I think we’ll have to have a few words about it… talking behind my back… hmpf.
I leave the house occasionally; not often. Don’t forget, I did university for 3 years — I was rarely in the house for more than half an hour (well, other than when I was having wild sex with my girlfriend at the time). It just depends on the situation!
I am sure a geek would go exploring with you to museums or other COOL things. Don’t expect a geek to want to explore pubs and clubs though!
April 7th, 2009 at 10:34 amHAHAHAHA oh and LOL!!!!
April 7th, 2009 at 4:51 pmSuch a cute description. Seems like there is no reason not to have a geek of your very own. Every home should have one.
June 30th, 2009 at 3:14 pmDamn straight!
And every home will have one, to be honest. Almost every kid growing up today will turn into a geek — of course, when everyone’s a geek, the definition will change and ‘geek’ will become ‘normal’…
Hail the freedom of information revolution, baby!
June 30th, 2009 at 3:17 pm