Upon regaining consciousness, a few specific thoughts always rush hastily along my neurons and across synapses:
‘Did I forget to use protection?’
‘She told me she was on the pill!”
and old faithful: ‘The guide said two bricks was enough…’
… and then, with clarity returning, and the nagging feeling that I’m not, and never have been a father, I realise it’s just a Jelly Baby. It’s just a Jelly baby trying, in vain, to be heard as it leaves my stomach on its final journey towards the indeterminate fate of my small intestine.
Yesterday, after my Pink Jellybaby photo, I was inspired and encouraged by some wonderful artists on Etsy to do some more Jelly Baby photos — photos that might work on postcards, or greeting cards, or … I don’t know — perhaps there are Jelly Baby fetishists out there! Fetishists that, until now, haven’t been able to find a suitable ‘fix’. Don’t mock me, don’t hate me; I’m just filling a gaping chasm in the Soft Candy Macro Photography market!!
Without further ado, a couple of romantic Jelly Baby photos!
And then, as a proof of concept, I tried adding a caption to the third image, just so you get the idea of the (possible) comic value:
I am interested in your opinions — do you like them? Are they obnoxious, cute, romantic? Would you buy one to give to a loved one, or as some kind of … humourous greeting card?
On the off-chance that you are suddenly struck with the urge to buy 1000 (or more) for distribution purposes, please contact me, and I’m sure we can come to an arrangement — an arrangement that’s good for me, you, and the Jelly Babies I am holding hostage downstairs, under a bright studio light, melting. Excruciatingly slowly, but surely, melting.
Think of the children. Buy in bulk today!