I should probably call it ‘The Homoerotica That Never Quite Got There’ or ‘What IS That Object In His Pocket?’ but no, let’s call it Anthony & Gabriel: Ant & Gabe. Finished at last! I sat down and wrote the last 500 words in just a few minutes. It came fast, quickly, smoothly. Brutally.
I thought killing a character would be harder.
I made a few changes to the beginning of the story, though they were just little, niggling issues that I kept stumbling on when I re-read it. Feel free to leap in at the last 2 pages, though I don’t promise complete resolution. I tried my best! Without going completely supernatural and fantastic, there were only so many options available to me. I didn’t want to bring God into my first ever short story, though one person that’s already read it thought that it was going to be religious purely because of Gabriel’s inclusion. OK, so it might be a little bit religious.
Make of it what you will. Let me know what you think. Now I have to go and put some eyeliner on. Oh, and last chance to enter my competition to win free web hosting! Eric’s currently sound asleep in a box. A closed box. Well, I assume he’s asleep, I can’t hear any noises…
(If you’re reading this in a… reader… you’ll need to visit my blog or download the PDF to read it!)
[ipaper id=14597482]
Hezabelle
Apr 26, 2009
Oooh good job! I still feel like I don’t exactly know what happened though….!!
sebastian
Apr 26, 2009
It’s OK, neither do I…
If I can turn it into a longer story, I’ll explain it better. I kind of dug myself a little hole and made it a little too mysterious for a short story. I couldn’t just have them jump on a plane and have Anthony explain what the object did, that’d be a cop-out.
More than anything, it was meant to just be one scene (the alleyway and the coffee shop), and it grew from there.
Hey, it was just a first attempt… the next one will be better!
Hezabelle
Apr 26, 2009
I liked it though – for a short story leaving some things unsaid is definitely important. Short stories are about what’s outside the pages, too.
I was hoping for the man on man action, but ah well. I SUPPOSE it works without it. hahaha.
sebastian
Apr 26, 2009
Well, if you like, Anthony and Gabriel were together before Emma appeared and stole Anthony away from Gabe. That’s what happened near the beginning of the story.
floreta
Apr 27, 2009
dark! i do like the ambiguous ending..
sebastian
Apr 27, 2009
I hoped it was up-lifting enough to counter the darkness. I didn’t want too bitter a taste left in the reader’s mouth
Ambles
Apr 30, 2009
Okay, so I JUST read it!
Sorry it took me so long!
But what can I say now, except “Amazing, Riveting, and Amazing again”?
Anyway, I think you did a really great job and you should definitely keep up with the fiction writing! How’s it feel to be finished?
sebastian
Apr 30, 2009
I’m glad you liked it
I want to write something with very little dialogue in next, and probably something creepy, rather than action/thriller’ish. I have a good beginning in my head, so I just need to sit down and write it.
But currently I am writing way too much already… I need to find a gap in the schedule somewhere
Ambles
May 1, 2009
I have an idea for a creepy story as well… only problem is, every time I go to write it I just can’t seem to get it to sound right! Too much pressure from myself to make it perfect or something…
Oh, and I think you should call this one “The Relic”… makes it sound more dramatic (Just a thought, don’t take it as criticism!)