Say hello to Eric, my 13 year old blind cat.
He’s blind because of very high blood pressure, which detached his retinas or something. We tried medicating him but it didn’t seem to have an effect, so for the last 6 months he’s been coming to terms with being blind. From what I can tell, he operates on some kind of sonar — he mews pathetically, and then waits for someone to respond, and then walks towards that person. That’s basically what he does all day: meow, human meow, walk, sit on lap, purr. His whiskers stop him from bumping into things, though he does get confused if people stand on his normal patrol route — he walks straight into them (which is very funny, and I will try to photograph it!)
He’s actually mewing outside right now, lost in the middle of our huge garden, wondering where the house is… Perhaps I should call him…
Anyway… enough about Eric. I’ll tell his story one day — about how he ran away for 9 years, and only recently returned to us! — but not today.
TODAY… I am launching another competition. This is probably mostly of interest to other bloggers, but ‘Internet Power Users’ might also be interested. What am I giving away?
FREE WEB HOSTING!
I host websites — that’s mainly what I do to make money — and so I thought I could host one more: YOURS! This is your chance to win some free web hosting, managed by yours truly. What could you do with this offer of free hosting?
- A self-hosted blog! WordPress or Typepad, or something else entirely — this is your chance to have a blog that’s fully under your control. Custom designs, funky widgets… anything is possible with a self-hosted blog!
- Lots of web space! Maybe you want to host some MP3s of your own music, or images for your blog layout, or funny cat pictures — now is your chance!
- A personal domain name! You could also buy a domain name (www.yourname.com) and use the web hosting I’m offering to set up a website.
Most importantly, for the technophobes out there, I’ll help you set things up. Show you the ropes. Get you started.
How do I win?!
Unlike my previous contest, this one’s really easy. You just need to leave a comment of any kind.
What’s the catch?
To win, Eric has to like your comment. I will print out every comment and place it on the ground around Eric — he will then choose the winner by sitting, laying or chewing one of your comments. Obviously, if you tell me an awesome story, it’ll be quite a big piece of paper. If you just leave a comment with ‘Pick Me!’ it’ll be quite a small bit of paper, and less likely to be sat on!
Perhaps, if you’re enterprising, you could send me your own comment on a postcard imbued with the smell of cat food or catnip?! On the offchance that Eric isn’t completely blind maybe he would be drawn to a particuarly loving, heart-felt comment? Or a colourful drawing in Paintbrush/Photoshop of a lovely female cat?
Of course, I will photograph (or video) the entire ‘decision-making process’, ala American/Pop Idol. I might even dramatise it a little for your viewing pleasure.
You have a week to enter this competition and I’ll remind you throughout the week with cute photos of my blind cat Eric.
This competition is open to everyone, though I’m sure Eric will respond better to regular readers of this blog, as I’ve told him all about you guys — he’s a great listener. Feel free to tell your friends about the competition, though you might want to keep it to yourself to increase your chances of winning…
jen - tsk
Apr 20, 2009
Well Good Morning! Your blind cat is so much cuter than my toothless cat!! Before toothless cat I did in fact have a blind dog…his name was lucky…he got hit by a car…ironic? Perhaps Eric shouold pick me because he might be able to relate to Lucky (sort of!).
Anyhoo, I think I should win. I have all sorts of cat treats that Eric will love….holy cow, you need to email me your address and I will send Eric a surprise bound to make me win!! Email me at awolat25@gmail.com or you know where I am on Twitter!
pinkjellybaby
Apr 20, 2009
Oh! I love him!
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
Eric is currently sitting on my lap, sniffing around. I don’t think he’s found my laptop screen yet, but when he does, I’m sure he’ll let me know which one of you is currently most likely to win. Any moment now…
pinkjellybaby
Apr 20, 2009
Do you think he’d like to retire to Spain?
Damn you Mr Seb…Monday’s are not a good day to be showing me cute cat pictures, his little face makes me want to cry.
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
I’m sure if he could see your cute face, he would start to cry too! Little miracle-induced catty tears…
I think retiring to Spain sounds like a lovely idea
pinkjellybaby
Apr 20, 2009
Oh
I need to stop looking at the picture.
Well we might be getting a kitten in a few weeks…so he could look after Eric and make sure he doesn’t bump into things… a guide kitten if you will…
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
I think… my dad wants a dog. Though, we could get a kitten — I just don’t know how Eric and our other cat would react.
I have some lovely black and white film photos of my other cat (Mango) who recently died…
Marmalady
Apr 20, 2009
lovely cute cat — darent show his pic to my cat-mad daughter
do you think bribing his owner with flapjack and/or marmalade will induce eric to pick me ?
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
I can’t speak for the owner — that’d break the integrity of this competition! — but I’m sure Eric LOVES marmalade. And tiramisu, apparently…
Marmalady
Apr 20, 2009
“spreads marmalade on my comments to attract eric*
debsmuddle
Apr 20, 2009
Well he is bound to like me as I had a cat called Eric.Not sure where the name came from but think my son was (briefly) into football and named him after Eric Cantona.When we moved into this house in 2005 Eric took full advantage of his new rural location and to our knowledge caught (and ate) 37 rabbits. The population seemed to dip after this and he only had a few the next year.Sadly we lost Eric last year and he is buried in the front garden under the hedgerow.
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
Such a lovely tale! I am sure it will remind Eric of his glory days when he too caught rabbits, rats and even a few pigeons!
He’s called Eric because he was the last of the litter, and a runt. We figured Eric was a kind-of runty name (and he looks like an Eric, too.) Cantona is anything but runty, however…
Eric
Apr 20, 2009
Such bullshit, Eric being a runty name. It evokes royalty, and vikings. Vikings are the opposite of runty. Eric, I like your name, and I’d like it even if my name wasn’t Eric.
pinkjellybaby
Apr 20, 2009
Um… I really want to post something to Eric but it would take about 2 weeks to get there… if I tell you what I would have sent, can you ‘fashion’ it yourself to give to him? Or is that cheating?
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
As long as it doesn’t involve too much knitting… I never did get the hang of knitting. I can do crochet, though. And most kinds of sewing…
I only meant in animals, Eric, sir. May I suggest that you change your name to Ericsson von Uberwald or something though? That’s far more manly. Not that your name isn’t very manly as it is. *Chest bump?*
pinkjellybaby
Apr 20, 2009
No knitting, I can’t knit unless a scarf for my Barbie when I was about 10 counts?
Ok, I will do as much of it as I can myself and then pass it onto you for the finishing touches…
Eric
Apr 20, 2009
I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to my fellow Eric.
I’ve got a thing for runty or handicapped cats. I had a three-legged cat, and a cat with a busted hip. Ship Eric over to me if you’re just gonna make fun of him and use him in blog-games. I’ll take care of him.
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
3 legs is nuffin’! Have you seen the 2-leg cats that pull themselves along on little chariot-type affairs…?
Perhaps, to send Eric off, I could ship him around the world and have him photographed with various different Erics — famous and not-so-famous. Where in the world is Eric the Runt?
Sarcastically Bitter
Apr 20, 2009
Eric is cute! Even though I like dogs better.
jo
Apr 20, 2009
It made me laugh out loud at Eric the blogger’s comment! ( as opposed to Eric the cat)
The thing is, in America, Eric is considered to be a cool name, but in England it is old-fashioned and implies a weedy stature. I have no doubt that you are a big hunk of a guy ( to Eric the blogger, not Eric the cat)
sebastian
Apr 21, 2009
… I bet you dress your dog up too…
In a Cthulu outfit. Now THAT would be awesome.
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
The beautiful irony is… Eric ‘The American Viking’ is actually about 5’5″…
jo
Apr 20, 2009
Yes, that IS ironic……. but I am sure he is a Mental Viking. I mean, a Viking mentally…. er…..
Hezabelle
Apr 20, 2009
Dear Eric,
You may be blind but you see my soul
Speaking to my heart with your miaoul
Your whiskers will help you feel your way
To my poem, which is only a little cliche
Oh Eric, adorable – la petit minou
This is a poem just for you
Even though Seb’s exploiting your disability
My words will find you some tranquility
How do I love Eric? Let me count the ways!
Pretty white fur and some shades of gray!
Your expression may be a little blank
But you purr like a fluffy little tank
Now that my comment is getting long
And I know our love is very strong
I leave you make the right choice
A follow the sound of my poetic “voice.”
*bows*
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
I just read out loud to him (though I imagine he’d be more responsive to a cute female voice).
‘Fluffy little tank’ was his favourite line. By far.
Hezabelle
Apr 20, 2009
hahah I hope he doesn’t speak French, because I just realized I made a grammar mistake. Geeze. Only four French words and I still mess it up.
Fluffy little tank is definitely the best line. That and my attempt to rhyme with “disability.”
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
Well, actually, since he’s been struck blind, he spent the cold winter curled up in the living room learning other languages.
It was quite painstaking, but his life is a whole lot more fulfilling now that he can, um… go on holiday… and… translate those non-English art-house films we so often watch.
Hannah
Apr 20, 2009
so, i don’t want to be included in the competition, but I just want to say that Eric is super cute. But, if I did want to be included I would totally send him a little blue and white sailor cape…cause he needs one. Or a lobster costume. We got my cat a lobster costume for Halloween one year and it was the funniest thing ever. I would also loan him my cat, Mina, and she could go around catching cock roaches and finches for him (that’s what she’s best at)…and since she doesn’t eat them he could have them all to himself.
I really can’t get over how cute he is.
the girl in stiletto
Apr 20, 2009
eric is blind?? :’( i bet he can see people through & true. give eric a cute little kiss on top of his head & stroke his head for half an hour. lol seb, if he’s here with me, i’ll do it myself, since he’s sitting on your lap, you have to do it on my behalf.
p.s hezabelle’s poem is really good. i think you should let hezabelle win. ahahah wait, that’s up to eric to decide. LOL.
Jaime @ Fast Times
Apr 20, 2009
I’m just commenting to tell you that Eric is so cute! I can’t believe he’s 13. He looks good for his age. ^^ Also I would really love to read about his disappearance. 9 years… that’s a long time to wait before coming home. It’s almost magical. <3
I’m not entering your competition. Just saying hello!
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
A sailor cap OR a lobster outfit? It’s the way you say it as if they’re somehow inexorably linked. Why not both? Captain Lobster!
…
I am sure he’d love a whole harem of helper kittens that bring him food and animal playthings. Sadly, during the 9 years that he was missing, he was castrated… so he’d just be the gentle old lion, tended to by the little pussy cats.
He does look good for his age. I think he had a very cushy life while he was gone… but that’ll have to wait for when I tell the full story
Hannah
Apr 20, 2009
well it’s a sailor CAPE…not cap. and the lobster costume is a full body costume…wraps all around their head and legs…they LOVE it. and it’s the cutest thing in the world. but you can’t do both at the same time…. My cat also has a skull shirt and a spider costume with little bootie things….yes, I’m someone that dresses my cat. and I’m thinking that your cat too needs a costume of some kind….
floreta
Apr 20, 2009
there’s gotta be a catch!!
free web hosting forever and ever???
Eric
Apr 20, 2009
Where did you get that I was 5’5”? I’m 5’10”. Ever-so-slightly-above-average height.
The truly funny thing is that I have a housemate who is much closer to being a viking, yet his name is Gavin–a name I associate much more closely with the British.
I’m thinking of putting my novel in here as a comment. Is that cheating? I really want to redo my blog for my move to California.
Roog
Apr 20, 2009
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‘^–’ ______/
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| | |—’
(_(__| ((__|
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
Yep, indefinitely. Of course, I reserve the right to terminate you if you host porn or something silly… but we’re talking at least a year or two, or more. I have a lot of websites, and I’m not going to cease hosting them, so the free hosting will probably just last… forever.
I’m just winding you up, Eric. I underestimated. Your hackles speak volumes, Eric-san! Gavin is very English indeed… almost as much as Trevor or something…
Hannah, I knew people dressed up their dogs… but cats…? That sounds incredibly… different? Show me a picture!
Beautiful cat, Roog. I’m not sure if Eric can appreciate ASCII art, but maybe he can still make out light/shadow enough to appreciate such simple artwork.
Hannah
Apr 20, 2009
tell me how to get them off my apple with the broken monitor onto the new (crappy) PC and I’ll show you pictures….otherwise you will have to wait until I go to see my parents in August.
and yes, I dress the cats because I don’t have a dog to dress. Well I don’t have my cat right now either but I totally dressed her up all the time…it’s hilarious.
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
You need to get out more.
Or have children.
Actually, no… that might classify as cruel and unusual punishment.
How about a stuffed animal…?
Hannah
Apr 20, 2009
you are the second person to tell me that I need to get out more in the past 2 days and like the 10th person to point out that I shouldn’t have children. thanks.
sebastian
Apr 20, 2009
You can have kids, just make sure they’re with a sensible guy that stops you from dressing them up in lobster outfits.
At least until they’re old enough to say ‘no’ anyway
Eric
Apr 21, 2009
I had my hackles removed as a child. They got infected. Very sad.
Hannah
Apr 21, 2009
Actually I’m hoping to have it (the kid I mean) with someone who finds my desire to dress it as a delicious sea creature endearing. Still searching though.
Tina Mammoser
Apr 21, 2009
oooh, I need hosting for my podcasts – of which I have few and am so rubbish at remembering to edit them that I’ve been paying for libsyn hosting without uploading much! Duh. By the way, I’m fabulous at recording them, I can talk to myself for hours.
If Sebastian chose me of course I would do a very special cat podcast just for him. After all, he clearly likes when you talk to him.
In fact, I could interview cat artists to get their take on the current art world and cat art. He might enjoy that. Is he a cultural cat or more into sports?
sebastian
Apr 21, 2009
I think you meant Eric in your second paragraph, but it’s OK, I don’t mind being confused with a blind cat…
Podcast hosting sounds like a great purpose!
He used to be into sports, but for obvious reasons he’s not very good at fetching sticks and tennis balls any more. He seems to appreciate the particularly awful auditions on American/Pop Idol on TV, though.
Tina Mammoser
Apr 21, 2009
ah, eric sebastian, whichever of you is the cat that day.
sorry! Cats are way smarter than people (and are trying to secretly take over the world) so consider it a compliment. (btw, I’m more a dog person for precisely that reason; I want my pets dumb and grateful)
Chase
Apr 21, 2009
really, I’m only writing this because I’m in full support of a video.
(include some chin-action narration)
But if I did win, I’d likely accept the prize graciously.
Oh, and I love your profile picture on here.
It’s like 70′s Jesus.
sebastian
Apr 21, 2009
The problem is, being blind, Eric tends to do an awful lot of… sitting… and doing not much.
I was experimenting today (blog post to follow tomorrow). I surrounded him with paper and waited.
And waited some more.
He just sat there, in the middle of 10 pieces of paper, unmoving.
I hope he performs on the day…
(And lo’! May solace granted by thy saviour — me — lift you up high his wings!)
Lindsay
Apr 22, 2009
Wait. Wait. Wait. Did you name your cat after Eric? Or… was Eric named after your cat?
My mind is being blown right now.
Kali
Apr 22, 2009
I like Eric. Eric’s cute.
sebastian
Apr 22, 2009
That’s going to be a very small piece of paper, Kali…
Eric’s 13 years old, Lindsay, which predates my relationship with The Hairless Herculean Studmuffin that we both know and love.
Don’t let that stop your mind being blown, though.
cari
Apr 22, 2009
I hate being a late commenter because everything that I want to say has already been said by someone else, and really, who wants to leave the same comment as 10 other people? Bah. I need to learn to comment sooner. I don’t even have a brilliant gem to leave you with either. Sometimes I just suck at life.
sebastian
Apr 22, 2009
Well, you could tell like… a completely-unrelated anecdote.
How about your first cat, or pet?
But sure, self-deprecation never fails either… *pats* There there.
shuping
Apr 22, 2009
Eric, I’ll introduce Frederick to you.
There. My comment for the competition.
(Fred is my mac.)
Eleni
Apr 23, 2009
I was a lobster for Halloween in fourth grade. Then again in either seventh or eighth grade; when you have a costume that great, you’ve got to use it more than once.
Just thought I’d add that, since it’s not often that lobster costumes come up in conversation. Oh, and Eric is totally adorable.
sebastian
Apr 23, 2009
He’ll just sit on your Mac, Shuping. If you mean Macintosh and not ‘plastic rain mack’, of course.
No claim without photographic evidence, Eleni. You know the rules. *narrows eyes*
Ambles
Apr 23, 2009
Aw, pretty! I would honestly love to get a cat… you know, if I didn’t think The Dingo would eat him/her out of pure jealousy and spite.
The Dingo is our family dog, by the way. He’s not particularly violent… although he sometimes gets just a touch of the mad-dog syndrome whenever we take him out for a walk. What happens is, he’ll be perfectly fine, pulling at his leash, smelling things, etc. when all of a sudden he goes completely psychotic and starts barking/choking his head off (via the ever-so-necessary choke chain). Why the sudden burst of insanity? He has just seen another dog and he is very lonely and desperate. And he has no pride. Or game, mind you (the whole mysterious thing is totally lost on him, if you know what I mean.) It’s sad really, because all the time he is trying so hard to get some doggy attention and it’s getting him nowhere. He is quite frankly making a total fool of himself, and giving it away in the process.
Oh God, do have more in common with my dog than I think?
Renee
Apr 23, 2009
Hello dearest Eric,
It seems that your fur is especially soft and pettable and I hope you get the best of treatment by your hosts (Seb and family). You know, I share with you some photographs and tales of my own kitties, one of which which is no longer with us. And might I add that you have a fabulously handsome name which is nowhere near runty at all?
This here is the dearly departed Sugar, who would have been delighted at your acquaintance if she ever had the chance.
Princess is much less elegant…
However she has seemed to have classed up in recent months. She is quite good for conversation as she is quite talkative. (It must be a Siamese thing.)
It was a delight to be introduced to you and meet, I hope you experience a day of utter bliss.
With warmest thoughts,
Renee
.
Apr 23, 2009
“Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit…”
“There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain…”
sebastian
Apr 23, 2009
(I just looked up that Latin paragraph and it’s ‘grief’, not ‘pain’, but perhaps our interpretation of Latin varies? I had no idea that was the beginning of Lorem ipsum, derived from one of Cicero’s works… neat!)
Your cats are both beautiful, Renee! Eric is actually descended from a line of Siamese/Burmese cats (he’s 1/8th Siamese I think, 1/8th Burmese — maybe a quarter.) I should tell the story about our cats, if it’s interesting enough — I’ll have a think about it! Eric’s mother was called Madonna, because she would always lay on her back with her legs in the air, much like Princess…
Talking about your cats was definitely better than talking about a dog… I’m not sure Eric will appreciate your anecdote, Ambles. But I’ll try to convince him that your dog just has an inferiority complex and that, though blind, Eric could probably still take him on.
Eleni
Apr 23, 2009
I know, I know, but the only pictures are hard copies at my parents’ house. I’d either have to get my dad to scan them in or wait until I go home maybe in June or July… *Sigh* I’ll see what I can do.
Ambles
Apr 23, 2009
Well the point was really to make both of you laugh at my dog… and at me!
I think Eric will like it because really, what cat doesn’t love to be reminded of how ridiculous dogs are?
Renee
Apr 23, 2009
Yes! Cat stories!