I’m going to come right out and say it: I’m gay
Ever since I started writing here on this blog, I’ve been trying to work out the best way to tell you.
I alluded to it with numerous posts about musical theatre, and incredibly insightful articles on the inner workings of girls; something that a straight guy could never do, at least not with such alarming accuracy.
I even tried to tell you through my constant use, and love, of pink. My pink t-shirts, my pink scarves, my pink fluffy love-cuffs — I tried it all! Somehow… somehow you kept holding on, praying that it was all a ruse, a lie. He must be straight, surely…
I even thought it might’ve been the beard, so I shaved that off too.
I’ve told you tales of me waxing off my leg hair, and you’ve seen the photo of me with the handlebar moustache and hot-pink shoulder-padded jacket — that’s what I wear most weekends!
And then, of course, there were all those stories — the one about me turning a girl gay, or the next girl running off to become a priest. You didn’t actually think they were real? They were mere fabrications; figments of an imaginary world that I have lived in for the last decade. A world that I conjured into existence in an attempt to convince my family, my friends and myself that I’m straight.
Well, I’m not straight.
I’m gay.
Gay, like Boy George rolling up at Mardi Gras in a baby-pink Mini. Gay.
Time and time again I have sat down to dinner with my mother and father, unable to look them in the eye. ‘Got a girlfriend yet, Seb?’ followed by the words I’ve had to repeat each and every time, year after year: ‘No, not yet, Dad…’
Being a wimp — though, finally coming out must surely be the first step to getting some balls? — I thought I would post this entry, instead of telling my parents in person. They both read this blog.
So that’s that, then.
We have a family dinner tonight. I just know my father won’t be able to keep a straight face when dessert is served and I ask him to pass me the hot fudge sauce.
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hahahahahaha you are such a dork.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:33 amYep….very gay. I think it’s the socks.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:36 amdid you embroider those pants yourself?
April 1st, 2009 at 8:39 amdayem those pants are way high. and are you sporting a boner? there is a big bulge in your pants.
April 1st, 2009 at 9:04 amGay or straight, I still have a crush on you.
I normally have to tape it down, to stop boys from staring at me, and stopping me when I go out.
They’re my ‘Britney jeans’, Hannah — did that phrase make it over there? They’re my fave.
I didn’t think anyone would notice the socks!
April 1st, 2009 at 10:24 ampersonally, my fav is the scarf!!!! let me know if you ever see a pink knitted scarf you absolutely HAVE to have and maybe I can help you out
April 1st, 2009 at 12:37 pmI actually have a pink and blue and silver-threaded scarf that was crocheted for me last Christmas!
But I would love another, and it would be good practice for you!
April 1st, 2009 at 12:45 pmJust when I thought I’m about to put out.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
I kid. I cant believe you wore that pants, with that belt? Let me brush up your gayness a little more.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:04 pmI haven’t had much of a chance to perfect my outfit, because I could only dress up once a week if I was lucky!
It’ll be better now, now that I can try out new outfits at home
April 1st, 2009 at 1:06 pmAw. The thrill is gone for me, Seb. Once you’re out of the closet I’ve got no reason to flirt.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:18 pmWe can still be ‘man friends’. I can take off the scarf, drink beer. Well, apple juice, but I can pretend it’s beer.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:30 pmI think you need to wear this outfit every day. I will even allow a slight variation on it.
April 1st, 2009 at 2:17 pmBeing a rather sassy girl yourself, I would appreciate your opinion: which bit is most ‘vital’ to the outfit? Which bits could I chop and change, depending on my mood?
April 1st, 2009 at 2:36 pmI would say the socks don’t really do much for me and the jacket…well its a tad too butch…I would maybe experiment with a lavender shirt in place of pink…The pants can NEVER be changed they are the heart of the ensemble and the braided belt just adds that little bit of umph it needed.
April 1st, 2009 at 2:39 pmLavender shirt, Britney jeans and scarf… Alrighty, I’ll see what I can do for tomorrow! Thanks darling.
April 1st, 2009 at 2:43 pmYou’re a nasty piece of work, my friend.
Nice chair poses, by the way
April 1st, 2009 at 2:52 pmYup. It’s the foot pop that gave it away.
April 1st, 2009 at 4:02 pmThere were a bunch of other ones by the stove, but they didn’t come out so well. You’ll just have to take my word for it that I’m a domestic Goddess.
April 1st, 2009 at 4:05 pmwtf are “Britney Jeans”? as in Britney Spears?
April 1st, 2009 at 6:20 pmThey’re the jeans with that fancy, lovely embroidery on them. I think you could even buy ones with ‘Britney’ scrawled on them in shiny, glittery thread, back when she was really famous.
And yes, as in Britney Spears!
April 1st, 2009 at 6:23 pmThe middle right photo is, by far, my favorite.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:19 pmProblem is, that one is by far the most straight pose!
April 1st, 2009 at 7:29 pmNo, it’s not. Bottom middle is “by far the most straight pose.”
April 1st, 2009 at 7:35 pmthis is fab. but as a former drama student believe me when i say …. you need to step it up a gear
April 1st, 2009 at 9:24 pmPfft… I did a lot of drama too! Up until the end of university…!
My MOBILITY and GRACE is not captured adequately in the medium of still photography! Neither is the MAGIC!
April 1st, 2009 at 9:32 pmthat is so weird….why would you want to wear pants that had Britney’s name on them…oh wait, your gay now, almost forgot
April 1st, 2009 at 9:36 pmI just randomly came across your blog and wanted to congratulate you on a great blog! This post made me laugh out loud – a real belly laugh – which is no mean feat today being a bit hung over and with a 6 year old crying because she has been asked to pick her clothes up off the floor and she wont do it. Nice work! I’ll be back.
April 5th, 2009 at 12:08 ami am shocked about the acting here. You have really spotted well, how to look like a gay.
April 5th, 2009 at 12:48 amEspecially the right one in the middle line is very very Realistic. The others include the look of,
“yes i am kidding with you and that’s just fun” but the one i mentioned is just real ! So based on that picture
“YES YOU ARE GAY!”
I’m afraid, Karga… I know this will be a disappointment, but… I’m not gay
But thank you for the… kind words!
Cara, I will visit your blog and comment!
April 5th, 2009 at 12:53 amYou look as gay as Christmas, sebby. Well done.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:10 amI love you, sebastain. but this post (combined with the last I read) made me thoroughly confused about your orientation.
hell… I think I’m now calling MY orientation into question.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:20 amLol gay, you’re as gay as I am – which on the face of it isnt a bad thing – but I’ve seen your pirate pics and you look beautiful in ruffles!
April 28th, 2009 at 12:36 amWhy thank you, fair lady.
I think, for the sake of this entry at least, I am very gay. Let’s try and keep up the illusion!
April 28th, 2009 at 12:47 amit would not be fair to limit tht bulge to only males!!!
thts all am saying.
and your sitting on chair pics hve won my heart and may have caused a teeny tiny crush now…
May 8th, 2009 at 7:59 amPhew!
May 10th, 2009 at 11:21 amGrandma!
Ah, my grandmother finally found my blog…
May 10th, 2009 at 11:42 amMusical theatre, fine. But you’re not certifiably gay until you’ve admitted a deep, intense love for Gilbert & Sullivan operettas.
Todger.
June 10th, 2009 at 1:08 pmThe Mikado is on my daily play list.
Don’t try to out-gay me, butcho.
June 10th, 2009 at 1:09 pmWell as you’re wearing your socks, you didn’t stuff ‘em down your trousers, which can only mean one thing….you raided your sock drawer!
June 14th, 2009 at 12:32 amHah… hah… hah.
OK, you caught me
June 14th, 2009 at 12:33 amdude, is this for real? i only saw this one today in your sidebar… can’t believe it…after all those TMI’s i’ve read.
aha, maybe you’re just doing some kind of a scheme here…
if you are indeed one, are you one of those people who keeps on voting for John and Edward on THE X FACTOR…
October 21st, 2009 at 10:38 amWhat a question to ask…
The X Factor one that is, not the ‘gay’ one.
No, I don’t vote for them.
And I’m not gay either.
Look at when this entry was posted…!
But I’m glad I’m believable…
October 21st, 2009 at 1:22 pmmy bad… april fools day blog post…
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pmmy bad… april fools day blog post…
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:36 pm