I don’t have long to write today. I’m not ashamed to admit the reason why, either: in the last 2 days, I’ve played 20 hours of World of Warcraft.
Okay, actually that does sound shameful… but only a little! It’s not like the time I played 60 hours of Final Fantasy VII in 3 days…
The last two days have been positively tame in comparison!
What is shameful however, is that this blog entry will resemble one of those awful mash-up ‘clips’ episodes of The Simpsons when Matt Groening was obviously too lazy to make an entirely new episode. Instead of entirely fresh content, I’m going to serve up the blogging equivalent of re-fried re-fried beans (repetition intentional, because seemingly, you’re meant to refry them at least once before consumption). You know, this is a rare case of me having to actually bite my tongue: I just looked it up, and it turns out ‘re-fried’ is actually a mistranslation, and ‘re’ should actually be translated as ‘well-fried beans’. How about that; funny and educational.
Bear in mind as you read this entry that I’ve been doing pretty well. I’ve posted once a day, every day, for months! If you’ve only just started reading this blog, you’ll probably learn a whole lot of new stuff about me; if you’ve been here from the start, you can probably come back tomorrow, when I’ll hopefully have some pretty photos to show you of the seaside city of Brighton.
So, first of all (because apparently, a lot of people who read this blog don’t know this): I’m tall. 77 inches of semi-lean geeky goodness. 196cm of prime-cut, intelligent Britishness. That’s 6’5″ of witty hairiness for you fellow Imperialists. I had a look through my blog, and there’s only one entry about me being tall, but it’s quite good: ‘Wow, you’re mighty tall‘. Unfortunately, this means my cousin will kill me again for publishing the above photo of us; a small price to pay for such a great photo, though. Also, I’m aware that it looks like I have a huge moustache on my upper lip, but it’s actually my shadow! I’m aware that I look short — but if I tell you he’s 6’8″, 200cm — that makes me look a bit taller, right?
Talking of moustaches… (and a lot of you know what’s coming)… did you know I once shaved off half my beard, purely for your enjoyment? OK, I enjoyed it a little.
Sorry, I must’ve used that image at least 3 times, but I can’t just leave it to gather dust in an old entry. I even went to the post office, with the dual-beard, to prove that I am, without a doubt, a fearless weirdo.
Right now, you’re probably thinking there must’ve been a really good reason for shaving off only half of my beard. Unfortunately, you’d be wrong: I did it for YouTube. Yup, I sold my soul to the appreciative, 5-star-rating masses — all 250 of them — for my short video blog series ‘Day 37‘. It’s in 3 short parts, and features, at its pinnacle, the dual beard. I’m told it’s actually quite funny, so perhaps you should go ahead an watch a hirsute Brit babbling bullshit for 5 minutes.
Finally, way back when, in the ‘early days’ (read: February 2009), I did a series of podcasts/audio blogs called ‘The Penis Monologues‘. They actually get a lot of hits from search engines, but people don’t navigate there from the blog itself. This is me plugging them, and my fantastic array of awful accents. Marvel as I attempt a Scottish accent and fail. Dismally. The Irish is actually passable, if you’ve never met a real Irish person. If you enjoy them, you might like to read about the ‘creative process‘ (a fancy term for ‘I enjoy the sound of my own voice, so let’s record something funny!)
As you read this, I’ll be waking up at ungodly o’clock and hopping on a train to Brighton, to have some fun and do a little research at the same time. I want to talk about this little business venture I have planned, but I don’t know if it’s safe to!