Eric (who will soon be a published author, if people read his story excerpt and big him up on Amazon) actually printed out the beginning of my story, took it to a coffee shop and proceeded to mark it up — with a red pen, no less. He then took digital photos, and sent them to me so that I could experience the authentic ‘editor’s pen destroying my beautiful manuscript’ feeling.
So, I read his notes; digested them, even. Mulled them over. Then I sat down to write some more! I haven’t actually reworked the beginning, but I had his notes/guidance in my mind as I approached the next part of the story. I want to call it the ‘middle’, but it’s probably more like… from 25% to 50%, or maybe 60% at a stretch.
(For this plug, Eric said he’d give me that little ‘dedicated’ credit at the front of his first book, how cool is that? ‘Dedicated to that hairy guy who I could’ve sworn was gay for the first year of our friendship.’)
(Can you tell I’m writing this at 3am?)
Today, the short story comes to you in ‘iPaper’ form. I think you’ll have to view it on my blog, rather than your RSS reader. Alternatively, you can view the PDF (if that’s more convenient for you).
Again, I’d love to hear your feedback — remember, the first bit is virtually unchanged — the new stuff is about half way through (page 4), but feel free to read from the start. I think it’s coming together quite nicely!
[ipaper id=13977883 width=700]Tomorrow, I have a killer blog planned and a guest post on a friend’s blog… so check back!
Ambles
Apr 5, 2009
You say I use your for your “body,” but it’s your mind that I find so damn attractive!
P.S. Are they in Amsterdam?
Abi
Apr 5, 2009
Damn you.
On the very day I say I am paring back my google reader I add you.
This is very well written in terms of layers and disclosure. I feel much more that I am discovering the story as opposed to being spoon fed it. I like the way we are immediately forced to make judgements about the characters with only the bare minimum of information but that the characters are nonetheless firmly established by the time we stop reading.
There is much more economy in your writing now, which is a good thing.
sebastian
Apr 5, 2009
No, they’re somewhere in England! And it’s OK, you can love me for my mind too; just remember my body needs some attention, too.
Whatever you do, Abi, don’t get stuck into my archives… they’re large. I wrote prolifically. Perhaps too prolifically. Unfortunately, for a girls, there’s an awful lot of good stuff to read…
I’m glad you like the story! I sat down and worked out the rest of the story, and it should continue to disclose slowly but surely, and satisfyingly.
I want to write a proper little non-dialogue bit (very few short stories I’ve read seem to have so much dialogue in… they seem to just ‘tell the story’, rather than show it). Next bit will likely not come for a few days though, as I need to write some other things!
Eric
Apr 5, 2009
You’re getting better. Keep trucking. And thanks for the link.
sebastian
Apr 5, 2009
The least I can do. Thanks for the dedication, and the veritable high-praise you are lavishing upon me.
andhari
Apr 5, 2009
Guest post at lolita hopefully :p dude I was partying yesterday with a bucnh you might call stuck up socialites..you’re right they always find their way to piss me off that’s why I hate all these sometimes..
Eric
Apr 5, 2009
Yeah, I don’t know where you came up with the dedication thing. I’m dedicating it to my favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry’s.
sebastian
Apr 5, 2009
Phish Food?
Gawd, just looking at their various flavours/recipes: http://www.benjerry.com/flavors/ — it’s been a long time since I’ve had Ben & Jerry’s… a long time.
And now I’m drooling, great.
Hezabelle
Apr 5, 2009
Damnit, I was hoping Anthony was in love with Gabriel. But nooooo, there has to be a GIRL.
I like it!!
sebastian
Apr 5, 2009
Goddamn you geek girls and your incessant wish for every male character to be gay!
The amount of Snape/Dumbledore fan-fiction I’ve read… *shudders*
(But in this case, you might not be wrong)
Hezabelle
Apr 5, 2009
YES!
Snape/Dumbledore? Really? hahaha. I’ve heard about Harry/Draco… and Harry/Snape…. And Harry/Ron… And Ginny/Hermione, all of which always involve lots of giggling.
pinkjellybaby
Apr 5, 2009
I’m with Hezabelle on the girl…..I bet she’s hot… as usual
Ambles
Apr 5, 2009
Yes, and my mind needs some attention, lest you forget!
It was meant to be a compliment, by the way.
sebastian
Apr 5, 2009
Hm, I haven’t decided if she’s hot or not.
I’ll probably stick quite close to home on this one, as it’s easier to write about things you’ve experienced (duh).
She’ll probably not be beautiful. Not conventionally so
Heza — Check this Cracked page for some truly interesting/awful/hot fan-fic match-ups: http://www.cracked.com/article_16554_5-most-baffling-sex-scenes-in-history-fanfiction.html