Today, Tuesday, is the first of a few limited-edition one-off ‘specials’. You know, like those episodes of Mythbusters where they go to Siberia, or borrow a bunch of high-grade military weapons. Each of these specials will focus on a particular aspect of I, Sebastian, normally featuring some kind of retarded dressing up.
You see, being a roleplayer and an actor, and having a mother that is also an actor and a massive, charismatic extrovert, I often end up in some pretty ridiculous predicaments. In a tutu, as Tinkerbell, or a fluffy bull-body suit as Nana the Dog. I’ve been cowboys (both gay and straight), a mouse in Cinderella, an extra from Dirty Dancing and, yes, I’ve been a pirate.
Quiet a few times, actually. I like wearing eye-liner, what can I say? Actually, I like the attention I get from girls when I wear eye-liner. I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the occasional camp dress-up (most men would be lying if they said that!) Since Pirates of the Caribbean I’ve had 3 chances to get out the smock and saber and taken advantage of every of them!
My first time… (dressing as a pirate)… was in 2004 just after the first film, back when the world was only talking about two things: ‘Isn’t Johnny Depp dreamy? I didn’t think I could love a camp drunk, but in his case…’ and ‘Cor, Orlando Bloom’s a bit of a girl, but damn… he’s cute.’ In fact, about 90% of all girls had a poster of one or the other on their wall. Not one to squander such potential pulling power, my first attempt at Orlando Bloom as Will Turner:
As you can see, I only managed a rapier that time — not quite the right kind of sword, but it did the job, as you can see from the rampant blonde attack. She was moving so quickly that she actually got in and out of the frame in the time it took the photographer to press the button. Drive-by kissing at its finest. This is also one of the very few photos with me wearing glasses and smiling.
Next, we have a fairly generic pirate. This was around the same time that I discovered eye-liner and started wearing it at every possible opportunity; well, whenever I was home alone, anyway. I wonder to this day if my mother noticed her eye-liner pencil going blunt without her use. Maybe she just kept it quiet, for my sake, and for my father’s blood pressure.
I actually wore my facial hair like that for quite some time — I quite liked it (and The American loved it, but that’s another tearjerker for another Time-Travel Thursday), but turns out I looked a bit old and, er, rapist’ish, so I finally stopped trimming my beard like that last year. I still think it’s pretty sexy though…
Finally, we have the new and improved Will Turner that I sported yesterday evening. I gave you a teaser yesterday, but now I’ll give you the other two photos… with a waistcoat and saber, the real deal! Eye-liner, waistcoat, slicked-back hair AND, most importantly, a big frickin’ phallic saber representing my overwhelmingly potent masculinity.
Christ, I think that’s quite enough photos for one day. I’m feeling all self-conscious now. Don’t tell me I messed up the make-up, please girls… my fragile ego just can’t take it.
Tomorrow, assuming the weather gets better, I should have coverage of Eric’s judicious winner-deciding ceremony. It was meant to be today, but it ended up pissing down; Eric doesn’t like rain, y’see…
floreta
Apr 28, 2009
SHUBAN!!!
I like the phallic saber.
I have never tried swordplay when bellydancing. I want to. Sexy.
And then, there’s swords and knives in martial arts too.
Mmmm.
Yes eyeliner on guys is rather hot. HAHA. I love how that’s why you wear it.. bcos of girl’s opinions..
jen - tsk
Apr 28, 2009
Do you have photographic evidence of the tutu??
sunbug
Apr 28, 2009
And I was hoping for a Dread Pirate Roberts
a la Inigo Montoya of course :p
pinkjellybaby
Apr 28, 2009
Haha yes, I’m with Jen…tutu picture please!
And why don’t you have the hat on? Hats are HOT!
You could have put a bit more eyeliner on…you know on the water line IN your eye…next time just go for it with the make-up.
Monobrow. Pluck It. Now.
Jo
Apr 28, 2009
I think you are just excessively gorgeous!
shuping
Apr 28, 2009
M.A.C eyeliner is one of the best around.
andhari
Apr 28, 2009
Smart guy, pirates are always one of the top 5 of female’s fantasies. You should do firemen next time. I might say things I’m not even supposed to say in front of my mom.
pinkjellybaby
Apr 28, 2009
Ohhh yes, with Andhari on the fireman…but in their suits with the shiny buttons and the foxy hats…or, just like this: http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m309/kalita81_2006/firefighters.jpg
Chele
Apr 28, 2009
the second outfit one is def my favorite
sebastian
Apr 28, 2009
Unfortunately, I don’t have the figure or the inclination to do a fireman… or a policeman! Of course, there are tutu photos, but those are for the ‘Kinda Girly Dress-Up Special’.
That’s the one I use, Shuping.
You know, I could do a good Inigo Montoya… I can do the accent, and I’m kinda… rugged enough to pull it off. I’d need some contact lenses though, because I’m not sure you can wear glasses over that leather mask…
Abi
Apr 28, 2009
I like the way you have clearly been adding to the pirate persona as you go. And I have actually had an ex steal mine!!.
Abi
Apr 28, 2009
eyeliner I mean.
sebastian
Apr 28, 2009
Stealing a pirate would be all sorts of ironic.
Hezabelle
Apr 28, 2009
Nice sword.
I had a poster of Orli on my wall… I loved him since Legolas. Hmm, that might be a good idea for next week….
Jossie Posie
Apr 28, 2009
I am not sure how I feel about this whole pirate look…I think I need some time to process it.
Mishi
Apr 28, 2009
You dressed like a pirate – multiple times! That made me giggle a lot. I love the pirate face you’re making in these photos, too. Although, to be truthful – I can’t actually tell that you’re wearing eyeliner.
Hannah
Apr 28, 2009
lovin’ the guyliner. and #2 is the best…I think it’s the facial hair. You should def go back to wearing it like that.
sebastian
Apr 28, 2009
It’s not heavy eyeliner… Just enough to make my eyes look suitably emo and intense. Look at the last two photos though, the guy-liner is obvious!
Hannah, it’s certainly a specific subset of girls that dig the intense look that that particular beard grants me. A subset of girls that I happen to like a lot.
Hannah
Apr 28, 2009
I’m curious…what subset is that?
jen
Apr 28, 2009
I felt the urge to comment on that beautiful avatar that would appear to belong to Andhari – what a lovely little thing!! Looks so much like her! (hehe), kinda makes me want to do away with the photo!! What time in the AM do I need to start chanting “Eric, Eric, Eric”?? x
Sarah
Apr 28, 2009
haha I wouldn’t make fun of your eye makeup– I think you did a much better job than I do.
And not to continue previous-post conversations or anything, but I’m at least three classes of geek/dork. I guess that goes against the whole idea of classifying, if I can’t classify into one, but I’m just a triple-threat geek. The computer geek girl examples (web site for your dad’s business, illegal microsoft office for your work computer) were two things I’ve actually done. So definitely computer geek. And video game geek. I asked for a playstation when I graduated from college, and I’m obsessed with the quality-retro N64 games. can’t help it.
…and yes, a knit geek. I think that counts as a geek classify? It’s an up and coming.
Anyway… back to the present… The pirate outfits are superb. I think you should do it once a year, at least. Create a holiday.
sebastian
Apr 28, 2009
It’s finally sunny outside, Jen, so I might be able to do the Eric thing tomorrow, but it’s still very wet outside, and paper has a habit of like… going all nasty when it gets wet.
Sarah, it already exists: Talk Like A Pirate Day! http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
Most people just don plastic parrots and go around shouting ‘Yarrr!’, but I could take it one step further and do the eye-liner too. I’m not sure if you’re allowed to carry around big, shiny sabers in public, mind you…
What’s your favourite Zelda game then, Sarah?
Jossie Posie
Apr 28, 2009
I think I like the second look best, I am not sure why, its just my preference.
sebastian
Apr 28, 2009
All the real women do…
Jossie Posie
Apr 28, 2009
which one do the fake women prefer…
the girl in stiletto
Apr 28, 2009
ya sexy thing! can you re-live the second photo again? you looked hot. that long hair.
sebastian
Apr 29, 2009
I’ve decided I’ll grow my hair out a bit longer again. And I’ll try to re-create the beard in that second photo… shouldn’t be too hard…!
Eleni
Apr 29, 2009
Confession: I had an Orlando Bloom phase. I’ve never been a girl to plaster posters of a guy all over her wall, but I did have an Orlando Bloom calendar which I rather liked.
One must be wary of glorifying pirates these days in light of recent events, but I rather like the Pirates of the Caribbean look.
Krystal
Apr 29, 2009
great blog yo!
i love the photography..
Ambles
Apr 29, 2009
Aw, you’re so cute
sebastian
Apr 29, 2009
Maybe over in the USA where you’re all shit-scared of the RIAA and MPAA, Eleni, but over here we REVEL in our piracy! It seems the EU will continue to be quite a bastion against cruel and unusual punishment from lobbying groups.
I guess it helps that there isn’t actually any law-breaking going on, just the two AAs going around and stomping on fingers.
You know, I would’ve had you down as an Orlando girl. Also, the cute girly-boys in Firefly and Buffy. Did you say ‘Awww, who’s a little fluffy, misunderstood werewolf boy then?’ to Seth Green?
Thanks, Ambles
Eric
Apr 29, 2009
Straighten that mustache out next time you decide to grow it and you’ll have an anchor.
sebastian
Apr 29, 2009
I’ve wanted to grow out the moustache bit into a proper horse-shoe for a while… But it takes like… YEARS to grow it away from the lip.
The fact that it looks like an anchor is probably why both Bloom and Depp wear it in the film! Genius, Eric!
Eleni
Apr 29, 2009
Uh, that’s definitely not the kind of piracy I was referring to… I have connections to Underhill, Vermont, so I guess I’ve had Captain Richard Phillips on my mind.
No, I wasn’t ever into Seth Green, though I kind of adore him now for his cameos in such geek fare as Mass Effect, Heroes, and the “White and Nerdy” music video. But I did rather like Simon on Firefly.