Time-Travel Thursday: After the first crush but before my first long-term girlfriend
This follows on from last week’s entry where I told the sad story of my first adult crush. This story picks up from about 2 months before my first long-term girlfriend, and is a lot more fun than the story of my crush. You probably don’t know what I looked like back then, so I’ll start with a photo taken in the summer of 2004, a couple of months after this particular story. Don’t be hating the sunglasses; they weren’t mine. Other people’s sunglasses tend to gravitate towards me because I look quite cool — I don’t own a single pair!
It was February. It was cold and rainy. But this was university! And we were young! Weather is so unimportant when you’re young, dumb and full of cu– Anyway, I digress. The point is, at university, no matter the time of year, girls wear almost nothing. As one of the biggest fans of girly-girls — I love dresses, skirts, frills and strappy tops and PINK — university became 3 years of pleasure. 3 years of sitting in one of the main squares and skirt-watching. My best friend and I actually used to go and park up outside a local sixth-form college (16-18 year olds, for the non-Brits) and girl watch.
(Is that lecherous or fairly healthy behaviour for men? Don’t answer that one, I’d rather not know.)
I love skirts. They don’t even have to be short, though it obviously helps my crippled male imagination if they are. For me, it’s all about the flowery flowy flounciness that comes with cute and light clothing. A long, prettily-patterned summer dress can be as attractive as a mini-skirt. If you boil it right down, men love skirts because of the ease of access. I’ve actually lifted the skirts of a girlfriend’s dress over her head so that she couldn’t see and then… done things to her that I shan’t repeat here. That was hot.
So, that’s lesson number one: if you want to get into my pants, try wearing a skirt. Those militant jeans-wearers aren’t completely out of the running, they just better be damn awesome jeans — or a mighty fine figure better be eye-poppingly obvious through examination of your denim exoskeleton.
Lesson number two is: if a drunk girl in a short skirt asks you to carry her home, unequivocally and without allowing your brain a moment’s thought, say yes. Read my journal entry from 2004, and I’ll carry on where it left off.
Chivalry, huh, my arse… — February 2004
Well, that’s the last time I carry a girl from the Underground [the university's main night club] to her house… about 500 meters.
All because she was hideously drunk, all over me, offering sexual favours of all sorts and wearing a rather pretty, short, hot-pink skirt.
Ho hum.
Thank God for honour and chivalry, eh?
And to top it all off, she had 4 friends staying over for the weekend. 4 very drunk friends…
Anyway, starting from the beginning… Marc and I decided to go out and have fun. We’re fast becoming going-out buddies. We thought we’d just go out, look cool… see what happens, that kind of thing. We get to the bar. Order our drinks. Strike a pose. Watch the women go by… Becki, Marc’s crush from last week is there… She doesn’t even make eye-contact with him. She’s obviously playing hard to get…
So, insert a brief foray into Mondo [a smaller nightclub], and then an extended stay in the Underground and you pretty much have my night, wrapped up in a nutshell.
But you’d have to gloss over the stagger back to the South Courts [her house], and the party that ensued, with Marc, the five girls (Becki and her friends) and I. Mad, I tell you.
Luckily they were drunk, really. Otherwise I might have done something I’d regret.
I mean, they all changed into their pajamas. At the same time.
…
First, I should explain the difficulties of carrying a girl in a short skirt. There’s simply no where to put your second hand. So, on her pert ass it goes. Hell, she didn’t seem to mind, and neither did I. I dragged out those 500 meters to her house by walking very, very slowly. For the record, that’s as close as I’ve ever come to abusing a drunken girl. I hope she wasn’t that drunk actually, as we did have a bit of a ‘moment’, with her there in my arms, blearily looking up into my eyes, my nervous, sweaty hand on her buttock. Anyway…
Secondly, and this is where it gets a bit messy (try to keep track!): Becki was the best friend of the girl that would soon become my first long-term girlfriend. I actually got close to Becki before I later got close to my soon-to-be girlfriend. In fact, I might have ended up with Becki, if she hadn’t crushed so hard on Marc, my housemate, and a slew of other beach bums! It was a very complicated 2 months which I don’t remember all the details of (so I shan’t repeat them here, in case I get things wrong), but let’s just say ‘Love Triangle’ doesn’t even begin to describe what was going on. I think, individually, I slept with Becki, my girlfriend-to-be and Marc and there was even some three-way action at one point. It was all a very confusing period, and I’m very happy with how it ended — and how my first proper relationship begun!
That whole mess somehow ended up with me in a happy, healthy relationship that would turn out to last for the rest of my days at university. She wasn’t a geek, but that didn’t stop me from turning her into one. I didn’t want to completely geekify her — I wanted her to continue wearing those tiny skirts and strapless tops. I did manage to get her to dress up, but not as a character from her favourite anime or sci-fi film. Actually, she didn’t like anime at all (phew!) She had a rather awful (you can imagine the grimace on my face…) habit of turning up at my house in just a long coat and lingerie. Damn her.
The rest of that story’s for another day though, next Thursday perhaps!
Please note how I refrained from taking advantage of five (5) girls in the smallest almost-there pyjamas that I’ve ever been fortunate enough to witness. The whole drunken-girls-trying-to-woo-me would be a recurring theme throughout university. If only the sober ones had tried…
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Related posts:
- Time-Travel Thursday: My first girlfriend
- Time-Travel Thursday: My first adult crush
- Shared accomodation is great until your housemate’s mother watches you screw your girlfriend
I only had that much fun for the second half of my first year at uni.
The first half I was with a twit. The second year I was ill. The third year I was just trying not to run away screaming.
But that half a year was very very fun. I had 6 years of being in a relationship (from 13 to 19) to make up for and MAN did I make up for it…with some very hot men.
Oh and i’m pretty sure at the time my favourite thing to wear was a teeny tiny bright yellow skirt…
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 am…and a really reall small childs Pikachu t-shirt as well for some reason
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:59 amRight… a girl has to wear a specific outfit to get into your pants… I am so sure.
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:15 amYeaaaaaah my specification would be ridiculously hot looking guy with defined toned body..throw in a sexy accent, probably dreamy eyes and it’ll be party in his pantalones nah mean hahaha..
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 amThis is why I know I should have gone to uni
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 amA girl doesn’t have to wear a specific outfit… but I am certainly picky about who I go for. I would be unlikely to find a girl in a big, baggy t-shirt and oversized jeans attractive? I don’t think that’s so weird…
Much like I wouldn’t expect a girl to find ME attractive if I didn’t wash my hair and wore a dirty, geek-stained t-shirt!
I wonder what university is like in Jakarta, Andhari. Is it like… Hollywood films, where every student is beautifully dressed in designer clothes? At the posh schools maybe? Or is it all very cute uniforms, like Japanese school girls…?
You missed out, Chele. But somehow, given your history, I don’t think you’ve ‘missed out’ on what university has to offer. Other than maybe the kebabs-at-3am-with-your-best-drunken-friends.
Pink — I know I say this a lot, but… you can’t make claims like that without photographic evidence. Preferably photos taken by someone shorter than you, like… a child.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:52 amI knew you would say that, so I actually had a look for a picture… I’ll give you the best I could find (I think I was actually only 16 in this picture, and I got a bit hotter a few years later) but I’ll try and dig out a better one when i’m back home next week (although I think I was too drunk at the time to worry about taking pictures):
http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/1aPasdA-AcP3LgJV21NuKw?feat=directlink
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:10 pmWoah.
This is where I usually say ‘Holy shit, you were HOT!’ but then, being female, you say ‘You mean I’m not hot now?!’
So let’s just say… ‘you’re hot’. Nice and safe present tense.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 pmhaha
it’s ok, i’m more likely to tell you off for the fact that I was ONLY 16…
I used to be way hotter than I am now, it’s ok…I’ve accepted that fact!
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 pmNo, but, like… really hot.
Having said that, the girl that I carried, the one with the impossibly short skirt and the ass — ohh, the ass — was almost as cute as you. Almost.
You’re still pretty cute for someone on the wrinkly end of 20!
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:19 pmThanks, I was. Sadly, I didn’t know it then.
I think I will take that compliment and bow out of these comments gracefully (and pretend I didn’t see the word ‘wrinkly’)
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 pmWee bit creepy that you’d sit outside a school to watch the underagers. But maybe you don’t have a 15 year old sister.
Here’s the rule for drunk chicks: They say: “let’s fuck.”
You say: “No.”
They say: “Let’s fuck.”
You say: “No.”
They say: “Let’s fuck.”
You say: “Sure.” And you’re golden.
It’s happened to me. And you’ll be happy to know that was the pseudo-start of a somewhat long, slightly demented pseudo-relationship. That ended messily. So what’s there to worry about?
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:18 pmIs that what counts as ‘plausible deniability’ or ‘good faith’ in America…? Three strikes and you’re, hah, IN?
I have a 19 year old sister that provided a very long stream of 16 year olds when I was 21. A 5 year gap is just about right. When I was 21, anyway. No younger. Really.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:25 pmI call it a good effort. “I tried to resist you, but you were too damn pretty, all slurring and falling over yourself.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:20 pmI used to go to a school like that, everyone in designer clothes. No not actually, we wear uniforms but then people have everything else designer but then I’m accepted to this law school where the smartest kids are..and they don’t, you know, exactly dress like that. Varied people.
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:21 pmyou’ve interesting love lives!
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 pmlingerie and long coat is hot. was it you that planted that idea for me? i think so. haha.
so chivalrous of you to not take TOO much advantage of a drunken girl
though touching the ass was a nice treat i bet! i wouldn’t mind either.
I am just giving you a hard time as always… but you wouldn’t be the first person to completely miss my dry sense of humor!
And I’m glad you don’t think wearing a giant Star Wars t-shirt is going to impress anyone. Although… I don’t know, I kind of like the geeky look! Done right though, like anything…
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:17 pmI think, Floreta, that most of her moves probably came from Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City and girly mags. There was even the ‘wake up blowjob’. University was very fun. At least I never even hinted to her turning up in just a coat and underwear… Maybe she just knew me too well!
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:24 pmThe sunglasses are sexy!
or other things I should say.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 pmSo short pink skirts are the way to your heart
I’m sure you were really upset when she turned up in the lingerie and trenchcoat
University was always a blast for me. Lots of fun.
I’ll put together a compilation of sunglasses photos just for you.
I don’t tend to do the whole ‘casual sex’ thing, so a short skirt would indeed be the way to my heart — I don’t appreciate the sleazy connotations…!
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 pm“I didn’t want to completely geekify her — I wanted her to continue wearing those tiny skirts and strapless tops.”
Seb, geek girls wear hot skirts too, trust me. There are many different breeds of geek.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:23 amI am well aware of that, dear Hez. But it’s a well-known fact that geeks tend to take less care of their personal appearance. Normally because they are too interested in something else to worry about something pointless and vain.
A girl that parties is more likely to dress up in tiny skirts and strapless tops!
April 24th, 2009 at 11:13 amI guess that all depends on whether you think looking nice is pointless and vain.
What about geeks that party?
My geek friends are hot geek friends.
April 24th, 2009 at 4:51 pmSo you have a weakness for a girl in skirts…its a good thing you don’t live closer to me Seb
April 26th, 2009 at 3:57 pmYou don’t need to remind me of that, Jossie… Every time you post a few pictures of yourself, I have to bite my arm and tell myself that you’re 5000 miles away and like, totally taken by some legless pirate.
April 26th, 2009 at 4:05 pmTrust me he’s not legless.
April 26th, 2009 at 6:51 pm