This week, on my epic travel through time — or, as the case may be, LiveJournal — I’ve tried to piece together a few fragments of my first relationship.

I was young (well, eighteen is youngish, right?) OK, fine, not young… but sexually immature and unawakened!

As with most girls that later became my girlfriend, she hit on me. As I’ve alluded to in the past, I’m not all that confident when it comes to actually making a girl mine. I’m good with the banter, the outrageous flirtation and the extended, torturous eye-contact. And then… I clam up; sweaty, shaky, nervous.

We’re walking out of the pub, or club, or cinema, or friend’s house. We’re outside: if she turns one way, she’s coming back to my place; if she goes the other… I go home alone, again. She stops and looks up at me. I stop and look down at her.

‘So…’ There’s a certain amount of nervous shuffling. She looks into my eyes, and then down at the ground. Shuffle, shuffle.

‘See you around?’ I stupidly walk away, alone.

That same scene has been repeated throughout school, college and even university. To this day, every girl I’ve dated has ‘made the first move’. I just don’t have the balls. Anyway… (contemplative pause)

I’m feeling all squishy and exposed. I better get on with the actual purpose of this post: my first girlfriend.

The following is an entry from her journal.

Sunday, Sunday… — August 11th, 2003

Was far too sleepy to write last night! Had a busy day *grins*

I was supposed to go to a garden party, but it finished earlier than expected so I didn’t go in the end. But, instead, I went round a “friend’s” *glances at Seb*!

Watched some of the earliest series of Malcolm in the Middle and then I managed to drag him into the pool at about 9.30, it was freezing but soooo worth it, it was very…. exhilarating!

I had a really goooood night, was lots of fun!

Anyway… back to today… Monday!

And now, the entry I made on the same day, about an hour later:

*rubs eyes* — August 11th, 2003

So very, very tired.

But what a night.

TV-watching, canoodling, late-night swimming pool romps, a bit more canoodling.

I must say, I’m quite enjoying this.

I don’t think I’d be able to wake up at 7:30am, not after tonight…

Time for some music, chatter and maybe a TV episode or two…

That was a fantastic night.

A little analysis/back story: Malcolm in the Middle! I obviously noticed very early on that comedy was the best way to a woman’s heart. I am also eternally grateful that I have a heated swimming pool — without it, I might never have ‘got the girl’. If I hadn’t got the girl… well, I think my life at university would’ve been very different indeed. It was this first little success that fuelled my future relationships. In fact, it was buoyed up from the confidence of this relationship that, when the next girl invited me back to her place, I accepted. That was the girl that turned out to be a lesbian.

The first girl dumped me for a guy with a car and who shared her love of anime (which is, incidentally, why I hate anime — now you know!)

Next week, on Time-Travel Thursday… before the first girlfriend — my first, adult crush.

LAN parties are awesome and clubbing is crap
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I am a tall, hairy, British writer who blogs about technology, photography, travel, and whatever else catches my eye.