Why geek GIRLS are awesome
Here I stand on the precipice of a yawning chasm. I’m about to jump off the metaphorical edge and leap to my death. Will I be reborn a pariah of the geek community, or will I be forgotten like so many other dweebs that didn’t quite get it right?
Today I will address a topic that’s a little taboo. A topic that’s sat neatly just outside the periphery of popular culture. Star Trek and comics. Video games and roleplaying. The Big Bang Theory and Hackers. Geek chic is finally here — it’s cool to be a geek — but only for the boys. The geek girls are there, but they’re hiding, quietly biding their time. I’m not talking about those exhibitionist thrill-seeking cosplay geek girls that are obviously very much ‘out there’, I’m talking about the female equivalent of basement-dwelling male geeks. The female roleplayers, the non-bearded types that can speak Klingon or Quenya.
This guide would not have been possible without Heather and Eleni, both exemplar geek girls from the blogosphere. I’d also like to thank my platonic, real-life relationships with geeky girls for giving me an insight into how the female geek mind works.
Girl geeks exist, they’re multiplying, they’re becoming bolder and they have a plan.
Why geek girls are absolutely the best thing on this planet
Except for a younger Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, geek girls are possibly the fairest of God’s children. When he wet his hands and fashioned the clay mold that would be used to create geek girls, he sat back with a content sigh and took a day off to celebrate such perfection.
I’m not talking about the freaky faux geek girls that are exhibitionists appealing to and feeding upon the weak and wimpy male geek populace. While geek girls might not be overflowing with confidence — much like their male counterparts — what they don’t have in brawn and balls they make up for with kindness. Geek girls are incredibly understanding. As I covered in my previous articles, geeks are interested instead of interesting. They are more interested in your well being than their own. It’s this basic trait which explains most geek behaviour (and one I will talk about in a future entry).
Live and let live
A geek girl, much like a geeky guy, is interested in whatever you want to share. In other words, geek girls aren’t clingy or needy. Geek girls have more important things to worry about than who you hung out with tonight, or if another girl was present. A geek girl would expect you to be interested in which game she’s playing, and which love interest she went for — the calloused, vile dwarf or the strapping, brave paladin.
Geek girls make great friends
Girls in general tend to have more of a ‘’social nature’ than boys. Couple this with their geeky tendencies and not only will a geek girl make a good girlfriend, she’ll be a good friend.
As an added bonus, if you get one of those geeky girls with real life girlfriends (as opposed to virtual ones, which they’ll have quite a few of), be prepared (and pleasantly surprised) to come home on a Friday night and find a bunch of girls in pyjamas watching old episodes of Buffy or Firefly. Or open your bedroom door and look out, if you’re not the going-out kind of geek…
Perhaps most importantly, a geek girl appreciates your foibles and rolls with it (she has issues too!) She’ll probably even learn to love your cuter oddities and gently encourage you to fix the creepy ones — like, really, stop collecting your toenail clippings and cease archiving your Lindsay Lohan newspaper clippings.
In many relationships, the partners are completely disinterested in one another’s work or pastimes — not so with geeky relationships! — in theory, a geeky couple could probably avoid ever going out and meeting other people, or making new friends because they get everything they need from their friend and partner. In fact, that’s what a lot of geeky couples do…
Geek girls are exceptionally, um, interesting in the bedroom
If you’re a geeky guy, imagine all of the depraved things you’ve thought about doing to a girl. Dressing her up in a Japanese school-girl outfit. Princess Leia roleplay. Chewbacca roleplay. Cosplaying a 12 year old from some anime series.
Now… make sure you’re seated comfortably and your clothing is loosened… geek girls will let you do it. Of course, some might not let you penetrate them with prosthetic tentacles, candles or cucumbers (hentai…) but chances are, a geek girl is quite happy to go along with your weird, freaky fantasies because she’s fantasised about them too. The flip-side is of course (and most would say this is a good caveat) that you should be prepared to dress up as Han Solo or Jabba the Hut. And you should have a big, shiny lightsaber. With lots of battery power.
Previously mundane tasks can be steamily hot with a geek girl
Imagine organising your comics; with a girl sitting on your lap, bouncing. You could be cooking dinner, and she’ll crawl into the kitchen, grovelling before her slave driver, begging for her next meal. How about, every time she kills you in a video game, you owe her an orgasm? And vice versa. Button bashing has never been so romantic.
I’m not sure if Wii Fit calculates the calories burnt off during sex, but it’s worth a shot, right? Maybe that Wiimote controller fits… no, never mind, that’s a nasty, sacriligious thought. Don’t leave me, Princess Zelda, I didn’t mean it! Wait, it has a vibration function…
Great value for money
I almost went with ‘geek girls are cheap’ but I figured that might’ve been misinterpreted, even if it’s true. Unlike their vain, materialistic boring sisters, geek girls put an equal value on virtual and real goods. To a geek girl, a redesign of her website is more romantic than a box of chocolates. An animated e-card featuring your own awful singing voice is infinitely more sexy and loving than a bunch of flowers. Why take her out for dinner when you could stay home, order some Chinese food and serenade her with a new Guitar Hero song you’ve been practicing? Cheap AND infinitely more intimate.
A physical representation of love still goes a long way with geeky girls, but it’s certainly cheaper and more fun to please a geeky girl than a normal one. A signed first-edition Neil Gaiman book (and accompanying audio CD) will go a lot further than some jewellery… and you can read it too! She might give you odd looks if she catches you trying on her jewellery.
Finally, geek girls are really damn keen
Though shy and unassuming in real life, it’s very easy to get ‘in’ with a geek girl: rapid-fire email, seedy instant messaging or a romantic forum war — it’s all good!. She’s probably not going to walk up to you and suggest you go out for a drink somewhere — that’s just not how geeks operate — but chances are she’s incredibly eager to hook up.
Geek girls have probably spent the last few years dating the standard jocks: the sporty types, the guys that are only interested in her looks, the men that think it’s OK to date her and kiss other girls. With that avenue exhausted, geek girls are looking for geek guys. In fact, a geek girl will probably leap at the opportunity to date a geek guy — it’s a marriage made in heaven, and they know that — so they’ll probably make it really easy for you. They’ll do what every guy loves, the holy grail of boy/girl courting: they’ll make it obvious that they like you.
Thanks for reading! Perhaps, if you’re a geeky girl trying to attract a particuarly stubborn guy, send him a link to this page. If you’re a guy reading this, and you’re still single… what’re you waiting for?! Go and buy some tickets to the new Star Trek movie, equip some long, pointy plastic ears and see what happens!
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wait, there’s a new star trek movie?
hm.
best line: And you should have a big, shiny lightsaber. With lots of battery power.
HELLyeah!
i think the most that i can relate to is: geek girls are cheap (ha).. i am a cheap date. i don’t drink much alcohol. i don’t like flowers or diamonds and the usual jewelry crap. a gift that’s some sort of cheesy inside joke is infinitely better than some generic crap.. and all those things you mentioned as gifts.. i agree are better. yes, including redesign of website. ha.
April 27th, 2009 at 7:40 amRight, it’s “leap”, not “leep”!
I actually do relate to a lot of the “geeky girl” qualities, even though I don’t really do geeky girl things… or even necessarily know what those things are…
Oh well, I guess I will just have to make up my own category called “oddballs” or “weirdos”…
Which reminds me, I was going to write a blog response to someone’s search for “Reasons to date a weirdo”… I should really get on that!
April 27th, 2009 at 7:41 amYES!
Awesome, Seb.
April 27th, 2009 at 7:59 am“stay home, order some Chinese food and serenade her with a new Guitar Hero song you’ve been practicing” – there are men that do this? where? I must find them. Actually if you can find someone who will substitute “serenade with Guitar Hero” to “let’s Hannah win at Mario Kart” it would be even better. But I would settle for Guitar Hero and Chinese…I’m still not convinced such a man exists.
April 27th, 2009 at 8:06 amI love geeks
April 27th, 2009 at 8:27 am…I don’t think I’m enough of a geek for you Mr Seb…that’s sad…
April 27th, 2009 at 9:41 am….I will never crawl into the kitchen and beg my slave-driver for my next meal.
However, feel free to grovel at my feet all you like. You should know though – if you annoy me I WILL whip you.
You make geek girls sound like pliable walkovers, not sure how much I like that. “Hey I think I left something in your computer room last night – I think it was my integrity.”
April 27th, 2009 at 11:25 amI can make my own jewellery. Give me a signed Neil Gaiman first edition and well… (I’ll leave it up to your imagination). But let’s put it this way, few things in my world are better than things that involve books and the sheer sexiness that is Neil.
Chocolates are vastly overrated as a gift too, it’s what happens when you’re not sure what to get someone, and as such, isn’t particularly personal (unless this person is a huge fan of 70% dark Godiva truffles or something). Good gifts include books, Buffy DVD’s, Xena DVD’s, anything Neil Gaiman, most things Tolkien, and word games (there are many more things but it’s cold here and my fingers don’t want to type anymore).
*drool*
April 27th, 2009 at 11:58 am*wipes up Amy’s drool* Really now… Best not leave things up to my imagination. Especially when you have some kind of many-tentacled Cthuloid beastie for an avatar. Mmm.
I think, Kali, you read too much into that one line. Geek girls are just as likely to be feminists as not. Some will be bra-burning baggy t-shirt wearing ‘omg, treat me like the other boy gamers!’, while others will very much be feminine (Whether that’s a bad thing or not depends on your point of view, I guess).
I don’t think geek girls are walk-overs, but they’re probably not argumentative for the sake of being argumentative like some girls that are used to getting everything their own way. Heck, male geeks are probably more of a walk-over than girl geeks, by virtue of being persecuted for the last 20 years or so. Male geeks believe they have almost no desirable traits. Girls can always fall back on their boobs, no matter their denomination!
Talking of walk-overs… I’d let you beat me at Mario Kart any day, Hannah. And rub your feet. And bring you breakfast in bed. (See, Kali, it’s just geeks, we’re all pretty submissive, except for you…)
You’re very much a geek, Ambles.
I need someone to take to the new Star Trek movie. Can anyone be in South England for its release next week?
April 27th, 2009 at 1:50 pmDepending on the day, I actually could be! Although I’ve never been one for Star Trek if I’m honest!
April 27th, 2009 at 1:53 pmAw, come on, it has like… a huge range of pretty boys starring in it AND Simon Pegg!
April 27th, 2009 at 1:56 pmAlso it’s on 100% on RT – http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_11/ – and is meant to be freakin incredible. I’m not a TV Trekkie but I will DEFINITELY be seeing this movie.
April 27th, 2009 at 1:57 pmI forgot to say…but after seeing who is in it, I’m tempted!
April 27th, 2009 at 1:57 pmDid you hear about the ’surprise screening’? Utterly awesome: http://trekmovie.com/2009/04/06/austin-tx-fans-given-surprise-showing-of-entire-star-trek-movie/
It’s going to be good, Pink, even for pretty non-geeks like yourself
April 27th, 2009 at 2:10 pmIt’s pretty much a great post, knowing I’m not even half a geek in the first place. Unless you think reality television is geeky. Haha.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:17 pmHm… I think you have a few geeky traits, but probably only when no one’s looking, or only with your closest friends.
You can be a ‘dress geek’ too…!
April 27th, 2009 at 2:21 pmI’ve recently taken to calling myself a Lipstick Geek. One of the more feminine geeks… Though, I do sort of doubt my geekiness at times… But then I remember that I generally carry my (white) DS with me, I hacked out my netbook, and I play euphonium in a community band (which makes me more of a band nerd, but there’s overlap).
I think if a guy offered to redesign my website I’d be offended. If he offered to teach me a new coding and programming language that would have application to my website, then I’d be okay with that. But I couldn’t sit idly by while he tinkers in my code.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:58 pmHow did I not know Simon Pegg was going to be in it?!
I’ll be there!
Oh no, wait, I can’t…
Thanks for calling me a geek, though
April 27th, 2009 at 3:21 pmI’d let you take me to the cinema…but only if you got me a really big popcorn…
April 27th, 2009 at 3:23 pmWith a hole cut into the bottom… you got it.
Sounds like you got some denial going on there, Rini. But hey, I think it’s good that some geek girls are trying to live normal lives, out and about, high-heels, lipstick and all!
You could always tell a possible suitor to design you a website, and then only agree to go out with him if it passes the ‘good XHTML’ testing suite.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:27 pmhow presumptuous
April 27th, 2009 at 3:38 pmI don’t do the heels that often — not good for working in a research lab, so some women do… but I do admit, it’s always fun to do troubleshooting or even just changing the scanhead on one of our microscopes while wearing a skirt.
Maybe that’s what I should do for my second date… see if he can construct a proper, and aesthetically decent, website… though, well, he’s a writer boy… so I don’t know how much web design he can do…
April 27th, 2009 at 3:40 pmSeb I loved this. I read it with a big smile on my face. I don’t really know what else to say except you captured geek girls perfectly.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:55 pm*bows low*
What to turn my excellent observation skills to next..?!
A photo of you cosplaying would go a long way to show your appreciation, by the way.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:59 pmWell I think that is a mighty hefty show of appreciation on my part for one teeny tiny blog post…I could maybe, be persuaded
April 27th, 2009 at 4:07 pmAh come on, this blog took weeks of thought to complete properly!
Plus, you know as well as I that cute geek girls need very little persuasion…
April 27th, 2009 at 4:11 pmI am a friend of Hez’s that wandered to here through her post.
Thought I’d say in response to this post that my boyfriend and I fell in love over excitedly anticipating The Dark Knight, sending each other every single screen shot we found of the then up-and-coming Fable II (and then giving each other a task to draw what we want our OWN Fable characters to look like when the game was released), cuddling in his lap while I watched him play hours of Assassin’s Creed or The Force Unleashed…. and then skipping the cuddling to instead kick his ass in Grand Theft Auto or Guitar Hero.
I have a life size and usable wooden Zelda shield and master sword my brother made me. And an unfinished Princess Zelda my costume designer mom is making me so I can wear it for Halloween (and…. the rest of the 364 days of the year). I just have to convince him to be Link, although we’re also considering Harley Quinn/Joker or Sweeney Todd/Mrs. Lovett for this year’s Halloween as well.
For my birthday, he drew me Harley Quinn and Jack Sparrow, for his birthday I drew him Link and Zelda. Our XBOX avatar’s have elf ears. We have every single gaming system in our living room. We’ve combined our comic collection. We sometimes have cartwheel tournaments in the living room. We have conversations about which super power we’d want and what we’d do if there was a zombie invasion. A single penny doesn’t need to be spent for us to appreciate each other.
So for those of you who may be suspicious about the authenticity of everything said in this post and Hezabelle’s post – it’s absolutely true. Geeks are where it’s at.
And if you don’t believe me, go download the song “Geeks in Love” by Lemon Demon. So good.
April 27th, 2009 at 4:13 pmIf that’s not a sappy tale of true, unbridled geeky love I don’t know what is… Lovely, thanks for sharing, and for confirming my suspicions of what a geek-on-geek relationship would be like.
You should probably have some kind of collaborative blog with some adorably geeky name like… ‘Link and Zelda: Heaven on Earth’… or something.
You’re also both even geekier than me, kudos
April 27th, 2009 at 4:26 pmHaha, well we do, in fact, have a combined blog…. but we went the sappier route and named it after a song from the only CD we had in the CD player when we first started dating, that we would just listen to on repeat. But then we counteracted that sappiness by talking about his WoW character and my Oblivion character within the first few posts.
That being said, I swear we’re also socially adept geeks, though. Despite our ultimate nerdiness, we can function in society too. Haha.
And then of course there’s the geekiness of Hez and I…. so geek best friends are also where it’s at.
April 27th, 2009 at 4:50 pmClearly I just need to leave Fresno. Because I am totally a geek girl (maybe not of the gaming sort but in my own way) and I totally tell guys when I’m interested in them, and it never works out.
Just saying.
April 27th, 2009 at 5:18 pmhahaha hilarious.
I think, though, that there are different breeds of geek girl. that’s right, different breeds. See, you’re right– it is extremely chic to be the girl geek. so chic, that it’s spread and developed. the evolution produced different species
video game geek– can kick your ass in halo and laughs when you sing the wrong tune to mario kart 64. quick, skilled gamer hands…
computer geek– can get you the microsoft office suite for your office– illegally– and will build a web site for your dad’s business in a weekend. can photoshop you into a picture with your favorite sports hero. fast typing fingers…
anime geek– i think your school girl outfit summed this up.
fantasy world geek– here’s the star wars/ star trek geek– is princess leia every halloween, and you’re ok with that. this type of geek has many species in and of it self; world or warcraft; lord of the rings, etc. also most likely to be interested in role-play cards games.
see what I mean?
April 27th, 2009 at 5:33 pmYou know, Sarah, I almost broke it down into different kinds of girl geeks too! I thought I cover most of the bases with this one, and then perhaps look deeper into the mindset of every kind of geek!
I totally agree with your classifications, and they’re all completely different monsters. The same could be said of male geeks though (I’m a video game geek, as opposed to a running-around-the-woods-with-a-foam-sword geek), so I should probably just break down the types of geeks in another entry.
What kind of geek are you? Knitting geek? Does that even exist…?
Handicraft/Earth-saving geek is probably a fair classification…
April 27th, 2009 at 5:40 pmI think I’m just an old fashioned kind of geek… you know more a good in school, reads lots of books, likes fantasy and sci-fi but isn’t that good at computer games…
April 27th, 2009 at 5:43 pmMario Kart, foot massages, AND breakfast in bed? are you trying to make me fall in love with you?
April 27th, 2009 at 6:33 pmGreat post, Seb! I laughed out loud several times (”and they have a plan”, the Wiimote…). I agree with practically everything except the Jabba the Hutt bit (ew). Also, I’d like to say that some jewelry might be much loved by geek girls, such as reproductions of the Evenstar pendant or Nenya. Anyway, I wholeheartedly approve. Nice job.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:24 amHmmm… what kind of geek would I be then? Because I certainly don’t fit into those sort of descriptions.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:28 amYou’d be… an art geek? A bohemian? Geekery is an outlook, a way of life. Interested, rather than interesting! Picking apart a certain topic until you understand it fully. You don’t have to fit a description, really… fitting a template or mold is boring!
The Jabba bit was thrown in for fun, Eleni. Heather’s original list (on her blog today) had ‘A geek girl will be Mrs Lovett for your Sweeney Todd’, and I thought that was so damn weird (but kinda cool), but I didn’t want to rip her off… so I went with Jabba, who I thought was kinda disgusting, but still… some girls might like it, no?
At least, there are always pretty girls hanging on the arms of fat, ugly old men…
I was just teasing you, Hannah. I’d never bring you breakfast in bed.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:16 amouch, that hurts.
April 28th, 2009 at 3:10 amHmmm… I like to think that I am both interested and interesting? Can’t someone be both? Templates/molds are indeed quite boring.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:37 amI can attest to the fact that all of this is true. I am a geek girl, and I am proud.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:38 pmAnd to think I spent all that time and money to hide the fact that I’m a geek girl.
Neil Geiman, Star Wars, Anime, Douglas Coupland, the Sims 2, And role playing… those are a few of my favorite things… Unfortunately, my mother was convinced by the age of 12 that I was a lesbian because I had a mix of photos of Sailor Moon, (Sailor Jupiter was my favorite because we were the same sign, had the same attitude, my favorite color is green, and we looked eerily similar. Floreta- you’re TOTALLY Sailor Murcury, btw)….along with photos of Marilyn Monroe, Princess Leia, and Padme on my walls. To her, I was getting off on girls in little sailor uniforms, and Marilyn just made up for the boobs the anime girls lacked…
This post, Seb, just brought be back to my days where D&D Saturday was all I looked forward to. When instead of sleeping, I was up all night playing MUDD, Major MUDD, and chatting in online RP rooms, being a vampire (before they were Meyer’ized) and living in a different world entirely. Hell- I went to my senior prom dressed as Claudia from Interview With a Vampire…
Now that I’m older, and my life is so boring, steady, and predictable, and now that i have more money than I know what to do with on a daily basis- I think I’ll stop by the store on the way home, pick up some Funyans and Mt. Dew, and go home, set up the desk top, and have a good night of gaming. I’ll even don the packed away Star Wars t shirt and the camouflage sweat pants. I LIVED in those things.
Thanks for the nostalgic walk!
-TB
May 5th, 2009 at 11:13 pmSounds like you’re all grown up… how DULL!
Why did you let things become boring, steady and predictable? Surely you got a job so that you could continue to do COOL things with your life, rather than just… settle down, buy a house, watch TV?
You’re more than welcome, and thanks for sharing. No cosplay, by the way?
*slightly disappointed*
May 5th, 2009 at 11:19 pmNever really got into it- no.
but then, you never saw my prom picture… if you email me, I’ll send you one.
May 5th, 2009 at 11:59 pmIt was pretty hard core.
Damn, I want a nerd chick. But where in hell I get one, here over in Germany? Sebastian, you need to write a guide “how I date geek girls”, or something like that.
May 19th, 2009 at 12:02 pmThat’s the article that still remains unwritten… ‘How to FIND a geek.’
If only it were easy… but even I haven’t worked it out, and I’ve thought about it a lot, trust me
May 19th, 2009 at 1:11 pmThen we should put together somekind of factsheet “What we have for now”.
May 19th, 2009 at 9:54 pmSounds good…
Except, where are these “geek girls” you speak of? the nearest one I’ve met would be on the other side of the world (through IM). I’ve travelled a good way around my county and not seen or heard of one.
Where would they be?
May 31st, 2009 at 11:30 amTo be honest, other than ‘on IM’, I don’t have an exact location for geek girls.
I am still trying to compile a guide on HOW to find them. I’ll be sure to tell you when I finish it… if I manage to
May 31st, 2009 at 12:07 pmIt’s true. I’d much rather have tickets to Video Games Live or Star Wars: In Concert than a diamond — because as a geek I know that the diamond market is artificially inflated, there are ethical issues with mining them, and it’s much cooler when they’re made in a lab…out of human remains!
October 9th, 2009 at 6:42 pmAnd that’s why I go for PLATINUM!
October 9th, 2009 at 6:51 pmWhat a nice article!
I have read so many articles and books explaining what a geek girl is – and it’s usually WAY off. I think you got most of it right, and a few things dead on.
Specifically, the “geek girls are cheap”….For Valentine’s Day one year, we were really broke and I didn’t want to waste money on a fancy dinner or anything – so my geekguy got me Max Brooks’ Zombie Survival Guide and a Voodoo inspired swatch! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a girl and still like the sparklies, which I have received as gifts, but I am also happy just getting some chinese food and rocking out on guitar hero
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and supporting us geek girls
October 9th, 2009 at 7:34 pmYou’re more than welcome! And it’s always nice to hear when I hit the mark on something as important to me as geek girls…
Such a fantastic breed
October 9th, 2009 at 7:51 pm