‘You know, Sebby, you didn’t include the photos from after the Peter Pan show…’
That was my mother, rudely barging into my room. You know, the parental ‘Can I come in?’ manoeuvre, spoken as she opens the door.
Sometimes she takes a while to get to the point, but I already knew where she was going with this one.
‘But mum, I already embarrassed myself enough with the head-in-bowl photo.’
‘Those girls obviously loved you in that doggy outfit, Seb. You have to start thinking about getting a wife, and if that involves dressing up as a dog… I’m sure Moses would turn a blind eye if it meant you could find a nice wife. One that likes doggies.’
And so, through the undeniable power of motherly coercion, I bring you the photos from after the show. Out of the doggy suit and into the emo-kitchen-down-lights that you’re probably all used to by now.
Just remember, this Sunday, that no matter how bad a situation you’re in, how unfortunate circumstances might be, even when it seems like there’s no end to your suffering or sorrow — there’s a guy with pigtails, a blacked-out eye and beard pretending to look like a dog for your benefit.
And that’s Sebby’s Sunday Sermon. Have a nice day!
Amy
May 24, 2009
Oh dear god. I love your mother.
As for the photos, I particularly like that last one.
sebastian
May 24, 2009
The innocent, help-me-I’m-lost look?
Yeah, I don’t do that one very often…
My mother is certainly an acquired taste.
Rica
May 24, 2009
3rd picture = WINNER.
You are too funny.
Art
May 24, 2009
As amazing as the photos are, I’m questioning the how-to-get-a-wife strategy…
sebastian
May 24, 2009
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!
Oh wait, you’re a girl — so you’re not finding yourself strangely, animalistically attracted to me right now?
They’d be lovely little puppies…
Chase
May 24, 2009
tasty.
sebastian
May 24, 2009
Didn’t you read the sign that says ‘Comments under three words are banned on this blog’?
Slacker.
Chown Town
May 24, 2009
All I can think is ‘Wow, that is some precision-bearding you’ve got going on there!’
I love that your mum has come up with a new strategy, she’s probably got some new animal outfits lined up for you as I type:
‘Now Sebby, I thought today you could try being a Panda. It’s alright, I’ve already sourced the outfit in your size – I’ve made sure I’ve noted down your measurements – now where did I put that bamboo…’
Jossie Posie
May 24, 2009
Look at your mom totally trying to get you some
Eleni
May 24, 2009
Aw, who’s a good dog? Are you a good dog? Yes you are! (What is it about cute animals that makes us ask inane rhetorical questions, then answer them?)
You may respond to all semi-sensible comments, but there are no guarantees that the response itself will be sensible
sebastian
May 24, 2009
Well, did it work, Jossie? Are you finding yourself drawn away from the Legless Pirate in my furry, Jewish direction? No? Damn.
I think, Eleni, it’s because animals actually lack the ability to answer back. Just a wild stab in the dark, but, y’know… if dogs could actually talk, or understand our inane questioning, they would either a) disown us or b) bite our leg off. Plus, talking to an animal is not the first sign of madness, unlike talking to yourself…
Semi-sensible comments only get semi-sensible responses. What can I say.
Chown — Eats, shoots, and leaves.
Eleni
May 24, 2009
Well, yes, we have to answer our own rhetorical questions to animals because they cannot answer the questions themselves, but why do we feel the need to ask them in the first place if they can’t understand us? But you’re right, if they could understand us, they would probably disown or bite us.
So you’re promising to respond to all semi-sensible comments, but not all the sensible ones. I assume you prefer the semi-sensible ones because it can be too much of a burden for you to respond sensibly.
sebastian
May 24, 2009
Who’sa cute-wittle-puppy with a bone clamped ‘tween her pearly-white nashers now, eh eh? *tickles*
Keep on shaking it; just don’t flee with your tail between your legs when you finally get a reaction!
Eleni
May 24, 2009
Methinks that was a reaction.
Bone between my nashers, eh? You be careful of yours–I bite hard.
Chown Town
May 24, 2009
Returns, eats, blogs about the shooting, sleeps.
floreta
May 24, 2009
you look different in the middle one.
did your mom really say that??
haha.
well maybe you will find a wife on your blog. you never know
i’d say it’s cutting edge these days.
modern.
the girl in stiletto
May 24, 2009
you look like a girl in the third photo. well, almost. lol. your mom reads your blog? ahahahahahha.
p.s hi seb’s mom!
sebastian
May 24, 2009
She reads it all the time, Stiletto! No secrets between us… well… not many… Only 1 or 2 left I guess, after Thursday’s story…
Post-modern, Floreta? Or just modern?
floreta
May 24, 2009
i considered postmodern
andhari
May 24, 2009
You’re so aint gettin booty.
AHAHAHAHAH.
miss rambles
May 24, 2009
you are tooo cute i jst wanna tug on ya pigtails
also our mums would so get on as mine is all about….why are you still single, you ahve a sell by date find a man already!!
Hezabelle
May 24, 2009
That just made my day. Did she really say that? Find a wife who likes doggies? hehehe.
Jossie Posie
May 25, 2009
Sorry Seb, not quite…maybe step up your game a bit and I’ll consider it.
Pagan Sphinx
May 25, 2009
I’m pondering this transformation. It’s hard to comment, really. I’d better not. After all, I think this is only my fourth or fifth visit. I mean to lurk a bit more, I think….
LiLu
May 25, 2009
Wait.
Moses is blind?
No WONDER he thought a burning bush was God. Sheesh.
pinkjellybaby
May 25, 2009
Yup, erm…not sure if they’re going to get you a wife….
sebastian
May 25, 2009
I guess I need to perfect my sad-pitiful-please-play-with-meeee look.
Or, maybe Pink and Jossie prefer a more… rottweiler’ish approach from their lovers?
I think, Lilu, that Moses is definitely past tense. Was blind. Did once part the sea. Spoke unto my mother (well, on the dead sea scrolls, but it’s open to interpretation) ‘forsooth, verily, doth thou son-of-your-blood bedecked in fluffy canine suit.’
pinkjellybaby
May 25, 2009
I wouldn’t rule anything out…
Muppet
May 26, 2009
I would go to that church.
It’s true. Women love a man in a dog suit. I once chained myself to one and then fell in love.
I want to be friends with the pup on the right. I feel like those pictures are a cosmo test – ‘which man would you choose’. Well, Furry-cosmo.
Melissa
May 26, 2009
Funny!! Aww do you need help finding your owner?
Parents and their bright ideas…Sigh