If you can’t see the audio player, you’ll have to view it on my blog. But it’s only a minute long, and not that exciting, so you can probably skip it, unless you want to hear my impression of a throat-cancer victim.
If you hadn’t gathered already, I’m big and imposing, like two conjoined Pavarotti Siamese twins. I’m a fairly prolific person; I don’t do things on a small scale. When I take photos, I take a lot of photos (and I’m getting quite good — proof below!) When I play games, I play them for hours and hours (immersion is key!) When I write, I write thousands of words; carefully thought-out, heart-felt and well-researched words. The great thing is, no matter what I turn my attention to, I love doing it! There’s a reason excellence is one goal we all strive for: it feels damn good when we finally get there. No one ever feels good after finishing half-assed job, right? But when you put down your paint brush or pencil or microphone and you’ve done good, it feels great!
The problem with typing on this kind of scale is that it causes repetitive strain injury (RSI) in my fingers. You just can’t sit at a desk and type for 12-16 hours a day without repercussions. Fortunately it’s not permanent — yet. Normally I catch it, slowly creeping up: I take a break, go for a walk; stretch my fingers and my lungs (don’t get me started on my cardiac fitness…) Historically, I’ve interspersed my computational orgies with travel, but this year all of my trips have been scuppered! Three of them! Wales, Ireland and Scotland; February, March and April. I hope to make it to Ireland later in the year, but until then, I’m stuck here in front of my computer, sucking on my sore fingers (which is surprisingly soothing, even when you do it yourself).
Can you believe the trip to Wales was cancelled because the incredibly cute girl pulled out at the last minute? Usually that’s my job. After I’d booked some hotels! Man, she had the Welsh accent and all… (Obvious when you think about it, considering she’s from Wales, but still, a wistful sigh is required at this point.)
So today, instead of solid, insightful prose, you get a few pretty photos and some audio tomfoolery. My travel stories are almost up to date (with the huge exception of America), so it’s actually time to write about my most recent trip: Italy! I’ve been wanting to write about it for ages — strike while the iron is hot! — but I’ve been a very good, patient boy and kept to the chronology. I should do America — I owe it to all of you lovely Americans — but after all of the ‘how I blew it with yet another girl’ stories from the last few weeks, I want to write about something else.
You get 3 photos. Two beautiful landscapes and one idiot. If you can correctly identify the odd one out, I’ll give you a cookie.
Florence:
Venice:
Venice again:
Also this month:
- More guest blogs! One of which I am promised will involve indecent exposure; another will be far too intelligent for any of us to understand (damn doctorate students)!
- Why Americans rock! A long-overdue piece that will probably come towards the end of the month.
- Things I don’t like. So far I’ve been fairly fluffy and easy-going; philosophically benevolent, even. Now I’m going to write some slightly more angry entries (in the absence of sex, hitting a keyboard angrily and with gusto is about as good as it gets. Help.)
- And much, much more! How about another ‘Pirate Special‘, but this time… ‘The Animal Special’! Watch this space as Seb gets down right bestial.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
miss rambles
May 8, 2009
is it fair to say pic no2 reminded me of a little something-something or is it too early in the morning for dirty thoughts?!
pinkjellybaby
May 8, 2009
I have a poorly wrist at the moment (I get inflamed ligaments in both wrists sometimes, no idea why) so my typing had been coming out a bit wrong… it’s hard work when you have to keep going back and correcting letters.
It’s always annoyed me that there’s nothing I’m REALLY good at. Well, nothing academic/artistic/musical. I’ve always just been ok at everything… I’d rather be wonderful at something and crap at the rest…. *sigh*
Abi
May 8, 2009
I worry about my hands you know. After long periods on the keyboard they often don’t move as fast as I want them to so playing music is difficult.. not to mention some misjudged fumbles with needles and pins whilst I work. I might have to consider training my feet lest I loose all ability by the time I am 30.
Amazing photos by the way. I am guessing you did not plan to take the selfie from quite such a flattering angle?.
shuping
May 8, 2009
Yay! Cookies for everyone!
You need a hand massage!
the girl in stiletto
May 8, 2009
regarding the third picture… what a beautiful venetian sky *sarcasm* kidding! kidding! you know i love ya… you don’t know? now you know. pretty photos as always. did you take the water bus or the water taxi? i love the water bus. ahaha so much fun.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
I took everything! Bus, taxi, gondola (though, I had no girl with me… how sad is that?) Luckily I was off-season (October), so the smell was OK, and it wasn’t TOO busy!
It was totally planned, Abi. I put the camera down, flat on the ground (I know you can’t see it, but I’m in a lovely location, outside a church, on a little island!), leaned over… and… um… that’s how my face looks in a state of rest, don’tcherknow?
You don’t need a natural ‘gift’ to be good at something, Pink… you just need to stick at it
Sure, you might not be the next Mozart or Monet but you can still be damn good. Most people give up before they get good, normally because they think they’ve failed, or someone’s told them they failed. You just have to stick at it! Or, find a very good teacher… that can help a lot too.
I rub my hands all the time, Shup — but I need someone to do it for me… *hands her a cookie*
chrome3d
May 8, 2009
Wasn´t that 4 photos? 2 were joined but still.
I always like nature erotica and the second one sort of fits in to that category. The first is still the best.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
I guess it says a lot for my testosterone level when the first thing I notice about the second photo is the COLOUR…
Only after staring at it for a little while do I think ‘Ah, yes, that could be a bit of a penis…’
Not intentional, I swear!
Nothing gets past you, Chrome, but considering I took them both as a ‘series’ (there’s actually 3, but I snipped one off — photos, not penises, gutter-mind…) I think it still counts as one IMAGE.
pinkjellybaby
May 8, 2009
hmmm well see I disagree. Sure I can draw and paint better than some people (years and years of practising!)…and yes, I guess I can sing, and i’m pretty good at languages and science… but I’m just OK. Which isn’t good enough for me. I want someone to look at a picture and say ‘wow’ not ‘aww that’s nice’.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
Well for painting, you certainly need to keep at it, for years and years and YEARS! Painting’s actually one of the artistic things that I can’t do, and always avoided doing because I think it would take a huge investment of time to actually become awesome. You need to be so good at hand-eye coordination, and observation, and know a bunch of real world ‘factors’ (if you want to make them look in any way realistic).
Expertise normally means becoming so very good at one thing that the others normally fall by the wayside. One problem I have is that I like doing too many different things… If I stopped and focused on one, I might have more success… not sure!
pinkjellybaby
May 8, 2009
Yeah, mine are pretty, but not realistic (I’d show you but they’re not good enough not to ne totally embarrasing!)! Plus I’m all cack-handed a lot of the time…I am good at making earrings though….
I’d love to be really, really good at one thing, anything really.
Eric
May 8, 2009
Aw, you have a nice weekend too.
My arms are gonna fall off at the shoulder at some point. I’m not really doing anything to stop that. Maybe the ligaments will just get really long and I’ll be able to drag my knuckles on the ground. As if that’s good.
Excited to hear why Americans rock. It’s the silent genocide ability, isn’t it?
sebastian
May 8, 2009
From writing, or from swinging that pick-ax? (Look, I’m showing cultural diversity… best I embrace our new American overlords sooner rather than later…)
I’m having to do a lot of research on the American topic. So far I’m stuck at ‘They have cool national parks; geysers, and shit.’ Any tips?
Eric
May 8, 2009
It’s a regular ax.
To expound on the shit: we have White Sands, the Painted Desert, Petrified Forest. The Grand-Fucking-Canyon. We raise good beef. You’d all be speaking German right now if it weren’t for us (I’ve heard that’s not true, there’d just be, like, five Europeans left on Earth.) We’ve given you all the good music of the past century, minus Led Zeppelin and Neil Young.
That help?
jen - tsk
May 8, 2009
Ha, I actually have RSI! But does that stop me?? No! In all seriousness though it feels worse when I have time off, then getting back to typing is horrible!
How long did you practice your pout for the bottom photos?? You’ll be in Vogue in no time! x
sebastian
May 8, 2009
So, basically, Americans rock because: they’re good farmers. And they make good music.
But wait, that statement is always thrown around with actually looking at it. We had The Beatles (who I don’t like), Paul McCartney/Wings (which I liked more), Pink Floyd, ERIC CLAPTON (Jesus, only one of the greatest musicians of all time), Elton John, Queen…
…
Etc. etc. America had Motown (Stevie Wonder, notably), and I guess if you like blues/country, then America has certainly had more in that area (but Clapton is pretty awesome, no?)
Plus, the recent pop scene has been DOMINATED by our awesome bands like… Girls Aloud, who incidentally, can dominate me aaaany time.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
Ah, Jen, you’ll have to wait for The Animal Special, where I will show you one of my very first pouts, dressed up as Shrek…
Rini
May 8, 2009
I’ve had acute paralysis in my hands and once in my arms (elbows)… I’ve gotten really good at catching it before it actually loses mobility now, and have a decent supply of anti-inflammatory meds and muscle relaxers that generally help. Most cases only last for a few hours, but the first time it happened it lasted for 10 days. It’s never really all that painful (the paresthesia — pens & needles sensation — gets stronger), but it is dreadfully embarrassing. The second time it happened (5 days), I had to have my elderly English teacher tie my shoe for me… in High School… in the hallway during a passing period! It was bad enough my “friends” thought I was faking… (seriously, who fakes paralysis?!?)
sebastian
May 8, 2009
Is that from some kind of nerve damage then? Or… some bones grating on some nerves, or something?
*looks at his hands* I don’t wanna be a cripple!
Though, I have a friend of a friend who’s actually a cripple, at the age of 20. He played video games pretty much non-stop for 10 years, and as a result, he can now hardly move either of his hands. Sucks to be him!
Eric
May 8, 2009
I did forget Elton. And the Stones, forgot the Stones. They’re good. And I guess The Clash is alright. Most of my musical-leanings are American by nature. Folk. Post-rock is dominated by Canada, though, oddly enough. Post-rock and my Birdykins, two reasons for Canada’s existence.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
And, don’t forget, to bolster the size of the British Empire.
You probably shouldn’t get personal though, Eric. It’s never kind to attack those that can’t fight back. I mean, what’re they going to say about you Americans? ‘They have funny accents, eh?’
Eric
May 8, 2009
Hey, that was pro-Canada.
And apparently Porcupine Tree is halfway popular? They aren’t good enough to be as popular as they are.
Jaime @ Fast Times
May 8, 2009
Here are my thoughts on this piece:
I am American. And I rock. I look forward to that blog.
You take some pretty pictures.
I want to go to Italy and take billions of pictures.
Actually, I want to go to Italy. Period. And Germany. And England. And Indonesia.
What kind of camera do you use? Is it digital? TELL ME IT’S A NIKON!
I want a Nikon.
I love taking pictures.
I love doing anything that comes out amazing, because then I feel so damn good about myself.
I look forward to your blogs this month, because I love all your blogs.
And your voice clip is hilarious.
I want to meet you.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
Nikon? Hah. *points at the door*
Canon all the way. You can, with a canon. What can you do with a frickin’ Nikon? Nick? Great.
‘I’m American and I rock’. I think you just encapsulated and amplified about 80% of my forthcoming blog on Americans. ‘Bold’ doesn’t begin to cover it… ‘Big and beautiful’ maybe?
I will ultimately head to the Far East for a very long trip — I don’t know when. You’re more than welcome to come with — enthusiastic Americans always make things more fun! — but it won’t be cheap, and it won’t be fluffy. Backpacking through forests, cutting through vines with a machete, meeting the natives… And of course, making good on the Almost Underage Thai Lady-man Dream that I’ve had for a while.
Thanks, by the way
Jaime @ Fast Times
May 8, 2009
I can tell you one thing, I’m NOT big and beautiful. LOLZ Americans are so fat these days, regardless of our obsession with skinniness.
I’ll take your advice on cameras, since you probably know more than I do.
Also, be sure to keep me updated on your imminent arrival in The States. I’d love to accompany you on some short leg of your journey. I need a good adventure.
Also, you’re welcome.
Rini
May 8, 2009
We actually don’t know what it’s from. We do know that stress makes it worse. I’ve had MRIs, MRAs, EEGs and a load of blood work done… They can’t find anything neurological. Since I work in a neurobiology department, I’ve contemplated offering myself up as a test subject, but they rarely work with people here. Mostly mice and fish.
I’ve actually felt for a while that it might be a B12 deficiency… It’s in my family (my paternal grandfather and one of his brothers were both diagnosed)… and I seem to have a lot of the symptoms. I’m doctor’s not convinced… but when I had my levels checked, I was at 348 (200-800 is deemed “OK” here in the states, other places consider under 500 to be a deficiency).. This was after a couple months being on a supplement and a week of intense meat eating… so it shouldn’t have been that low in my opinion.
Other than carpel tunnel and arthritis, and RSI, I don’t think you have to worry about paralysis.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
I meant the whole PERSONA, Jaime. Not just the people. Big, bold, grab-the-world-by-the-balls — that’s America, and that’s Americans.
I think the world is still reeling from the shock of seeing a new nation — a country only a few hundred years old! — rising to power so damn quickly. Scary.
I hope you get it under control, Rini
I’m still haunted by the fact that my tinnitus is seemingly permanent. I can’t believe I actually damaged my body, at such a young age… I really hope my hands will make it!
Muppet
May 8, 2009
Was that an American accent, in the first throat-cancer go round? I wonder if that’s as hard to do as the other way around.
Also, if you removed all the Americans and kept just Brits, or removed all the Brits and kept just the Americans, the music industry/the history of music would be pretty fucking sad. I need John Lennon and I need Janis Joplin. I MUST have Led Zeppelin and I MUST have the Doors.
I think we should be far more alarmed that most of the brilliant ones seem to be dead.
Also while we’re on the subject of nationality, is it wrong that I enjoy picturing Captain Jack Sparrow or that guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall when you speak?
It’s my brain. I can be inappropriate if I want to.
Also, I’m going to need to come out there and take phallic pictures. I feel like I should be someone who’s into European Phallic Photography.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
European Phallic Photography… Well, even if it doesn’t sell in real life, at all the greatest galleries around Europe and America, I’m sure we’ll be able to sell it online. You can sell anything online.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is like… one of my favourite films ever. Possibly because of the two girls in it. I have no problem with you picturing me, in any form, with any accent…
I think if you removed England OR America, HISTORY itself would be boring… how’s that for a bold statement?
Eric
May 8, 2009
How white of you.
sebastian
May 8, 2009
Yeah… I realised after I’d said it that it was a little, um, colonial.
But let’s just forget the 2000 years of Roman/Byzantine rule, and just go with the modern/important stuff.
Muppet
May 8, 2009
I thoroughly enjoy bold statements.
cari
May 9, 2009
you’re quite the photographer, i must admit. i enjoy your pictures.
Ambles
May 10, 2009
rememBER!
Are you trying to be American?