Venice: The perfect photograph (now in stereo!)
In an attempt to spice things up a little, I’m going to be podcasting a few blog entries — they’ll simply be an unabridged reading of the entry, possibly with a variety of retarded localised accents to make things interesting. I have no idea if it’ll work well or at all but I may as well give it a try — perhaps continue surfing the web while I read to you in the background? Forgive the vanity to your right… but I have to get my kicks somehow.
I can’t do a very good Italian accent, so don’t laugh! Fast forward to 3:40 if you want to just hear the ‘exciting’ bit with the shitty Italian accent, and a hint of Dan Brown-esque American storytelling…
Photographers have it easy compared to our painter comrades. We both deal in luminance and colour, tone, texture and saturation, but at the end of the day painters start with a blank canvas and nothing but the camera of their mind’s eye. Some painters will probably tell you that it makes their life easier, being able to create anything their imagination conjures up. Surely though, controlling the minuscule movements of mixing pigment and the brush itself is infinitely more difficult than raising the shutter on a camera. Then there are those that claim photography is harder — you can only work with what you’ve been given. There is some leeway of course: trickery of the eye and your ability to move props and pose models, but at the end of the day, that’s all you have: you can’t magic a dragon out of thin air.
Photography is all about working with what you’ve got. There is a small amount of knowledge that you need to know before you can operate a camera but we’re talking 3 or 4 simple equations — and the ability to push down a button. Point, and shoot. You can affect how much light enters the camera and that’s it. It’s because of this simplicity and the switch-over to digital cameras that we’re now swamped with thousands of photographers; you, your mother and her mother can be a photographer. It’s no surprise then that selling photos has also become a lot harder: there are more photos in circulation and thus it’s harder to be seen. You can still get lucky, but more than likely your only chance to make money today is as a stock or paparazzi photographer. Like almost every art form it’s one big labour of love: you pray that one day you’ll become the next Monet or Ansel Adams but chances are you won’t. There are so few rich artists, it’s depressing.Whether it’s due to a lack of talent or saturation of the market I don’t know. What I do know is the one thought that courses through the mind of every person that’s made art their life-long dream: will I only be famous after I die?
To separate themselves from the pack, to stand out, artists try to be different. ‘Yet another photo of some daffodils’ isn’t quite as appealing as ‘Exploding daffodils in the bedroom of the woman that broke my heart’. Almost every photographer you’ve heard of or seen today will have been unique — that’s what it takes to not sink into the mire of boring, formulaic photographers, your voice forever unheard, your view of the world unseen.
It’s all about chasing the perfect photo. Like storm-chasers, train-spotters or groupies chasing the perfect tornado, rare train or celebrity photographers must try so, so hard to get the perfect photo. Place yourself one centimeter to the left and you might ruin the entire photo. You might have to wait for a cloud to cover the sun to get the perfect light conditions, or even wait for the sun to be in the perfect position before you take the photo. A landscape could be completely average and nondescript at midday, but the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen at 5pm as the sun begins to set.
Photographing people is another beast entirely: the merest flick at the corner of a girl’s lips might make or break a photo. A glint of sun refracting off her eye could change the meaning and the impact. Is she breathing in or out; are her muscles tensed or relaxed? Even the greatest photographers of all time might take thousands of photos of the same setup — as the years go by, the ratio of good-to-bad photos will improve but you’re still searching for perfection, and sometimes that’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Fortunately I’m a landscape photographer. I’m quite good at portrait work, I just don’t have the experience — and being a good photographer takes a lot of experience. Landscapes don’t go anywhere: the sun continues to rise, the clouds roll on by — you can keep practicing and practicing, with landscapes. With people… it’s a little trickier. One day I’ll put in the hours and chain down one of my photogenic female friends, get the lights out and go to town! One day.
So there I was in Venice, up a clock tower. It was 3pm and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. Being the geek that I am, I phoned my dad and asked him what time the sun would set — 6pm, 3 hours away. Fine, I can wait 3 hours. I’ve got a book and a bottle of water. There are all sorts of pretty tourist girls swanning around that I can chat to, and take photos of (with their own cameras, of course!) Two hours pass, it starts to get dark, my pulse quickens. I dart around the tower, surveying how different Venice looks in the fading light, looking for the perfect angle for the perfect photo.
‘The tower will be closing in 10 minutes, please take the elevator back down.’
Shit. I smile and nod at the Italian, my mind quickly working through the available solutions: I wasn’t about to head back down the tower after waiting for two hours! It wasn’t a big tower, and there weren’t any obvious dark corners. I looked up and wondered if I could wedge myself inside the bell itself. Maybe in films… but not here in real life. I was out of time and only one option remained: climb out one of the windows and cling to the wall. They do it in films… they inch themselves along a thin ledge…
The Italian usher was slowly walking around the tower, shooing people into the elevator. I only had 30 seconds to decide — wuss out and waste two hours of my life, or… chase the photo. I jumped onto the windowsill and looked down — Shit — I turned around and inched backwards until my toes were on the ledge — Crap — I reach to the left and grab the edge of the next portal — Phew — I’m safe for now, but the pounding of my heart against the ancient brick wall would suggest I’m still in in a wee spot of bother. Finally, the sound of the descending elevator! I slide myself along the ledge, my feet now splayed like a ballet dancer’s and pull myself back inside.
There I am, all alone and king of the hill! I camped out for another hour, constantly assessing the landscape, sizing up the prey, waiting to strike. An hour later, I struck gold — a full moon! A total fluke, but completely deserved. I pulled out the camera, struck a pose not unlike a war-time sniper and… wait! A big ship too! Click. Bang!
That’s how I chased my perfect photo of Venice. It’s not a stereotypical view of Venice but I challenge you to find another like it.
It was getting cold and I had no food; I was out of water and thirsty. I packed up quickly and pushed the call button on the elevator. Nothing. I pushed it again. Still nothing. I looked out through a window and grinned in the darkness, wondering if it was possible.
To be continued…
Related posts:
- Venice, Veneto, Venezia — no, not Caesar’s less-famous battle cry but a cute little city in Italy…
- Stuck up a bell tower
- This month, on Seb’s blog…
you totally sound like Dracula when you do your Italian accent. LOVE it. lol Though I did kind of like listening to your post instead of reading. I totally put all my laundry away. so I was productive and entertained all at the same time! lovely!
May 15th, 2009 at 7:49 amAlas I cannot listen to you speak, for I am not on my own computer but naturally I am devastated to miss out on the auditory jubilee it is sure to be.
Photographer is an overused term. I don’t consider myself a photographer. I just take pictures, many of which are often bad but which keep me creative on a daily basis. In some ways I wish the 365 was not self portrait based because as you say- there are always those who would see it as vanity. It’s not by the way- although it does often prevent me from taking pictures of anything else which I feel stops me learning anything. I’m just too lazy.
I suppose a lot of the really outstanding Photographers (capital P) get lost in the flood of mediocrity and trying to get your work out there can be exhausting and often fruitless.
So as not to sound like an armchair art critic re your pic… Nice one!.
May 15th, 2009 at 11:46 amDon’t even get me started on the accent, Hannah… I tried it like 5 times… and that was the best… But I’m glad it was amusing if nothing else!
It was only after I realised that Mario was Italian that I should try and sound like him. Great help that was…
You’re very right, Abi. But art is so subjective… there are also so many painters that call themselves artists, but do they produce art? Or writers that think they can compose prose, or poets that can write poetry… The ‘piece of outstanding beauty’ definition of art seems to have slipped by the wayside.
Photographer and photographer, perhaps it deserves a proper noun, I don’t know
I’m sure the pro-Photographers would like the separation from the morass of ‘point and shoot’ artists. There have been quite a few examples of newbies that have ‘got lucky’ though and taken the perfect photo — not to mention, we can see parts of the world we might never have seen, thanks to tourists and their digital cameras.
You go to quite extreme lengths on your 365 photos too, to make them unique and interesting. I’d definitely call you an artist!
May 15th, 2009 at 12:40 pmWay to go, etc., etc., and fuck you for suggesting Dan Brown represents American storytelling.
May 15th, 2009 at 1:05 pmThrew that one in just for you
May 15th, 2009 at 1:16 pm(When do we stop flirting incessantly and actually get down to the sex thing…?)
May 15th, 2009 at 1:17 pmI’ve done some fun things for a picture, but never quite like that. Possibly because I’m terrified of heights. Hehehe.
It’s truly gorgeous though, definitely worth it.
May 15th, 2009 at 1:29 pmThumbs up for the audio post – You were looking to add a little spice, and you did just that.
I’ve actually done a few of these, but never published them on the blog. I have a series of Vlogs and Alogs but I’ve just never got around to making them final.
Glad you did!
May 15th, 2009 at 2:02 pmWhen I was in America, I climbed over the safety barriers at both the Grand Canyon and Yosemite. Some photos you just can’t take unless you’re right out on the EDGE!
What’re you waiting for, Katie? Especially with the vlogs… (alogs sounds a bit sexual). Glad it went down well
May 15th, 2009 at 2:04 pmYou read the same paragraph twice!
May 15th, 2009 at 2:56 pmHah, shit… did I?
Oh well, you got the special extended edition. It was quite late when I did the reading.
I’ll go fix that now… no one will ever be any the wiser! Except for you.
May 15th, 2009 at 2:59 pmI am so wise.
I love listening to you read your blog aloud while I follow along. It’s so much more fun than just reading! And you really have a very good storyteller voice. I look forward to more of these.
May 15th, 2009 at 3:04 pmCool
(And nice catch!)
I’ll try to do it earlier in the day, with more energy… it should be more interesting then.
Also, the stories with dialogue in them worry me now…
May 15th, 2009 at 3:06 pmNah, no worries. It’s entertaining for sure.
May 15th, 2009 at 3:20 pmMost intriguing story how you got that photo. I was wondering where that could be as Venice doesn´t have that high buildings.
May 15th, 2009 at 3:51 pmIt only has one — well, the balcony of the large basilica too, but the clock tower is a lot taller.
I need to find a good photo of the clock tower for the second half of the story, so you can appreciate just how high up I was…!
May 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pmI’m just now getting into photography – and I attended a course on it last week – but I don’t think I’d ever be so adventurous in snapping a shot. Am I willing to risk looking like a moron, laying in the grass of a college campus to shoot an odd picture of a tree? Sure. But safety is another story.
May 15th, 2009 at 6:11 pmyou said “phew” as a “phew”???? seriously seb????? ngah ha haha ha ahahahahahhahaha.
and that italian accent???!!!!!! ngahahahhahahahahahahahhaahhaahahahah. i will never be able to read your future sex post with a straight face. oh believe me. ahahaha.
did i hear a comment about being in ireland somewhere through the commentary? or did you say island?
“phew” indeed seb ahahaha.
May 15th, 2009 at 6:43 pmYeah YEAH, I wrote it first and THEN read it. Some things just shouldn’t be said aloud… but whatever. Live and learn, right?!
I’ll do the Italian better next time, I promise. If there is a next time…
May 15th, 2009 at 6:48 pmno, you shouldn’t stop that. who knows, next time you read your sex post out loud, you’re not gonna make the (say for example) “ahhh ahhh ahhh” sound like the way it should be right?
come to think of it, you should write a sex post with lots of sound effects and audio it.
May 15th, 2009 at 8:47 pmUmm… you are NOT forgiven for the accent!
Okay, you are… but only because you laughed at yourself!
May 15th, 2009 at 9:09 pmI know this guy who is making it as a pro photographer, he was won tons of awards! Here is his website:
May 15th, 2009 at 11:13 pmhttp://www.lungliu.com/#
Now you’re missing a paragraph (“Fortunately I’m a landscape photographer…”)
That-a is-a a terrible Italian-o accent-o. You’re forgiven because I couldn’t do much better (though I know better than to try). And because it was pretty funny. Especially since you said you based it on Mario!
That photo of Venice is gorgeous, though. I wouldn’t have been gutsy enough to get it. I mean, you stayed in there past closing time. You broke the rules! Heights, smeights, I would have been afraid to get in trouble (sad but true).
I clearly know nothing about photography. I can occasionally take a photo of a beautiful thing, but only by chance are my photos ever beautiful in and of themselves. I leave the true Photography to others.
May 16th, 2009 at 2:18 am… Really, that’s the last time I record audio at 2am… Thankfully you’re an understanding bunch…
I’ve been practicing today though, and next time my Italian will-a be-a fantastic-o!
… I promise.
You know, breaking arbitrary rules is the one thing I go out of my way to do. There’s a fantastic paragraph in one of Pratchett’s Discworld books that basically says: “If you really want to make sure someone looks at something, stick a sign that says ‘ABSOLUTELY NO ENTRY WHAT SO EVER ON PAIN OF DEATH’ on it.”
I like to disobey just to see what happens…
Does that make me a bad human?
May 16th, 2009 at 2:27 am“I aim to misbehave” hehehe.
Well, it depends on what rules you’re breaking, of course. Endangering people or certain creatures or property is generally a no-no. Rules are usually in place for a reason. Besides, there’s always the “if everyone did it” thing… If everyone had decided to climb out the window onto the ledge to avoid leaving, there might have been a problem.
That said, I could probably use a little more rule breaking. I was walking around Waikiki one night with a girl who was another prospective student at UHawaii, and we wanted to get to the beach. We tried cutting through this VERY fancy hotel, and there were all these signs saying “Guests Only” and “Formal Evening Attire Required” everywhere, and I was wishing very hard that I could just disappear, especially when we got to the back of the hotel yard and realized that, of course, they had very effectively blocked off the hotel grounds from the beach (they wouldn’t want common folk like us wandering in off the beach), so we had to turn around and go back through. This girl kept telling me “It’s okay! It’s fine!” but I was terrified that someone might notice us. I mean, the worst they would have done was ask us to leave, which we were planning on doing anyway, but still, the thought of that nearly killed me. I know it’s kind of pathetic. Does that make me a bad human?
May 16th, 2009 at 2:51 amAh, Mal… the ultimate kinda-maybe-well-in-the-shadow-on-a-bad-day-only … bad guy.
I only ever endanger MY life of course; I said I break rules, I don’t break people…! I just have the ability to make incredibly quick and rational decisions, which normally works heavily in my favour (especially in arguments with other people, but that’s another topic…) As I alluded to in a few other blog entries, I so rarely make a bad judgement call, it’s freaky. Whether that’s because I’m always right, or I just refuse to see that I’m wrong through righteousness… well…
I’m not as good as some of my friends who simply don’t feel embarrassment or fear. In your situation, I probably would’ve pretended to be a member of the hotel or something — even talked to the receptionist or something — rather than try to sneak through like a big-footed rogue with no skill points in Sneak. I have quite a strong streak of etiquette which normally stops me from doing anything tooo stupid…
I think, on the grand scale of things, we’re both pretty good humans.
May 16th, 2009 at 3:02 amI wasn’t accusing you of anything, just making generalizations about rule breaking.
I was trying very hard in that hotel to look like I was a guest, but the dirty t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops weren’t exactly high-class evening attire camouflage. Had anyone actually talked to us, I could have tried to make a Bluff check and claim that I was a guest, but I probably would have just played a dumb tourist, no Bluff required. I am very good at being apologetic.
May 16th, 2009 at 3:28 amNow seriously at first i love the fact that you’re a photographer but I feel dying a bit inside because mostly you do landscape means I can’t be narcissistic enough to ask you to photograph me?LOL
May 16th, 2009 at 5:09 amCan you do the whole downcast head, shuffling feet and quiet mumbling, Eleni? ‘Sowwy…’ Perhaps your eyes go all big and scared and apologetic too?
I’d really, REALLY love to do more portrait work Andhari. But I have to ask someone to come be my model… and then you have to pose them, play with them — it’s a lot harder than landscapes. AND, if you mess it up, it’s all your fault. A landscape doesn’t mind if you make it look bad… if you give a girl a double-chin, it’s the photographer’s fault!
But if I finally make it over to your side of the world… we can do some photos… just don’t blog them, if they’re bad
May 16th, 2009 at 12:34 pmYeah and when you did all those risky things in Yosemite you near gave me a heart attack.
Also, I just discovered that there is street view in Firenze and found place you took your photo of the Uffizi/Palazzo Vecchio which included the Vasari Corridor (yes I know I’m showing off). (Though the street view is not complete and it is incredibly frustrating as I can’t “go” down streets that I want to.) Lovely photo of Venice though I’m more looking forward to what you say about Florence.
As a visual artist who does both photography and drawing (I really don’t care for painting) I’d say they are simply different processes and I have a preference of working from life so your entire spiel about painters having to work from their imagination feels off. Painters historically used models and real life places to work from, at least as studies.
And I’m afraid I’ve never searched for perfection – I’d rather my photos be interesting than perfect.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:40 pmWell of course, almost every artist works from some kind of inspiration — a muse, a view, a bowl of fruit — but there’s a LOT that goes on between your eyes and brain, and then your fingers! A photographer can only spin a few dials, find the right angle and SNAP! Photography is perhaps a little more technical, as we can’t really correct things as we go along.
But, having said that, the digital darkroom means there is an awful lot of creativity that can go into taking a photo — I like to think that you should have a half-way decent photo before you start faffing around in Photoshop, however
May 19th, 2009 at 11:20 pmThere are those that do photo illustrations…
May 20th, 2009 at 12:26 am