You’re right, classification is dull and very modern. In the olden days we just did whatever we liked and kept it secret. People were ‘just as gay’ back then, but it simply ‘wasn’t done’. Today, though, people like their classifications, their stereotypes, their pigeon-holing.

Also, I think that person was written by someone that was quite young, and you know how identity issues can plague teenagers, right?

Not everyone is comfortable enough with themselves, or with the society they live in, to ‘try a bit of everything’. Perhaps one day we will be.

you dont have to be “hetro” or “gay”. just eat what you like. you dont have to put a label on yourself. others will do this for you anyway. usually because of ignorance and/or stupidity. you dont have to explain to anyone what you prefer in bed, or for lunch. just because you sleep with a girl tomorrow doesnt mean you cant have a man the next day. there are no rules for this.

im sure scientist can come up with all kinds of reasons as to why someone is gay, dont eat meat or has blue as their favourite color. who cares why? i cant see how this knowledge could be used for anything productive.

I get told all the time that I’m incredibly distracting. I have no idea why…

“But there’s a big difference between experiencing an electric connection and wanting to screw ‘em, at least in my experience. I mean, did you want to kiss her, or did you want to rescind your life-long worship of the penis?” – An electric connection usually results (almost immediately) in the urge to screw ‘em (although I’d put it more delicately than that). Yes I wanted to kiss her. No, I haven’t ever “worshipped” the penis!

Me personally, I probably think it’s a unique case-by-case thing. Something along the same lines that we ‘instinctively’ chase down people with different genetics to us, or those that have the ‘right’ pheromones. But really, who knows — I’m sure we’re in for a few startling discoveries in the next few years with regard to human behaviour!

Kali — I was kidding, while trying to sound serious. This entire column is like that, if you hadn’t noticed. I am playing slightly-tongue-in-cheek doctor!

Surely, for someone that isn’t even sure if they’re gay or not, walking into a highly-charged environment full of would-be lovers/predators/teachers isn’t a wise idea? The same way those girls that have spent 18 years in an all-girls school probably shouldn’t go and get drunk and date-raped on their first night at university!

Your link was bad, but I found this one:
— I do look a bit similar, eh?

I’ve often thought I look a bit South American… God knows where it’s from though. Both my parents are as white as can be.

http://images.google.com.ar/images?hl=es&um=1&sa=1&q=alejandro+lerner&btnG=Buscar+im%C3%A1genes&aq=f&oq=

Cheers!

Okay – Non-geek dude, I have different advice. You are not a geek. That’s fine. You ask ‘how can I be the guy she wants?’ and I’m not really sure how you think pretending to be into geek stuff is going to help you there. Play your strengths and be yourself. You’re not supposed to be interested in what she’s interested in, you’re just supposed to be interested in HER. Screw the rest. If she likes you it won’t be because you’ve perfected the vulcan salute.

And Maybe-gay girl… Seb, first of all why do you call gay bars treacherous and seedy? They’re not all seedy dives down back alleys. And there IS a middle ground between “did you want to kiss her, or did you want to rescind your life-long worship of the penis?” It’s called being bisexual and many people (myself included) happily live without rescinding our love of either.

My advice, for what it’s worth (not much since I’m hungover and spent most of last night shouting down the big white porcelain phone) is to just get out there and experiment til you find your groove, and don’t be so worried about sticking a label on it.

I don’t get people’s obsession with labelling everything…

Anyway, that’s all. Seb, of course we get on. We get on great, don’t be ridiculous.