“Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read.
One does not love breathing.”Scout Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Gods, this is going to be a sappy one…
It’s the kind of sentence that comes right out of left field, right from the author rather than the character. Lulled into a false sense of security by Scout’s oft-inane stream of consciousness and then blam, the kind of phrase that makes you stop and think.
And then check your pulse. OK, still beating; still breathing, but stymied. And then your entire world-view shifts with a twang and you suddenly find yourself looking at your entire life in fits and spurts, frame after frame, chronology-be-damned — it’s not being re-written but rather shifted. Girls that I’ve loved past and present; places visited, visions seen; choices made, choices ignored, choices fumbled.
I catch myself when I realise I’m growing a little dizzy. Time to put the book down and go for a walk.
It’s cold outside. Perfect for the dissipation of excess thoughts and heat. I’m sizzling up. Why do some memories cause such exothermic reactions? Sweaty palms to my temples do nothing; I’ll just have to weather it out. Into the dark cool I tread, with autumn rustling invisibly all around I walk.
Eventually it settles downs. I had forgotten just how intensive epiphanies could be or how drained and dessicated they can leave you.
I don’t quite know what Harper Lee’s trying to tell me, but she’s certainly made me think. Perhaps it’s a modern-day retelling of the ancient idiom ‘can’t see the forest for the trees’? Is she trying to say that I should cherish everything I’ve ever had, or every person I’ve met and fallen in or out of love with? That I’m ultimately mortal and should live every day as if it’s my last?
Surely, if nothing else, she — Scout, or Harper Lee — is telling me to appreciate what I’ve got.
I’m only about a quarter way through the book and I can already tell it’s one of those books that, in the best way possible, and just like the lives of most people on this fair planet, goes absolutely nowhere. I think Harper Lee had a series of epiphanies, maybe in childhood but more likely as an adult, and now wants me to take a spin on her autobiographical carnival ride. I’m going to have to keep an eye out for all the juicy little titbits that she’s left for me along the way.
Hezabelle
Oct 26, 2009
To Kill a Mocking Bird is one of the books way down in the foundation of the little house of books I’ve read in my life, changing the way I approach all of the books that come after it.
It’s truly an amazing book.
sebastian
Oct 26, 2009
That’s what like… 50% of people say, re: Mockingbird.
The other 50% say it’s a mediocre book that goes nowhere and does nothing…
I’m wondering what it will be for me
Hezabelle
Oct 26, 2009
I don’t know if it would have the same effect on me now, having read so many amazing books since. But I read it when I was about 14 and it really changed… everything.
Ed Adams
Oct 26, 2009
I love the old black and white movie version of TKAMB. The wife and I saw the play recently, also.
Mr. Apron
Oct 26, 2009
Sebby,
This book will take you on a beautiful journey, and I think you’re lucky that you’re walking hand-in-hand with Harper Lee at this point in your life.
sebastian
Oct 26, 2009
Nothing like seeing the world through an over-intelligent 7 year old…
Art
Oct 26, 2009
Have you seen the film? Definitely see the film as well…the book- like all first versions- is better, but the moview is pretty awesome.
sebastian
Oct 26, 2009
Didn’t even know there was a film! But I guess it’s not a surprise…
8.5/10 on IMDB! I guess I’ll have to look it up — after the book. But… I’m a slow reader…!
Melissa
Oct 26, 2009
Hmm…. I read this book as just the next mandatory step in my schooling, and never gave it a second thought. Now I think I’d better take another whack at it!
sebastian
Oct 26, 2009
I think it’s the same with many mandatory books — they’re not written for children, but for some reason a lot of ‘old’ books somehow become ‘a book for children’.
Very few books are actually written for kids — and you can tell which ones they are! I wonder how many people have been ‘ruined’ by having to read Lord of the Rings at the age of 14, instead of in adulthood…
Nyx
Oct 26, 2009
I also had to read this as a mandatory book for school – I hated it. Absofreakinglutely hated it. But then I re-read it later on, and loved it. I had much the same experience with Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye.
TKAMB is one of those books that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Looks like you’re figuring out what it means to you.
Brace yourself, there’s more epiphanies to come. At least, in my experience.
hannah wood
Oct 26, 2009
I had to read this book at school at 14 but I LOVED it. I still have my school copy with al of my annotated notes scarweled all over it from those 13 yrs ago (wow that makes me feel ancient) in pride of place on my bookshelf. Its one of those books I read as a child that has stayed with me all these years later.
hannah wood
Oct 26, 2009
obviously my highly academic school did not do a very good job at teaching me how to spell! (perhaps the lack of boys tainted my concentration)
Jaime
Oct 26, 2009
I haven’t read it. A lot of kids read it in school, but not in my class.
sebastian
Oct 27, 2009
Yes… obviously it was the lack of boys, Hannah… You do so well when surrounded by pretty boys…
Do the notes still make sense, so many years later? ‘Scout is cool.’ ‘I wanna be like Scout!!!’ ‘Boo is SCARY…’
I’ve heard a lot of mediocre stuff about ‘Rye, Nyx. But perhaps it’s the same thing as Mockingbird… compulsory reading probably doesn’t make for high levels of enjoyment
Nyx
Oct 27, 2009
Hated Rye, with a passion. More so than Mockingbird. But (you knew there was going to be a ‘but,’ right?) I re-read it years later on a whim.
Fell in absolute love with it. But that might be because I find the idea of a disillusioned teenager as a main character pretty darn spiffy. That and it’s pretty hard to like a character when you have to write a paper every few days on him.
Hannah-Lane
Oct 27, 2009
hmm I read Mockingbird in high school and didn’t like it. Read it a couple months ago and hated it less, but still don’t love it. I don’t see what the big deal is with it or why I’m supposed to love it. Same for Catcher in the Rye and Huck Finn…and Grapes of Wrath…TKM is probably my favorite though of my ’4 most hated books from high school’
the movies’ got Gregory Peck in it…not one of my favorites either. Something about the little girl playing Scout annoyed the crap out of me.
I’d much rather read something like Rebecca or 1984 or that one Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep.
sebastian
Oct 27, 2009
I suppose from that, Hannah, we can conclude that you prefer dystopian novels rather than classic go-nowhere ones
The reviews pretty much agree with what everyone’s saying though — some love, some hat. I bet it’s split by who HAD to read what, and when/where.
Rye does sound slightly more exciting! (But I didn’t order it — Pride and Prejudice sounded cooler :P)