Forgive me… for I have dribbled
(Click for larger… and more dribbly…)
Soooo…
Yeah. This one didn’t quite work out the way I had intended. Originally it was simply going to be called ‘Oops’. But it doesn’t look enough like POO! Damn it. I guess it could be liquid poo, but that doesn’t tend to be quite so dark brown… does it? At least I don’t think so…
In the process of making this blog entry, I actually researched shit, faeces, stool, scatological wunderkind — sometimes being a writer is one of the best jobs ever… and sometimes it is not. Did you know that there’s a ’stool scale’? That there are seven (7) ranks of crap consistency in medical science? No? It was actually invented nearby at the University of Bristol and it’s called… the Bristol Stool Scale. What you see here, all over my feet, is something like a 6.5 — pushing towards diarrhoea, or at least a shit that would usually be delivered unto the porcelain goddess with some urgency.
You learn something new every day.
I only got one attempt at this photo for obvious reasons… so when I had a look at them on my computer, I was a little disappointed. But hey, even if it doesn’t really look like poop, it’s still a great photo. Next time I’ll definitely use something a little more… lumpy. If there is a next time.
[More issues regarding leaky and unfortunate dribbles of bodily fluids can no doubt be found over on Lilu's blog this Thursday.]
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At first sight actually, I assumed it was blood. Which is MORE alarming. Not that the prospect of leaking crap all over the floor in and of itself isn’t mortifying. One of your grimmer posts, mate!
December 10th, 2009 at 10:49 amYeah…
Put it this way, it was too late to take another photo, I was covered in chocolate sauce, the light was failing… so I had to either go with this one, or not at all.
Sorry
December 10th, 2009 at 12:13 pm[...] Sebastian’s Forgive me… for I have dribbled [...]
December 10th, 2009 at 1:29 pmYou could have emailed me. I know a LOT about poop being a mom to two kids and all. (http://strandupdate.blogspot.com/2009/11/because-i-know-you-wanted-poop-update.html). You will get something like this if you hold your poop for several days (around 6 or 7) and then the liquidy poop that sneaks around the hard poop you are holding will look similar to this. Sometimes it can be darker. That’s like when it’s just digested. And if you do this holding business regularly, all your poopy functioning parts stretch out. Then you can’t hold it. But they might go back to normal size. Eventually. But until then- adult diapers for you! Or pullups if you’re little. So try this for a month or so and you might get an actual realistic picture. LOL!!!
And I just realized those of you eating right now may not want to know that. Sorry. Kind of.
December 10th, 2009 at 2:20 pm… Jesus…
Well, you learn something new EVERY day… even if it’s about poo…
I don’t envy you!
December 10th, 2009 at 2:22 pm*vomits*
Thanks Seb.
*vomits*
December 10th, 2009 at 2:51 pmNot all over my feet… watch it!
December 10th, 2009 at 3:13 pmglad I didn’t go with chocolate milk this morning
December 10th, 2009 at 4:29 pmOh. My. Gosh…
Sebastian every week you post a new TMI favorite for me. I don’t think this one can be topped. I think it looks like poo. And I’m eating runny beans for lunch, so that’s fabulous. And I’m really thankful to know that there is a scale for poo. I’m guessing healthy is somewhere around a 3?
I think this will be in my head all day now!
December 10th, 2009 at 5:52 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha_qtiH1i5Q&feature=player_embedded
Yeah… around 3 or 4… but I hope most people don’t actually look into the bowl and give their poo a rating… maybe they do… God knows…
Thanks for the Scrubs link
December 10th, 2009 at 5:54 pmI clicked on the Wiki link and was completely weirded out. Why do they have a scale for shit?! Soooo strange.
The picture however, in my opinion, looks like poop. A way it could’ve been more solid would’ve been if you melted more chocolate. I feel strange just thinking about how to make fake poop.
Where do you come up with this stuff?
December 10th, 2009 at 6:16 pmLOL…if you wouldve made it red, it would look like it’s “that time of month”…running down your legs
Like seriously you don’t want that to happen….really embarrassing and uncomfy 
December 10th, 2009 at 6:17 pmThanks for the insight Aiko…
I’m glad it looks like poo to you, Heather! I almost didn’t post this one because I thought it really DID just look like I’d been having too much fun with chocolate sauce.
I mean, it’s one of my favourite pastimes, but taking PHOTOS of it… no…
As to where I come up with it… God knows. Usually in the shower on Wednesday morning.
December 10th, 2009 at 6:19 pmI am NOT clicking. That is as dribbly as I wanna get…
December 10th, 2009 at 7:52 pmI thought you of all people would have quite an affinity for shit — or even fake shit… harumpf.
December 10th, 2009 at 8:52 pmIT COULD have been poop.
Brown blood would have been WAY more scary.
December 11th, 2009 at 7:36 amGreat blog seb!
December 11th, 2009 at 2:19 pmI’m ashamed, as a dedicated Anglophile, to admit that I didn’t know you guys spelled “feces” like you do.
I’m disappointed in myself.
December 11th, 2009 at 7:00 pmYeah, I was going to bring up the lack of chunkiness but you already considered that. Ah well, next time. Looking forward to the next crap shot. (Oh come on, someone had to say it)
December 12th, 2009 at 12:53 amdo you actually do freelance writing?
December 13th, 2009 at 2:39 amYeah Apron, it’s probably some left-over from the ‘ae’ in Nordic languages — doesn’t really make sense most of the time, but you know how English is… we like holding on to our superfluous letters.
(Thanks Nico; someone had to say it. I’m glad it was you.)
How’d ya mean, Floreta? Freelance writing about poo? Or in more general terms?
December 13th, 2009 at 2:48 amIt’s posts like this that make me love you.
December 13th, 2009 at 5:14 amWe’ve always known that you have quite… basic… requirements for a woman.
December 13th, 2009 at 1:16 pmlol. i mean freelance writing in general. do you freelance write for money?
i’m starting to and it’s interesting.. the researching etc. fun times!
December 13th, 2009 at 10:46 pmI do! Hit me up via email or other channels.
December 14th, 2009 at 12:34 am