[In the olden days I used to always have punchy, interesting titles on my blog entries. Funny how that's kind of died down. I wonder if more people would read if I try to be sensational...]
Yesterday I began an epic journey of introspection self-actualisation. I’m trying to digest 2009 by labelling the major milestones or stand-out points as good, bad or ugly. I actually made a list on paper (I was in the car), and I couldn’t actually come up with much bad stuff. Is it really too crazy to suggest that not a single bad thing happened to me in the span of a year? Hm…
Anyway, first, a couple of photos from the archives that never made it to Flickr or this blog.
(This is about 10 minutes before the ‘pond sunset’ photos that I showed you last week. I can’t begin to describe how much I love low-angled winter sun. Look at the shadow cast by the little mounds of snow on the ground! And gawd… the colour. THE COLOUR.)
(This is an odd one, taken at around 1am, just as the snow had finished falling last week. Broken bird table in the foreground, dining room window in the background. I like it; it makes it look like we live in a castle — but it’s a bit odd.)
The Good of 2009 (#2): The Arts & Critical Analysis
This is a good, meaty one. With my daily grind shifted away from website design, my mind seems to have opened up. Perhaps it’s the equivalent of travelling to another country, but mentally. I find myself contemplating the intricacies of concepts and ideas that simply didn’t occur to me last year. It’s not like these are new thoughts either: almost all of what I write here is old ideas, with a new spin.
I’m just infinitely more capable of turning an idea over in my head to analyse all of its facets.
I want to believe that my elevated ability of critical analysis comes from reading and writing, but it might simply be the culmination of travel and life experience. Writing here certainly helps — it’s no good having revolutionary, world-agitating ideas if you can’t put them into words.
It’s definitely led me into some dark and oppressive trains of thought too. I’d never really got the whole ‘epiphany’ thing until recently, when I was sitting outside, looking up into the cosmos and trying to catch shooting stars. Woah. This thing is… big.
The Bad of 2009 (#2): Intentionally Left Blank
I told you I was really struggling to find bad things in 2009. I guess we’ll have to leave it as simply ‘no girlfriend’ then. Let’s hope this no-bad thing is a trend I can continue into 2010!
The Ugly of 2009 (#3): Photography
Now this might be a little contentious, and I might simply be worrying about nothing much at all but… the photography isn’t doing as well as I’d like. I mean, technically, I am getting better with every frame I shoot. My digital darkroom process is, in my opinion, one of the best out there. It sounds big-headed, but it’s rare that I see a photo that impresses me more than my own. It does happen of course — but… I am not as amazed by commercial, successful photographers as I ought to be.
I look at magazine covers and shrug. Editorial photos… hit and miss. Even the old standard, the music magazine front covers… mediocre. There are still some stand-out photos of course, but they are rare. Why don’t I have their job instead?
But then I consider how lucky I was to get my writing job. Many people struggle for years or decades before they get a big break. I think photography (as fine art) is the same. It’s not like I am taking commercial/paparazzi photos. It’s not like I am taking portraits of figureheads or celebrities.
And then I look at a frickin’ copy of the National Geographic. I think, in total, over 10 years of reading NG, I’ve seen about five bad photos.
I’m lumping this one under ‘ugly’ because I’m simply not sure if I’m doing well or not. I have an optimistic feeling that my photographic efforts will pay off in 2010, but there’s a chance it won’t happen for years and years… and that’s something I should be prepared for!
I didn’t pick up a camera to be famous or successful though. I picked up a camera eight years ago because I wanted an excuse to push me outside, away from my computers. If I was still only measuring myself by that meter, it’s been a resounding success. Unfortunately, I’ve now had a taste of just how good I could be as a photographer… and now I want to be BIG.
* * *
I think I’m done here. But something might pop up on Thursday, we’ll see!
Eric
Dec 29, 2009
It’s not your skill, it’s your subject matter. England? *fart noise*
Though I do enjoy the sherbet color of the sun. Makes me think of Push-up ice cream.
Mr 76
Dec 29, 2009
You don’t sound like you have had a bad year at all, I’ve been doing photography (more than just snapping) since 1991, and I still don’t seem to be any good as a photographer my own claim to fame was 3 photos in a readers section of a camera magazine last year, I think I see it as just being fun.
Anyway hope you have a happy new year.
sebastian
Dec 29, 2009
I always think I’m lucky to have England as a playground too Eric… but then I see photos of other countries
It’s damn pretty here, but it’s still relatively TEMPERATE. We don’t get the STUNNING vistas that other countries get. In my opinion at least! Maybe it’s just familiarity.
Well, that’s three more than me, 76! I’ve had some photos in local papers, and some at university, but I think that’s about as ‘published’ as I get. This year I really need to get some prints framed and hang them somewhere. Get some EXPOSURE.
Kevin
Dec 29, 2009
The NatGeo museum here in DC has BIG HD monitors in the windows facing 17th and M streets. They cycle through some of the greatest pictures ever taken and I could stand there for hours, mouth agape, in awe. I wonder how much of it is skill (a lot I’m sure) and how much of it is sheer quantity – shooting hundred of thousands of pictures every year that gets the results. Used to be I’d be happy with one or two good pictures per roll of 36. Now I’m happy with one out of a hundred on a memory card.
sebastian
Dec 29, 2009
Hehe, indeed indeed… the only real measure of improvement (for me) is the number of good photos per 100. Used to be 1/100, now it’s probably 10/100. I guess composition improves too!
I think with NatGeo it’s mostly about location. A photo is a photo — there’s only so much technical expertise you can bring to it. One of the best ways to get into the NatGeo is to pay for a £10k tour, to the Arctic Circle or something, take photos, then send them to NG.
Well, something to aspire to at least!
Kat
Dec 29, 2009
With photography, maybe the key is just to keep challenging yourself in different directions. I think I read that you only recently did your first shoot with a model. Not just to broaden your range (is there more of a commercial market for photos with people versus landscape? I’m not sure), but also learning how to do it better might teach you new tricks for landscape photos. For example, the idea of finding a “protagonist” even in a landscape, if you know what I mean. The history of landscape in general (in different media) might be helpful too; there’s a good one by Simon Schama and also Oxford Art has one “Landscape and Western Art” which is sort of a survey.
sebastian
Dec 29, 2009
Yeah, I know what you mean, and that’s basically what I always try to do. I never settle with merely knowing one thing when I could know MORE. I’m a firm believer in the fact that there’s ALWAYS more that can be learnt. Almost everything in this world is interesting to me, so I have no problem finding new things to study or research or learn.
I think photos of people are inherently more interesting to human audiences, for obvious reasons. I don’t know which I prefer — landscapes or portraits. I think I could grow to love portraits because it’s more fun when you can play with the subject — a landscape is a little dull and immutable.
chrome3d
Dec 30, 2009
That was a good read. Nice to see how you think big with photography and all. If you think big then big things will follow. Maybe.
floreta
Dec 31, 2009
you’ve got loads of talent, Sebby
the no girlfriend thing ain’t bad at all! cheers to 2010.