JUST DO IT
(Click for larger… you know you want to!)
Have I done enough to secure my spot in hell? Surely I must be getting pretty close… [More hell-seekers can be found over on Lilu's blog!]
This photo’s for everyone out there that’s been caught without toilet paper either at home or in a public bathroom.
For everyone that’s tried in vain to find a scrap of paper in your pocket or handbag that can be shoehorned into anal submission.
For those of you that have done the ‘John Wayne Walk’ across the bathroom to get the toilet paper that has either a) rolled away from you or b) been left in the wrong place by someone else (WHY??)
But most of all, this photo is dedicated to those of you that have BEEN THERE. Those of you that have exhausted all available options. To those that have actually used your hand to scrape warm and squidgy-brown shit from between your legs.
[By the way, my mother took this photo. Yes, ours is a special relationship. Freud would have a field day.]
Related posts:
Oh, you didn’t reveal that last (wrong word alert) nugget of information when it mattered!
My Photographic eye compliments emphasis on CLAW HAND (TM) and of course thigh. But we know about thigh.
I am going to buy a multipack of Andrex, post haste.
January 14th, 2010 at 9:57 amnearly happened to me yesterday, remembered the emergency snot-roll from downstairs before embarking on my mission.
(couldn’t your mum have passed you some, rather than take pics, or did I miss the point?)
January 14th, 2010 at 11:08 amYou are thinking about it too much
Thank God for the emergency snot-roll!
I think they call it ‘THE CLAW (TM)’ Abi…
January 14th, 2010 at 12:46 pm[...] Sebastian’s JUST DO IT [...]
January 14th, 2010 at 1:56 pmIn some countries, they use their hand everytime they wipe. That’s why the only shake with the opposite hand, and to offer the wiping hand when shaking is considered an insult.
January 14th, 2010 at 2:45 pmYep, Arab states. They wipe and then fling against the opposite wall.
That’s why they only eat with one hand also (and thus all the flat breads that they use to scoop stuff up with!)
January 14th, 2010 at 2:50 pmOh yes. But if I lived there Seb, you’d never run out.
HAHA! Well this happened once in a public restroom. I had to pee so bad that I didn’t even look. Then I fell onto the seat, which was wet, and my friend was in the next stall laughing because she knew I fell onto someone else’s stuff. No toilet paper obviously, and she had none in her stall. Thankfully, I stopped at the ATM and then bought gas so I had two receipts in my purse. I got the ATM receipt and she got the gas receipt. Neither of us was feeling very fresh. We couldn’t even wash our hands because there as a coupe having sex on the sink counter. That was the night we went to see Paramore. Coincidentally, very near the big sports arena (where we were) is a mecca for prostitution. I got to see it firsthand! Yay for travels!
January 14th, 2010 at 3:17 pmWow.
That’s one hell of a story.
Really… on the sink counter… when you came out of the stall…? I didn’t think that shit actually occurred in real life.
January 14th, 2010 at 3:22 pmSeb, you continue to push the boundaries of what is acceptable to blog about.
I love it
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/e4/Origffruustration.jpg
January 14th, 2010 at 4:34 pmAh, the splashing…
I’m sure we’ve all been there.
Is it actually, like, a problem? I mean, I’ve thought about it — the water shoots up, but is that water contaminated? I guess it depends how far through the ritual you are…
January 14th, 2010 at 4:39 pmHahaha your last two TMI’s should win an award, I’m not even kidding. Thanks for the idea next time I don’t have tissues / sprays broke down, Sebbie.
January 14th, 2010 at 4:59 pmbahahaha your ads are quite evolving
January 14th, 2010 at 8:22 pmwell, before that phase, you undo the cardboard of the tube and try to use that. since its a little rounded, it might act as a good scoop/scraper.
just saying.
also – was reading around a bit – i’m a girl who plays WoW! i started about two months ago, so i suppose you’d classify me as a noob, although i like to think i do some nice dps (46 – maybe 7, can’t remember – blood elf mage on greymane).
January 14th, 2010 at 10:26 pmAnd your English skills are growing weak old man!
January 14th, 2010 at 10:40 pmI can’t believe I never thought of using the roll itself…
All these years! That’s crazy. The kind of idea only a girl could come up with I guess. Men are a lot more, er… brute-force…
January 14th, 2010 at 10:44 pmI literally shuddered a bit…
January 15th, 2010 at 8:29 pmLOL i believe it has happened to everyone. We dont really use toilet paper at most home, but wash instead…(hence the place is freakin wet).
love the pic…i could sleep in that bathroom!
January 15th, 2010 at 9:35 pmYa! I was going to say, toilet paper is quite a Western thing too… I would guess that more people in the world DON’T use paper…
It gets a bit cold at night
January 15th, 2010 at 9:44 pmHahaha. I just ran out of toilet paper last night and will be making sure it’s in my grocery list today. I don’t wanna “Just do it” ewww…Not saying it hasn’t happened but forget I said that.
January 17th, 2010 at 3:10 amLOL…ya, I know. Think of it as ’saving the earth’ using less paper
.
Yeah i would understand it gets cold at night especially if you dont want your butt to freeze in winter….I love living in the tropical climate!!
January 17th, 2010 at 3:12 pm