Yeah right, like I would make an entire post about something as dry as my new year’s resolutions! You must’ve realised by now that I rarely blog in that way. It’s more like a timeless classic ’round these parts of the Internet: if you picked a random entry from the archives, chances are you wouldn’t be able to place it. Chances are, it would be a rant that really has nothing to do with the day it was written.
Except for posts like these. There are cultural customs that one is expected to pander (cater?) to. It’s just not done to skip the Christmas greeting card or message of goodwill. It would be like not bringing a celebratory birthday cake to school, or not saying ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes in England. I’m could get away without singing Auld Lang Syne – but not telling you my new year’s resolutions? I’m simply not that cruel.
It’s often said that new year’s resolutions can be as wild or as crazy as you like, but they should be, by some measure, attainable. I think some people will say that it’s good to have a mad, seemingly-unreachable target — something you can’t possibly do in one year — but I think that’s more of a goal. A resolution is an agreement you make with yourself. It’s something about you that will change in the coming year. I guess they are little steps towards a grander goal.
I was thinking earlier (I know, scary)… and my mind turned to the subject of apathy. It’s a state of indifference, ambivalence — not caring one way or the other. Steak or pasta; who cares. We don’t start off like that, you know. From a very young age we know exactly what we want and when we want it. Spaghetti now. Toys now. Walking now. Learning to talk now. In each of these endeavours we nearly always succeed. It’s a mix of parental supervision and guidance, and our own force of will — but we do it because we’re not aware of failure being an option.
But then we fail. We fall, we tumble, we hurt ourselves — we fail spectacularly, pick ourselves back up and carry on. But it takes its toll, those failures. Eventually we become apathetic towards a single cause — food, finding love, whatever — and then other causes, and eventually we wither away into nothingness.
All because of a few pesky failures that snowball. We make a mountain out of millions of mole hills and then we die. Mors ultima linea rerum est.
That’s basically life laid out in its entirety. There’s some other stuff in there too, but mostly it’s just a path, route, litany or culmination of failures.
What if we don’t fail?
What if we never hurt ourselves or suffer hunger or have our heart broken… would life then be really, really grand? I think so.
That’s the whole point of new year’s resolutions: ‘This is a list of things I will not fail at for an entire year.’ I suppose, if you’re good at it, those things could stick for ever, leaving you with a new list of resolutions each year. Slowly but surely you could become a better, happier person.
The key of course is making resolutions that are actually possible.
Back to the original thought: how many people are living a life they don’t want or are unhappy with? How many people wanted to be a fireman but aren’t or can’t? How about those that simply want to be in love, in a happy relationship, but haven’t succeeded? I can’t begin to imagine how empty that feeling of failure (or loss?) must be.
Make a resolution that you can keep, that pushes you towards something you’ve always wanted to be or do. Then take another step. And another!
In that frame of mind, here are my resolutions for 2010:
- Hang photos in a gallery, or exhibition of my work
- Write a kick-ass short story
- Find a pliable, wholesome woman to have my wicked way with
- Visit a new continent and experience new civilizations… to boldly go…!
MentalSarcasm
Jan 4, 2010
“All because of a few pesky failures that snowball. We make a mountain out of millions of mole hills and then we die.”
Ah, but not everyone does, there are plenty of people that fail and then try again. And if they didn’t try then civilisation wouldn’t get anywhere. We wouldn’t have people scaling Everest now if Hillary had given up after slipping on a bit of ice
I’ve only got one resolution this year, to work hard, I’m saving the “actively look for a relationship” one for next year, because by then my Mum will be going “when I was your age I’d already got married and had you” XD
the girl in stiletto
Jan 4, 2010
i’m curious about the wicked way…. hmmm.
sebastian
Jan 4, 2010
Oh I would say that Hilary succeeded a hell of a lot more than your average Joe. Imagine how many successes he must’ve had before he attempted Everest. You don’t get that kind of confidence without being very, very good at what you do, and backing from friends, family, your country, etc.
My mother had me when she was 24, so unfortunately I’m already past that point… but my sister might still save the day!
How curious, Stiletto…? Cat-killing, or… just… slightly?
Hezabelle
Jan 4, 2010
You know, in my three months in England only ONE English person said Bless You when I sneezed. Which is weird, because if you sneeze in Canada, like every person around you says it…
Not the point of the post, eh? Good resolutions! Maybe I’ll come see your exhibition!
Sara Strand
Jan 4, 2010
First of, define your version of “pliable” and “wholesome”…
Second, I think being in love at least once, even if your heart is broken, is better than never being in love at all. At least then you can say you felt it- that you felt the magnetic charge you get when you fall in love- even if it isn’t given back to you. It’s a wonderful feeling, and I’ve only had that real thrill once, which is with my husband. But it doesn’t last, that feeling, and being in a marriage when you aren’t sure if you should be anymore is bizarre. I mean, I flip between feeling like this is only temporary, this angst, and that surely things will get better if I try harder and do better and flop between feeling like this sucks and I want out and he’s an asshole. So I don’t know what to do about that bit, but in the end, I figure my head will just snap together and I’ll know what to do.
But my resolution is to actually lose weight this year. No more pissy efforts and giving up. I’ll boot camp my ass and if nothing else, I’ll start the starvation routine. This weight is coming off by god. LOL>
sebastian
Jan 4, 2010
Must be like the Christian church, Hez… back when I was a KID, everyone said bless you! But it’s already failing eh…
(Having said that, the custom is already like 500 years old, so it’s about time it ended… not like we still have the darn plague!)
Yes, you should come see the exhibition
I’ll even give you a private tour around the displays.
Sara — definitely better to have known love at least once. But I don’t know if having your heart broken once is better than never… it’s a tough one. It’s just sad that two of the greatest emotions are so intrinsically tied together — no surprise, but sad.
Good luck with the weight loss. I’m actually on a small diet myself at the moment
joemill
Jan 4, 2010
I couldn’t agree more! That’s exactly the point of having resolutions, to ATTAIN them during the year. Hope you achieve all of them!
Happy New Year!
sebastian
Jan 4, 2010
Cheers, Joe — I hope you made some good ones too… ones that you will keep!
Abi
Jan 4, 2010
Those experiences don’t ALWAYS result in apathy, you know. What about the times we fall, only to pick ourselves up and succeed all over again, more magnificent than before? In that instance, I’m sorry but apathy is an excuse. Something designed to stop us from taking that risk in the first place, because if we don’t care, we can’t fail.
And resolutions are not set in stone, they can be as flexible as you allow your life to be.
(P.S Still confused as to what I am supposed to “like” about this)
A
sebastian
Jan 4, 2010
Hm… how many chipper, optimistic geriatrics do you know?
There are some, certainly. But old people mostly tell cautionary tales, no? Rather than ‘this is how I conquered the world’ or equivalent. Because not many people succeed — or they might succeed, but not fulfill some wish/desire/drive that they’ve had within them since they were young. Failure isn’t simply a matter of falling over. It can be a little thing, something not quite right, not quite completed.
‘Something designed to stop us’ — what’s that? God? Or some other intangible?
Elle
Jan 4, 2010
Fingers crossed that you have a fabbity 2010 ahead of you!
Abi
Jan 4, 2010
Well I suppose it is simply how you view the world, in terms of what we CAN achieve rather than what we cannot/have not/ lost/ didn’t quite manage. When advising others it is easy to talk in terms of cautionary advice in the hope that they will avoid the “failures”. Hindsight works like that.
Yet the failures you talk about here seem to me to be self imposed by the individual- what is deemed a success to one person may not be even approaching that to another. You can go your whole life never “succeeding” in your own eyes and imposing restrictions along the way, which may impact greatly on the way your life turns out. Anything is possible within the realms of our own capabilities- to have loved once is an achievement in the scheme of a life… yet to lose that love may also be viewed as a failure in the respect that it was unsustainable. Was the whole thing a failure? Do you resolve to never love again and succumb to apathy? Or do we use that minor glitch to help us succeed the next time?
What I was trying to say is that apathy as a result of “self imposed” failure can often mask successes yet to come! It puts a lid on possibility and potential, if anything thwarts success in life it is that.
Adrienne
Jan 5, 2010
That was very encouraging. Though I disagree with the notion that if we never got hurt, made mistakes, or failed that life would be “grand.” It’s those moments that are most valuable because we learn from them – we do better next time, make better choices. Otherwise, we’d be spoiled little punks.
sebastian
Jan 5, 2010
Hehe, the classic argument… does pain make us better or worse people?
Does pain/failure/loss make us more appreciative of what we’ve got…? Is life better or worse as seen through pained eyes?
I don’t have an answer to that one, but… I err towards ‘no pain is better’.
I don’t consider myself spoilt by the way… but lucky!
the girl in stiletto
Jan 5, 2010
not just “slightly” but not “cat-killing” either. more like cat-choking and smash to the wall.
grotesque. ahah!