Instructions: Hit the buttons. Order doesn’t really matter, but most phrases are grouped into ‘types’. Also, visit Lilu’s blog for more grossness, after you’ve had a fiddle with my soundboard.

Tips: You don’t have to wait for one sound to finish before you start another. Also, you might want to turn your volume down a little…

(If you can’t see the Flash soundboard below, you need to visit my blog.)

By all means let me know of any particularly nasty/nefarious combinations that you can come up with. And let me know if you use it, er, in the bedroom too.

My weekend in bullet points (with photos)


I am a tall, hairy, British writer who blogs about technology, photography, travel, and whatever else catches my eye.



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