… and orated dramatically by me.

Slash fiction, or ‘slash fan fiction’, is a dark and worrisome genre of literature. If fan fiction wasn’t bad enough — really, who cares what Snape does on his day off? — slash fiction usually involves the destruction of an entire fictional universe for the sole purpose of the writer (and, sadly, the readers) getting their jollies. Harry Potter, being the most successful series of all time, has attracted more than its fair share of slash fic: seriously, almost any ‘combo’ you can think of has been done: Ron and Harry, Harry and Snape, lots of Harry and Malfoy… Dumbledore and Hagrid… dragons and Hagrid…

You get the idea. Slash fic is nasty… which is why I’ve included a few quotes from my favourite Harry Potter flash fiction in this week’s soundboard. The five buttons on the right definitely class as ‘too much information’, and I wouldn’t click them at work. You should also check out Lilu’s blog for more TMI — again, when you get home.

So, as with last week’s Pillow Talk Soundboard, the instructions are as follows: click the buttons. You can click multiple buttons at the same time, but it’ll probably just be confusing. I’m particularly proud of the last few spells; maybe a future of voice acting awaits… or not.

If you can’t see the soundboard below, you need to visit my blog.

P.S. most of the slash fan fiction quotes came from an entry at Topless Robot. It’s quite the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read, and highly recommend you read it… if you like that kind of thing.

Forest, scrub and horsegasm
Video test, Canon 550D, in which I babble


I am a tall, hairy, British writer who blogs about technology, photography, travel, and whatever else catches my eye.