‘General’

At last! My new bedding is COMPLETE!

For the last few months I’ve been trying to troubleshoot my sleeping problems. Looking through the archives, it seems I first reported trouble sleeping over a year ago — yikes! — and then a few months ago I alluded to some continuing issues. I think things have been improving, but I’ll be damned if I can attribute that to any one change! I’ve been exercising regularly (cycling for a few miles every day), and of course I’ve travelled quite a lot this year which has given my mind the SPACE it needs. It’s amazing: the moment I leave my room (which is usually only when I travel), my composure completely changes. I don’t think I’m particularly highly-strung at the worst of times, but when I travel I’m positively mellow.

So, anyway, the bedding! First I got a fancy 400-thread Egyptian cotton bed sheet and a nice protector to go under it. That didn’t help much (though it does feel really good to slide up and down against), so I got new pillows and covers. They helped a bit. Then earlier this week my newest (and most expensive, eep!) purchases arrived: a Hungarian goose down duvet, and a 400-thread Egyptian cotton duvet cover. Today I spent a few minutes re-making my bed — and as you can see from the creases, I am yet to lay on it! I’m looking forward to tonight, that’s for sure.

You’re all invited to come and try out my new bedding, incidentally! Come! There’s plenty of space.

* * *

In other news, it looks like I’ll be in San Francisco in the middle of September. Microsoft is flying me out there for a software launch event! From what I can tell, official business will only last for a day, which means I should be able to spend a few days exploring San Francisco. Do any Angelenos want to come up and see me?! I doubt I’ll make it down to LA unless I can squeeze a whole week out of the trip.

* * *

Herceg Novi, last swimmer #1

Photography-wise, I’m glad to say that my exhibition of photos from the Faroe Islands went well. I also sold a few photos from Norway! At last!

I updated my Montenegro gallery, so you can now buy those too. The gallery on this site is actually the most complete collection — Flickr is still missing a few, which I will update in the next few days.

I think that’s all for now…!

I just preened at being told I look younger than I actually am… this is a first…

Today, with 26 glorious and fun-packed years behind me, I was told that I look younger than a friend who is actually a year younger than me.

My response really, really surprised me. I actually beamed! I preened! I flicked my frickin’ hair!

It wasn’t like I was being paid a compliment either — they were just making a fleeting comparison. ‘Who’s older, you or him?’-  ’Me’ - Oh, you look younger than him…’

I can’t believe I responded so strongly… perhaps I am more vain than I thought… or maybe I really am worried about growing old…

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Montenegrin exports

Zoom in on a little, diesel Volkswagen, buzzing and sputtering across the sparse, orange Croatian scrub. It’s a taxi, though there are no signs or licenses or anything like that. Thinking back, I probably shouldn’t have entrusted my life to a man with only a fistful of teeth, a vibrating dashboard and no taxi-driving license. But still, when you have to catch a flight, what are your options?

So, there we are, bouncing quickly across a rough Croatian road. It’s safe to say that the Croatians don’t look after their roads as well as their Montenegrin brethren. The road was hazardous — you know, the kind where your car can jump left or right into the ditch if you don’t keep a firm grip of the wheel — which wouldn’t normally have been a problem, but unfortunately the taxi driver was a SHOUTER and GESTICULATOR. Seriously, what were the odds? Not only was my taxi falling apart, but every time the taxi driver spoke he turned his head, leaned close so that his lips were only a few inches from my ear, lifted one hand off the steering wheel and BELLOWED into my EAR.

He didn’t even speak English! I thought speaking slowly… and… loudly… was a British… tourist… thing… but no! So he’s shouting Montenegrin into my ear. I’m keeping my eyes on the road, my hand within striking distance of the wheel or handbrake. From my limited grasp of the language, I can tell he’s talking about Montenegro (Crna Gora), about how he’s proud of his nation. “CRNA GORA!” he shouts and I can feel spittle landing on my earlobe. He makes a kind of wobbling gesture with his hand, accompanied by whooshing noises. “Airplane?” – “Da! AIRPLANE!” – “Crna Gora…exports?” — “DA! DA! EXPORTS!”

At this point, he takes both hands off the steering wheel. I don’t know if the car stuck to the road by magic, or whether it just happened all too quickly for anything bad to happen. He starts counting on one hand, while gesticulating Montenegro’s main exports with the other.

“VINO!”, a finger up on one hand, and a swigging motion with the other.

“MASLINOVO ULJE!”, another finger up, and a sprinkling motion with the other.

“PIČKA!”, whereupon he balls both hands into fists and makes a monumental thrusting motion with his hips. The car veers quickly to the left and I, with protean dexterity, grab the steering wheel. He doesn’t even say thank you, just nods and smiles.

So there you have it, the three main exports of Montenegro, according to a crazy taxi driver are wine, olive oil and pussy.

A few photos of Montenegro

I just had my first solid poop in four days! To celebrate, here are a handful of pretty photos from all over Montenegro, the  pint-sized jewel of the Adriatic Sea. For a country with 600,000 citizens and an area of just 5,000 square miles — i.e. one of the smallest countries in the world — there sure is a lot to see and do here.

I’ll post a lot more photos once I’m back in England, on Tuesday. If you want to see more, visit Flickr. You can’t buy these photos just yet, but I’ll fix that when I get home.

This morning I sent bug boy a frozen hornet in the post

A couple of weeks ago I was contacted by someone I’ve never met before via Flickr. He had found my stream by searching for hornets and obviously liked what he saw, because he emailed me to ask if I had any more hornets that I could send him. Really, I was cold-called and asked if I could capture a hornet and send it across the country so that he could have his wicked way with its… antennae… and… mandibles.

He even told me how to deal with the hornet, once I’d caught it. ‘Freeze it’ he said. ‘Just pop it in the freezer for a few hours and then send it over.’

And so I did. Two weeks had passed, but last night a hornet flew into my room — and I flew into action! I cowered behind my door, biding my time, as always (I’ve been bitten by hornets before). Eventually he settled down on the woodwork of my sash windows and KABLAM! I struck, catching it ‘neath a cup. Then I murdered the poor bastard by putting him in the freezer. It was actually the first time I’ve intentionally killed an insect. I felt rotten.

Why though? Why did some guy want one of my hornets?

To draw it! He’s a frickin’ artist and an incredibly talented one at that. He likes insects (and collects and rears insects!) — and who am I to deny him one of my many hornets?

I killed, but it was in the name of art! Worse things have been done for creative ends.

* * *

I fly off to Montenegro on Wednesday. I’m aware that I still haven’t written much about it. It’s very hot and humid in England right now, and typing with sweaty fingers is horrible and laborious. But, yeah, Montenegro is actually a vacation for me. I will take some photos, but the primary purpose for this trip is to relax. It’s hard to describe just how mentally exhausting my current lifestyle is. I need to unplug for just a little while.

Elif Shafak: The politics of fiction

Who knew that a woman could be so well spoken?!

I kid, I kid…

But no, seriously, who knew that life, culture and political geography, could be so accurately described using circle-shaped metaphors?!

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52 Weeks, update

For the last few weeks of our 52 Weeks project, I will be putting our collaborations both on the project’s dedicated site, and here on the front page of the blog.

I figured lots of you might not have seen the project, or even heard of it, and the year is almost at an end! Ach, time goes by so quickly…

Also, you will notice the side bar change when you’re looking at a 52 Weeks entry. That’s kind of by design, and kind of because I can’t work out how to disable it gracefully…

P.S. I’m flying to Montenegro next week! I should write some more about that.

Paul Romer’s radical idea: Charter cities

I’m filing this one under ‘cool things I should try out when I’m emperor‘.

I really lack the economic background to comment properly on this, but it sounds really cool.

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Is left-handed masturbation juicier?

I’ve been told before that my brain and its thought processes work in weird yet wonderful ways.

The truth is, I only share a tiny fraction of what actually goes on in this wacky head of mine. Most of it gets contemplated, researched and then filed away, only to be brought up in relevant conversation. But not this time! This time you get the raw, unfiltered stream of consciousness.

So, there I was… sitting… as one does. I wasn’t actually masturbating, but I was thinking about masturbation. (This often happens when I look at my hands, for some reason.) I was wondering what percentage of right-handed people masturbate with their left hand.

Without being gratuitous, I think everyone can appreciate that some flexibility is necessary when it comes to gratification. But, at the end of the day, everyone has a favourite hand. So I got to wondering: is there a statistically significant number of right-handers that consider their left land the primary go-to tool for tickling the bits?

And if so, why? (I told you I think about weird things…)

Being the scientist that I am, I immediately thought of brain lateralization, where each half of your brain (we think) controls specific functions. The left hemisphere is considered to be the ‘routine’ half, where repetitive actions (speech, wiping your ass) and ‘linear reasoning’ (maths, calculation) are performed. The left hemisphere also controls your right hand. The right hemisphere is thought to be in charge of creative thinking and reasoning through novel (unexpected, new) experiences. The right hemisphere processes audio and visual stimuli. The right hemisphere controls your left hand.

You can probably see where this is going, but I’ll continue anyway. When we use our left hand, our brain’s right hemisphere is more active. It’s believed that left-handers are generally more creative and artistic — well, what if, by masturbating with our left hand, we momently become more creative, more attuned to our audio and visual stimuli?

I could be wrong — it might simply be that we need our right hand to push the mouse around — but, well, I think I need to put my theory into practice and get some empirical evidence.

Feel free to help me with this scientific endeavour, and please report your findings.

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Psychiatric diagnosis? Pah! Here comes neurological diagnosis!

via ted.com

Watch it, it’s only 7 minutes. I think you’ll find it unsurprising that most people have tagged it as ‘jaw-dropping’.

She makes an incredibly good point, and one that strikes very close to some ideas that have been whizzing around my brain recently. Why do we use physical manifestations to diagnose mental pathology?

We actually diagnose things like depression, ADHD and autism based on observed behaviour. No proof, no science, just… interpretation of physical manifestation. It’s crazy. It’s barbaric. It’s like using leeches to suck out your melancholia. It really makes no sense, when you think about it — as the speaker says in the video: we don’t diagnose a heart condition without first using the technology available! In fact, you’d probably get a medical malpractice suit if you did — yet psychiatrists continue to diagnose children with reckless abandon.

As you can see from the talk, we now have the technology to scan the brain and deduce any extant mental maladies with excellent accuracy. It’s safe, it’s quick and it’s non-invasive. Look at those happy children in the video! Marvel (or glumly gawp) at how many kids with autism, ADHD or any other learning disability might be suffering from something else — something that can be remedied with non-psychoactive drugs. 

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