(This follows on from my eventful stay in Istanbul — you can read part 1 or part 2 of my Istanbul story, if you want to ‘catch up’! There are photos in this story, towards the end.)

After a 3 day stay in Istanbul I said goodbye to the creepy carpet salesmen, the beautiful mosques and ankle-breaking cobbles (Rome was worse on the cobble-front, but only just). I jumped on a rather large commercial jet down to Antalya, the beach tourism capital of Turkey — Istanbul has the culture, and Antalya has the mile-long golden beaches and 18-30 clubs. Just a slight change from its role as naval base for Pergamon back in 150BC.

I didn’t see much of the beaches, mind. I was too busy exploring the lovely ‘old city’ of Antalya (called Kaleici) which was a lot more exciting than the over-developed touristy strip that ran the length of the beach (and thus the entire city). It was on the way back to lovely hotel (some kind of huge, converted barn), from the old city, that I took a shortcut through the ghetto.

I didn’t know it was the ghetto at the time, obviously. You see, I have a very good built-in compass. I can run around a very busy city all day and then work out which side-road I can take to ‘cut the corner’ back to my hotel. It’s a great ability, and it’s saved me a lot of time during my travels. It’s also led me into some interesting places… like the Antalya Ghetto. I think the first hint was the smell; the smell hit my senses like hammer. Hoping to ‘push through’ this entirely new and unpleasant smell, I started to descend into some kind of subway (I have no idea why in hindsight, but it was in the right direction, so…)

I reached the bottom of the stairs and looked around.

Now, I’m sure most of you will agree that pet stores are fairly cruel to the animals. It can’t be fun for the animals, caged up day after day, awaiting some kind soul to buy them. I tell you, pet stores had nothing on this underground pit of animal depravity. I’d found the source of the smell; hell, I’d hit the mother lode of all disgusting smells — pet shop after pet shop. In what was obviously some kind of shopping mall 10 or 15 years ago, there was now about ten (10!) shops peddling poorly nourished pets. This was pet central for Antalya, I guess. I won’t go into too much detail, as it’s probably fairly upsetting to read about, but let’s just say that you shouldn’t put 10 rabbits in a meter-square cage. And not clean it out for a week.

Moving on from the Petshop Promenade of Doom… the highlight of my stay in Antalya was undoubtedly my trip to Thermessos (historically Termessos), the unsurmountable and unconquerable Pisidian city that sits a mile up the mountain of Solymos (it’s actually in the Taurus Mountains, which I didn’t know until now — that’s my star sign!). Because of its location (at the top of a damn mountain), and because Alexander the Great decided that it wasn’t worth the effort, it’s now one of the finest-preserved ancient cities in the world.

About half way into the climb up the side of the treacherous rocky mountainside, a path strewn with sharp-as-glass ancient marble chips, I began to realise why Alexander gave up. It was that kind of wise decision that probably let him conquer and rule the expansive Macedon empire.

Being less-wise than the Great, I continued to pick my way up the path. I knew I was getting close when I started walking over meter-thick chunks of marble that were once the outer city walls. It was rather odd climbing up steps made of the crumbled remains of a 2500 year old city. I knew now why the guy at the ticket office (you have to pay about 1 euro to be allowed onto this highly touristic mountain climb of death) took one look at my tarantulan legs and said in broken English ‘They will be useful!’

I finally crested the last few meters of the climb and was rewarded with a staggering view over the valley below the mountain.

The photo shows what much of the run-down city was like: nature meets ancient civilisation. The past 2500 years have left the city in pretty bad shape, with all sorts of rare plant species growing through and around ancient temples of Zeus and Artemis. It was pretty spooky walking around an ancient city, not a sound to be heard except for the chirp of crickets. I didn’t see a single person for my entire stay… in June!

I think my favourite moment was standing at the focus of a 5,000-seat theatre and singing at the top of my lungs. Well, more like shouting. For a brief moment I was transported back in time, to a time when great Greek orators and philosophers such as Demosthenes or Plato ruled the roost and enlightened people the world over hung onto their words. For a moment, standing there, I was one too! Hopefully I wasn’t just experiencing the past; hopefully it was more of an omen of things to come.

I’m afraid there’s no cliff-hanger to this little story, I just wanted to talk about my exploration of Thermessos. The next story is a whole lot more exciting though, as I decided to venture into a rather deep cave, a mile up another mountain and about 10 miles from the nearest town. Obviously I didn’t die or anything, or I wouldn’t be here to tell the tale… but it was a close call. My bones almost joined those of our ancestors that made their home in the caves of Karain 200,000 years ago!

(Assuming we have a maker, of course… It would be hard to meet a big primeordial clump of star dust. He wouldn’t be very talkative at least)

This continues from story from Thermessos, Antalya in Turkey.

Descending from Thermessos was a lot quicker than the hazardous climb up. I got to enjoy the view all of the way too, as I was less focused on trying not to pass out from the strain. The only exercise I get is when I’m on holiday, so it always comes as a bit of a system shock when I decide to throw my unfit and moobed geeky body into a mile-long hike up a mountain.

Catching my breath, I knocked on the window of the taxi to wake up my driver (he’d locked the door, even though there wasn’t anyone else for miles around). For most people, a trip to Thermessos would be enough to fill a whole day of a holiday; not for a traveller that’s travelling alone! I could hardly head back to the hotel in the middle of the day. I didn’t fancy sitting on a beach. The only real option was to continue exploring; it was why I came to Turkey, right?

So I’d hired this taxi driver to drive me around Antalya for the day. It worked out very cheap — far cheaper than one of the tour groups — and I could go anywhere I liked! I think it cost about 30 euros to be driven around for 6 hours; I couldn’t complain… or could I? <dramatic beat>

We had arrived at Karain. The taxi parked and I stepped out. I was greeted with a little museum with yet another ominous path leading up an even steeper-looking mountain than Thermessos’.

‘Here we go again…’

This time it only cost me about half a euro and at least the first 100 meters of the climb had a nice all-weather path. After that it turned into rocky shelves cut into the mountainside, but beggars can’t be choosers. God knows there was no one to complain to anyway. It was well into the afternoon now and I was getting pretty hot. I was running out of water fast. I figured I should probably take some nice photos, so at least when the hunting dogs finally discovered my corpse I would have a lasting photographic legacy.

I was almost the top when I took that photo. Apparently the plains you see below are highly fertile, and the reason the cave of Karain has been inhabited since the Paleolithic age. These cave men would’ve gone out to hunt and then returned to these caves (safe havens, due to their seclusion, and the fact they’re a mile up a mountain…) to prepare and cook their food.

The caves of Karain are incredibly special because historians have tracked continued inhabitance for 25,000 years. People lived in them until 1700AD! That means while the Egyptians were building pyramids, or the Sumerians were discovering polytheism, people were hanging out in the caves of Karain. They might’ve discovered how to work iron or bronze in these caves; they are old. Prehistorically old.

Tt was pretty cool, then,  to be traipsing around these dark, deep caves. Sitting and enjoying a sandwich where cave men might’ve once sat and spit-roasted wild boar. Of course there was a few romantic scrawlings carved into the walls, but I felt that was only fitting, considering how many people have probably had sex there, over the years. Imagine how many generations were conceived there, over a 200,000 year period. I was probably sitting in the most sexed-up spot in the world!

It was after eating my sandwich, and a little more wondering around, I suddenly wished Turkey had embraced tourism a little more. I’d taken one turn too many and suddenly found myself in a rather dark and dank portion of the cave. Quickly whirling around, looking for some hint of the way out, I lost my footing and fell onto my ass.  I then started sliding down a rather steep ramp and finally faceplanted into one of those rather spikey-looking walls that you can see in the photo above.

‘Ow.’

I sat still for a while, trying to regain my senses. I was concussed, but fortunately I’m blessed with a very rational mind. I only screamed for help a couple of times before I realised it was stupid. No one could hear me scream (hah). I’m not sure how long I was there — there’s no sunlight in there — but it was probably for an hour or so. It was actually the thought of my poor taxi driver sitting, waiting at the foot of the mountain that drove me to think of a solution; well, and the fact that I was way too young to die.

Extending my telescopic monopod, I used it to support my weight as I slowly got to my feet. I gradually worked my way out of the cave, one step at a time. After a day trip into the middle of no where, it was definitely time to head back to civilisation and the associated luxuries… like paths… and other people.

I did manage to take one hell of a photo from outside the cave though. It was ironic that the profession that had almost killed me — chasing the perfect photo — also saved my life. Go monopod!

I spent another couple of days in Antalya (you can find more photos in my Turkey collection) but finally I said goodbye to the tourist trap, packed my bags, and headed off to Izmir… and Ephesus!