Well, to put it as simply as I can --
Good and evil are so close as to be chained together in the soul.
Man isn't truly one, but two. Now what if we could break that chain --
separate those two selves --

(his face alight, lost in his subject)

To free the good in man, and let it go on to its higher destiny... to segregate the bad in man --
and let it destroy itself in its own degradation!

Spencer Tracey said it so eloquently in the 1941 film version of Jekyll & Hyde, the story of a brilliant scientist — Dr Jekyll — trying to separate good from evil. While the book itself isn’t considered a ‘classic’ it has created a massive amount of spin-off works — other books, films, TV shows and, most importantly, a musical! The story looks at the duality of the human psyche: good and evil. It actually seems to be very close to the Freudian theory that evil thoughts banished to your unconscious mind impact on your conscious (’good’) mind, ultimately resulting in an the eruption of your very own Mr Hyde.

We should embrace and nurture both our naughty and nice sides, basically, lest we turn into weird and depraved creatures of the night.

Regarding the musical (which many people consider to be overly dramatic and a bit lacking in substance), it’s well worth watching just to marvel at a single actor performing a duet on his own, both as Dr Jekyll and the beast Hyde. Lots of frantic head turning and make-up is required! It’s actually one of my favourite musicals, and I have my first girlfriend at university to thank for introducing me to it (she’s the one I turned gay, for those of you trying to keep up…)

Anyway, that attempt at intelligent discourse brings me neatly onto the topic of the split personality that I developed in Chapter 3 of Day 37, my epic video diary of a poor guy slowly (well, not so slowly it seems…) going insane in a bunker. It occured ot me that you probably couldn’t quite appreciate my good and evil ‘duality’ with the poor quality of my video camera. So, not wanting to disappoint, I prepared this lovely composite showing both my good and evil sides.

Have a nice weekend! I’m off now to go and terrorise some local grocery stores. I’m going to walk in once, only displaying my evil side and ask for booze and cigarettes. Then I’m going to walk in again, this time displaying my scarily-young-and-pretty side, asking the shop attendant with a straight face ‘Have you seen my evil twin brother?’ I’ll let you know of the results…

I know it sounds like a treatise of utmost, contemporary importance, but actually it’s just a recap of a few things that I’ve been up to in the past week, and what’s to come.

If you’re an avid Sebite (OK, perhaps it’s too early to go and deify myself) you’re probably well-aware of the what’s to follow… but it wouldn’t do any harm to read all about what’s hapnin’ (too much Marvin Gaye!) here on my blog.

First of all, I am still running a fantastic competition that everyone should enter. It’s free to enter, you just need to tell me what you’re most passionate about. It can be good, or bad, or ugly — just something that really gets your juices going. The prize is some original art which I will lovingly craft for you, using my awesome photographic skills, which you will be able to use for your blog, or avatar, or… for anything really! If you still didn’t enter, enter now.

Next, and probably most importantly, I made my debut on YouTube. Not one to pander to peer pressure, I decided that if I wanted to video blog with 3 weeks’ worth of facial hair… I damn well would! Forsaking my razor, shampoo and sanity, I filmed 3 chapters of a ground-breaking and revolutionary drama, Day 37. Follow a hairy, cross-dressing Brit as he slowly loses his sanity after falling into a subterranean bunker. If you missed the link, HERE’S ANOTHER (after watching chapter 1, check out 2 and 3… it gets better!) 200 people have watched me lose my sanity and don a leopard-print spandex shirt… don’t you want to see what all the fuss is about?

Penultimately, for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been taking part in a ‘photographic assignment’. This is basically a group of people that all take photos of a concept or phrase. ‘Watery Wednesday’, ‘Funny Friday’ (alliteration is sadly rife in such communities). There’s an awful lot of them, and they vary in quality a lot. Luckily the one I’ve been taking part in , Skywatch Friday is quite good! Not only do they garner bonus points for a distinct lack of alliteration and word play, my huge stocks of landscape photography tend to feature startling skies. I feel quite at home submitting my landscapes to be admired and pored over by discerning viewers (and, importantly, other landscape photographers!)

There have only been a few ‘That’s nice’ replies so far, which is good…!

I’ve also just taken up another, shared challenge: ‘Motoring Monday’ (…) I think it’s just going to be a one-off though, so I’ve created a new category on the blog for Motoring Monday, Skywatch Friday, and any other photographic assignments that I take part in. Feel free to visit it from time to time, if you want to see some pretty photos — they won’t turn up on the front page of the blog, or the normal RSS feed.

Finally, this week I regained my sex drive. Obviously that’s not really news that’ll stop presses, but it could become news, in the not-so-distant future! Hopefully not the ‘turn up on your doorstep 18 years later’ kind of news, either.

Oh, and because I love the picture just a bit too much (the picture, not myself, it’s an important distinction), I’m just going to stick it in again (!) for everyone to enjoy.

I still look like this, for anyone wondering. Walking around town today was interesting: those on the other side of the road all smiled at me; those I bumped into all quickly stepped away and begged Our Lord for protection…

So I went to that memorial service today!

It was lovely to see old friends, and family; the sheer number of people that turned up was immense. Hundreds and hundreds. There were some lovely eulogies given, and not much crying to be heard. A few sniffles; but lots of big grins as those that attended were dragged back through memory lane to remember the deceased.

Tomorrow’s the funeral proper. I have to wear a skull cap (kippah, yarmulke). I’m a bit excited! I’m wondering if they hand them out at the door: ‘Please, take a skull cap. Smoked salmon’s on the left as you go in. Don’t forget to cry a bit, and mutter in Yiddish when it’s appropriate.’

I kid, I kid…

Anyway, I had to shave today, as a half-beard just ‘wouldn’t be acceptable in today’s day and age’ (gotta love my mother). I didn’t ask her when it would’ve been acceptable…”Back in my day’ would be the answer, I imagine.

Being the camera whore that I am, I requisitioned a new set of photos to comemorate my new beardless — but still stubbly — visage. As my friend Daniel put it: ‘You look about 10 years younger… about 24…’

Just a small variety of the poses I will assume when a camera is pointed at me.

Below is the ‘Oh my, is that really Jesus? He’s early!’ look.

Are we thinking: a) better with beard, b) stubble is good or c) remove the stubble? (Not that I’ll actually listen to your opinions, but my mum always told me it was good to at least pretend that I care)

A few of you doubted that I actually left the house with my ‘dual-beard’ setup.

To those of little faith, I give you: Sebastian goes to the post office.

Not sure why all of the whites have been replaced with pinks — I guess my grandmother’s camera is going through its dying throes.

Afterward, I walked into the post office and stepped up to the little booth with my head down. ‘I need to send something to a friend of mine’ I said rather noncommittally. Then I raised my head and fixed a grim stare at her, grinning with just the evil side of my face. I have to say, she coped rather well! She quite visibly recoiled, a look of concerned disgust on her face, but recovered quickly. There was a quick intake of breath, and she shocked me with what she said next: ”Sure, just put your package on the scales… turn around, and leave this place of sanctity, you vile beast!’

And so I did.

I bet they have a picture of me under their desk now — a grainy, black and white security camera one.  Right next to the panic button.

Ever since I started writing here on this blog, I’ve been trying to work out the best way to tell you.

I alluded to it with numerous posts about musical theatre, and incredibly insightful articles on the inner workings of girls; something that a straight guy could never do, at least not with such alarming accuracy.

I even tried to tell you through my constant use, and love, of pink. My pink t-shirts, my pink scarves, my pink fluffy love-cuffs — I tried it all! Somehow… somehow you kept holding on, praying that it was all a ruse, a lie. He must be straight, surely…

I even thought it might’ve been the beard, so I shaved that off too.

I’ve told you tales of me waxing off my leg hair, and you’ve seen the photo of me with the handlebar moustache and hot-pink shoulder-padded jacket — that’s what I wear most weekends!

And then, of course, there were all those stories — the one about me turning a girl gay, or the next girl running off to become a priest. You didn’t actually think they were real? They were mere fabrications; figments of an imaginary world that I have lived in for the last decade. A world that I conjured into existence in an attempt to convince my family, my friends and myself that I’m straight.

Well, I’m not straight.

I’m gay.

Gay, like Boy George rolling up at Mardi Gras in a baby-pink Mini. Gay.

Time and time again I have sat down to dinner with my mother and father, unable to look them in the eye. ‘Got a girlfriend yet, Seb?’ followed by the words I’ve had to repeat each and every time, year after year: ‘No, not yet, Dad…’

Being a wimp — though, finally coming out must surely be the first step to getting some balls? — I thought I would post this entry, instead of telling my parents in person. They both read this blog.

So that’s that, then.

We have a family dinner tonight. I just know my father won’t be able to keep a straight face when dessert is served and I ask him to pass me the hot fudge sauce.

I need to spread things out as I have a lot of things happening here on the blog this week… so I’m just going to give you a little teaser of the Will Turner cosplay from tonight. Please note the lengths I went to: the beard is almost perfect! I even adapted one of my sister’s belt as a bandolier…

Wow, have I really just become a cosplayer? Next up, me dressed up as Pokémon…

Today, Tuesday, is the first of a few limited-edition one-off ’specials’. You know, like those episodes of Mythbusters where they go to Siberia, or borrow a bunch of high-grade military weapons. Each of these specials will focus on a particular aspect of I, Sebastian, normally featuring some kind of retarded dressing up.

You see, being a roleplayer and an actor, and having a mother that is also an actor and a massive, charismatic extrovert, I often end up in some pretty ridiculous predicaments. In a tutu, as Tinkerbell, or a fluffy bull-body suit as Nana the Dog. I’ve been cowboys (both gay and straight), a mouse in Cinderella, an extra from Dirty Dancing and, yes, I’ve been a pirate.

Quiet a few times, actually. I like wearing eye-liner, what can I say? Actually, I like the attention I get from girls when I wear eye-liner. I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the occasional camp dress-up (most men would be lying if they said that!) Since Pirates of the Caribbean I’ve had 3 chances to get out the smock and saber and taken advantage of every of them!

My first time… (dressing as a pirate)… was in 2004  just after the first film, back when the world was only talking about two things: ‘Isn’t Johnny Depp dreamy? I didn’t think I could love a camp drunk, but in his case…’ and ‘Cor, Orlando Bloom’s a bit of a girl, but damn… he’s cute.’ In fact, about 90% of all girls had a poster of one or the other on their wall. Not one to squander such potential pulling power, my first attempt at Orlando Bloom as Will Turner:

As you can see, I only managed a rapier that time — not quite the right kind of sword, but it did the job, as you can see from the rampant blonde attack. She was moving so quickly that she actually got in and out of the frame in the time it took the photographer to press the button. Drive-by kissing at its finest. This is also one of the very few photos with me wearing glasses and smiling.

Next, we have a fairly generic pirate. This was around the same time that I discovered eye-liner and started wearing it at every possible opportunity; well, whenever I was home alone, anyway. I wonder to this day if my mother noticed her eye-liner pencil going blunt without her use. Maybe she just kept it quiet, for my sake, and for my father’s blood pressure.

I actually wore my facial hair like that for quite some time — I quite liked it (and The American loved it, but that’s another tearjerker for another Time-Travel Thursday), but turns out I looked a bit old and, er, rapist’ish, so I finally stopped trimming my beard like that last year. I still think it’s pretty sexy though…

Finally, we have the new and improved Will Turner that I sported yesterday evening. I gave you a teaser yesterday, but now I’ll give you the other two photos… with a waistcoat and saber, the real deal! Eye-liner, waistcoat, slicked-back hair AND, most importantly, a big frickin’ phallic saber representing my overwhelmingly potent masculinity.

Christ, I think that’s quite enough photos for one day. I’m feeling all self-conscious now. Don’t tell me I messed up the make-up, please girls… my fragile ego just can’t take it.

Tomorrow, assuming the weather gets better, I should have coverage of Eric’s judicious winner-deciding ceremony. It was meant to be today, but it ended up pissing down; Eric doesn’t like rain, y’see…

Good Day readers! This is Floreta from The Solitary Panda, taking over Seb’s blog for the day.
When Seb asked me via Twitter (shameless plug: @solitarypanda) to write a poem about him once I had reached 100 followers, I knew that I owed him one! What better way to share with you a poem about the man himself than through his blog?

The following is a vlog performance of the poem entitled “An Ode to Seb”.

[Make sure you are seated comfortably, and remove any tight clothing... -S]

[The complete text follows, for any historians that might be recording this fateful day, Sebastian immortalised in song... and dance) -S]

An Ode to Seb

When I laid my eyes
Upon that Mythical
Beast
Half beard I saw
the Walrus
Yes, the Walrus was Paul
But damn if he
Didn’t look like a Beatle
With his moptop-ish
Long hair
And big
Brown eyes
Staring back at me like
Paul or maybe
George or
Paul and George all rolled into one!
(I’d totally do Paul and George in one!)
The Fab Seb
Making geek girls scream for
More
In his Space Shuttle
Galactica style
A little healthy
Dose of
Exhibition
Never hurt anyone
I mean
I need a Geek
That can help me
Fix my computer parts
And know how to
Take control
Of my video game
When I can’t beat the boss!
I need a Geek
Who can take pictures of
Mother Nature and then
Mother Nature personified
In actual Female Form
I need a Geek
Who can talk quantum physics and the
Pythagorean Theorem
And then demonstrate
Real world application
Menage-a-trois style
I need a Geek
Who can wrestle me for the remote
And then not even care about the remote
Because I’m so hot he can’t
Dare resist my
Horizontal moves
I mean DAMN
I’m horny
And I’m taking it out
On this poem
An Ode to Seb
I mean
I need a Geek
Who can c0de my template
With sexy syntax scintillating me
Serendipitous sardines
In a Sea of
Bumble Bee Tuna
There are bigger fish
The Fab Seb

[If you like her poetry (or her flair), go and read more at her blog! Or go and listen to my dramatic readings of her poems! -S]

I went to watch Star Trek earlier (which shockingly has an 8.6/10 rating on IMDB at the moment, but that’ll no doubt decrease after all the furiously-flapping fanboys (and girls?) have cast their votes) and it was… great! Exciting, fun, dangerous, loud and very well executed.

Unfortunately, the plot was weak. There was a fantastic beginning, and the ending was energetic but… there wasn’t a middle. So much of the film was spent developing the characters and justifying a new rebirth 40 years after the original series that, other than the fun intro to the characters, and lots of big bangs, there wasn’t a whole lot more to the movie. But, hey, they’ve all signed on for three films (as always, nowadays) so we can expect to see a sequel, if this film’s a success — so go and watch it, and make sure there’s enough interest for a second film!

Syla– er, Spock — was, unsurprisingly, the centerpiece, but he was supported by an often-fantastic entourage of other young starlets. Bones and Scotty — Karl Urban and Simon Pegg — provided some much-needed ‘maturity’ to the film, and some very realistic revivals of their character’s original accents and mannerisms.

Perhaps, most importantly, Jennifer Morisson (of House M.D. fame) had a tiny cameo role at the start of the film. For those of you that don’t know her, she’s the most beautiful girl in the world (well, just behind the Kristen Bell of season one Veronica Mars).

In the film she was pregnant with the soon-to-be-born Captain James T. Kirk and a bit sweaty, but her inner beauty still shone through!

Anyway, I’ve managed to spin this review to at least 300 words, so now I don’t feel too bad showing off my Riker Beard that I crafted specially just for today’s Star Trek viewing. Now, the geeks among you will say that William Riker wasn’t actually in the original Star Trek, but, well… no one in the original Star Trek had a damn beard. I had to branch out a little.

I shaved off the ‘undergrowth’ because, in the words of my ex-girlfriend ‘it makes you look a bit like a paedophile’. Well, at least she was honest. You hear that, Riker?

‘You know, Sebby, you didn’t include the photos from after the Peter Pan show…’

That was my mother, rudely barging into my room. You know, the parental ‘Can I come in?’ manoeuvre, spoken as she opens the door.

Sometimes she takes a while to get to the point, but I already knew where she was going with this one.

‘But mum, I already embarrassed myself enough with the head-in-bowl photo.’

‘Those girls obviously loved you in that doggy outfit, Seb. You have to start thinking about getting a wife, and if that involves dressing up as a dog… I’m sure Moses would turn a blind eye if it meant you could find a nice wife. One that likes doggies.’

And so, through the undeniable power of motherly coercion, I bring you the photos from after the show. Out of the doggy suit and into the emo-kitchen-down-lights that you’re probably all used to by now.

Just remember, this Sunday, that no matter how bad a situation you’re in, how unfortunate circumstances might be, even when it seems like there’s no end to your suffering or sorrow — there’s a guy with pigtails, a blacked-out eye and beard pretending to look like a dog for your benefit.

And that’s Sebby’s Sunday Sermon. Have a nice day!