Good Day readers! This is Floreta from The Solitary Panda, taking over Seb’s blog for the day.
When Seb asked me via Twitter (shameless plug: @solitarypanda) to write a poem about him once I had reached 100 followers, I knew that I owed him one! What better way to share with you a poem about the man himself than through his blog?

The following is a vlog performance of the poem entitled “An Ode to Seb”.

[Make sure you are seated comfortably, and remove any tight clothing... -S]

[The complete text follows, for any historians that might be recording this fateful day, Sebastian immortalised in song... and dance) -S]

An Ode to Seb

When I laid my eyes
Upon that Mythical
Beast
Half beard I saw
the Walrus
Yes, the Walrus was Paul
But damn if he
Didn’t look like a Beatle
With his moptop-ish
Long hair
And big
Brown eyes
Staring back at me like
Paul or maybe
George or
Paul and George all rolled into one!
(I’d totally do Paul and George in one!)
The Fab Seb
Making geek girls scream for
More
In his Space Shuttle
Galactica style
A little healthy
Dose of
Exhibition
Never hurt anyone
I mean
I need a Geek
That can help me
Fix my computer parts
And know how to
Take control
Of my video game
When I can’t beat the boss!
I need a Geek
Who can take pictures of
Mother Nature and then
Mother Nature personified
In actual Female Form
I need a Geek
Who can talk quantum physics and the
Pythagorean Theorem
And then demonstrate
Real world application
Menage-a-trois style
I need a Geek
Who can wrestle me for the remote
And then not even care about the remote
Because I’m so hot he can’t
Dare resist my
Horizontal moves
I mean DAMN
I’m horny
And I’m taking it out
On this poem
An Ode to Seb
I mean
I need a Geek
Who can c0de my template
With sexy syntax scintillating me
Serendipitous sardines
In a Sea of
Bumble Bee Tuna
There are bigger fish
The Fab Seb

[If you like her poetry (or her flair), go and read more at her blog! Or go and listen to my dramatic readings of her poems! -S]

Today is Floreta’s birthday.

If you don’t know Floreta — the Solitary Panda — she’s one of my many geeky online friends (actually, she’s probably even a bit dorky, and if you don’t believe me, just wait until you watch her video blog). She’s a poet and photographer, and likes to while away the hours by putting on dark, pensive make-up and pondering existential conundrums.

Anyway, I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and here’s what she said:

“Seb, that gentle, melodic, breathy British voice of yours really gets me hot under the collar. In fact, when I’m listening to your podcasts, I sometimes have to press pause and… well, take a break, you know? Anyway, it would be totally awesome if you recorded a reading of my poems. It would make my day! And night…”

Who am I to deny a cute Asian girl such a great birthday request? So I recorded two poems, one where I play a gay teenage boy circle-jerking with some other boys (…) and the other is far more serious, about love and fear.

But then, things got interesting. She remembered that I’d asked her to write me a poem, about, er, me. Not only did she want to write me a poem, in return for my dramatic readings, she also wanted to perform the poem. Dramatic-like.

Trust me when I say it’s an experience that you don’t want to miss. She even shimmies. In a gamer geek t-shirt. And gets a little too excited when she says ‘Seb’.

Follow this link for Floreta’s video guest blog and follow this link for my readings of her poems.

I’ve never written poetry before. I just thought I ought to try. The photo underneath is unrelated, but I took it last night and thought it was pretty!

–

Evoke love and conjure desire, elicit tears and laughter inspire, craft dreams and banish doubt.
It is from within the desolate plains of mundane that the artist’s seed and culture sprout.

Bunsen and bellows both brazen and bold,
Latent and chemical and forms untold,
Exploited, excited,
Molded, contorted,
Bent to this engineer’s will.

Were it not for the artist,
Plain it would remain.
Were it not for the engineer,
What would we have,
Coal, ocher, fire, spear?

Forged through time, forever entwined,
Twins in kind, differing only in method,
Same in soul, a parity in purpose,
Art and engineering.

–