Is there only a tarpaulin covering my local substation? I’ve had about 15 power cuts in the last 2 hours.

Seriously, in a country like England, where we have about 100-150 days of rain a year, surely it’s beyond moronic for the local power circuits to short out every time there’s heavy rainfall? Maybe they ran out of pig fat to smear over the circuit breakers, what with it being a cold winter and all.

I hate to think what it’s done to the lifespan of some of the electronics in the house.

A proper update will have to wait until later, after I’ve played with some self portraits that I took during the dark grimness that ran amock during the power cuts.

I need to spread things out as I have a lot of things happening here on the blog this week… so I’m just going to give you a little teaser of the Will Turner cosplay from tonight. Please note the lengths I went to: the beard is almost perfect! I even adapted one of my sister’s belt as a bandolier…

Wow, have I really just become a cosplayer? Next up, me dressed up as Pokémon…

Today, Tuesday, is the first of a few limited-edition one-off ’specials’. You know, like those episodes of Mythbusters where they go to Siberia, or borrow a bunch of high-grade military weapons. Each of these specials will focus on a particular aspect of I, Sebastian, normally featuring some kind of retarded dressing up.

You see, being a roleplayer and an actor, and having a mother that is also an actor and a massive, charismatic extrovert, I often end up in some pretty ridiculous predicaments. In a tutu, as Tinkerbell, or a fluffy bull-body suit as Nana the Dog. I’ve been cowboys (both gay and straight), a mouse in Cinderella, an extra from Dirty Dancing and, yes, I’ve been a pirate.

Quiet a few times, actually. I like wearing eye-liner, what can I say? Actually, I like the attention I get from girls when I wear eye-liner. I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the occasional camp dress-up (most men would be lying if they said that!) Since Pirates of the Caribbean I’ve had 3 chances to get out the smock and saber and taken advantage of every of them!

My first time… (dressing as a pirate)… was in 2004  just after the first film, back when the world was only talking about two things: ‘Isn’t Johnny Depp dreamy? I didn’t think I could love a camp drunk, but in his case…’ and ‘Cor, Orlando Bloom’s a bit of a girl, but damn… he’s cute.’ In fact, about 90% of all girls had a poster of one or the other on their wall. Not one to squander such potential pulling power, my first attempt at Orlando Bloom as Will Turner:

As you can see, I only managed a rapier that time — not quite the right kind of sword, but it did the job, as you can see from the rampant blonde attack. She was moving so quickly that she actually got in and out of the frame in the time it took the photographer to press the button. Drive-by kissing at its finest. This is also one of the very few photos with me wearing glasses and smiling.

Next, we have a fairly generic pirate. This was around the same time that I discovered eye-liner and started wearing it at every possible opportunity; well, whenever I was home alone, anyway. I wonder to this day if my mother noticed her eye-liner pencil going blunt without her use. Maybe she just kept it quiet, for my sake, and for my father’s blood pressure.

I actually wore my facial hair like that for quite some time — I quite liked it (and The American loved it, but that’s another tearjerker for another Time-Travel Thursday), but turns out I looked a bit old and, er, rapist’ish, so I finally stopped trimming my beard like that last year. I still think it’s pretty sexy though…

Finally, we have the new and improved Will Turner that I sported yesterday evening. I gave you a teaser yesterday, but now I’ll give you the other two photos… with a waistcoat and saber, the real deal! Eye-liner, waistcoat, slicked-back hair AND, most importantly, a big frickin’ phallic saber representing my overwhelmingly potent masculinity.

Christ, I think that’s quite enough photos for one day. I’m feeling all self-conscious now. Don’t tell me I messed up the make-up, please girls… my fragile ego just can’t take it.

Tomorrow, assuming the weather gets better, I should have coverage of Eric’s judicious winner-deciding ceremony. It was meant to be today, but it ended up pissing down; Eric doesn’t like rain, y’see…

After yesterday’s deep-and-meaningful entry I feel it my duty, as your charismatic host, to break the pensive and thoughtful atmosphere. That’s another thing you might’ve noticed: I like to mix things up; I love keeping people on their toes. I revel in blowing the dust off and sparking far-flung reaches of your brain into frantic activity. It’s also about my own personal enjoyment though: variety is the spice of life, right?

And you have to admit, you have no idea what I might do next.

Without further ado, the results of a photo session from a sunny Spring (Summer?!) afternoon!

A pretty good start. Especially the slightly-quirked eyebrow and pursed lips.

I should explain the next strip of photos: I have a friend called Abi and she recently initiated me into the Way Of The X. Where you make an… X… with your fists/hands. It’s cooler than it sounds. Really, try it. Anyway, this is seven quick photos taken in succession, of me doing THE X. If you don’t get it, that’s fine — just marvel at the facial expressions.

That’s a little weird, I admit…

The thing is, I’d be lying if I said if that was my first attempt at capturing THE X. In fact, it took me about half an hour to ‘nail it’. That means there’s a lot of out-takes. Like… 200 of them. Here’s a small sample, just to prove that I am capable of some truly awesome facial expressions (and you ain’t seen nothing yet!)

Julia Roberts has got nothing on my mouth.

Constipation.

Channel the rage, Sebastian. CHANNEL IT.

… Um… some kind of… Jewish Shylock? Or… something? I don’t know.

A rare example of me actually smiling! Well, about to smile. I cracked up at my father, who insisted on crashing my little photo session…

That’s it for now. The next time you see my expressive face, I should be in a doctor’s jacket for Ask Me Anything on Friday — and if you have anything on your mind this week, ask me!

As promised, just before I go to bed (I have to be up at 8am tomorrow! EIGHT!) here’s a ‘pre-Faroes’ self-portrait. Taken on the weak premise that I wanted to see just how hot my ‘layers’ setup actually is. And then, once the camera started clicking and the sun started setting… Well, you can see the result for yourself.

And I am smiling! Just a little smile, but you can’t see it very clearly. A thoughtful smirk.

(Click for full size, it’s worth it, to check out the hair. Can just about make out my dimple too, actually.)

My sister (who cut my hair) said I look like a mod; a little like Rod Stewart in fact. I think I look like Liam Gallagher. Neither of those options are particularly favourable. Let’s see what 17 days of salty wind does to it…

Sporting a Space Invaders t-shirt, a freshly-shaved beard, and a cashmere deerstalker by my wonderful, more-than-slightly-neurotic but highly-talented hat-making friend Minnie.

(I guess this is my very first product endorsement… chrikee…)

Enjoying my new 50mm lens an awful lot. It’s good to be taking portraits again and messing around with only available light (this one’s shot at f/2.2, for the photographers out there — pretty sharp, eh!) There are some other shots that you’ll see from this afternoon — some dorky ones — just I don’t have time to go through them now — I have to go out.

Until tomorrow… and Dushku Day…!

[As always, these photogasms contain a lot of photos. If you can't be bothered with the pesky 'reading thing', just scroll down.]

Continuing in the same vein as last week, here’s another photogasm! This week was helped along by a powercut on Sunday. For three hours. It’s amazing how little you can do when you have no electricity — but it’s also humbling to realise just how much you can do too! (How deep was that…?)

Of course I sat on my laptop for an hour, until the battery ran down. Used my mobile phone to connect to the Internet even! But when the screen finally blinked out to black, I had to do something. It is at times like these that I really love being a photographer: I just grab my camera and go outside. And below… you can find the results of the powercut photo session!

But first, yesterday’s 10 of 52, in which I balance a pumpkin on my face:

Normally I would just link you to the project’s blog but this time… well… you can probably imagine why I want to share it here on the front page of this site.

And with that out of the way — and yes, it really did hurt as much as you think it did — on with the rest of the Photogasm.

Upcoming projects: Still not much. I have some more money coming in from some clients that are finally paying (when is six months ever an OK period to settle invoices…?) — and the tech blogger writing job thingee is going to be more lucrative than I thought (I seem to be quite good at it — who woulda thunk it?) — soooo… I will have money to frame some prints! And hang them in places! And sell some more photos before Christmas! Or failing that, give everyone photos for Christmas!! My actual photographical skill (is that the right term?) is coming along at an alarming rate. It’s almost as if each photo I take is better than the last. Scary. How good will I end up…?!

Ah, yes, and one of the girls I was meant to photograph is proving elusive. More on that later.

And now… the gasm itself:

As always, each photo has some kind of note attached — hover your mouse over each one to find out more! Again, some ‘blog exclusives’. Some will turn up on Flickr, some won’t.

(I love the moss in the foreground in both of those shots)

(Which one do you prefer…?)

And to finish… because, let’s face it, I’m a big, fat narcissist… another self-portrait from my dark dining room — long exposure, but super-steady hands!

Don’t you just love the phone on the wall?

I actually have more self-portraiture to come but two is quite enough for one blog post. Keep an eye out on Flickr for the rest.

(Click for larger… though I can’t imagine why you would want to…)

With this photo I feel like I have jumped the shark.

I guess this might just be the pinnacle of my blogging and self-portraiting career. Everything else I produce, until they day I die, will always be compared to ‘that time Seb flashed his pink boxers and stuck his cock in a doughnut’.

But I’m OK with that. It gives me something to aim towards (other than the center of the doughnut). I will endeavour to top this image in the future! And not simply by wearing skimpier underwear or utilising fancier-looking donuts!

As always, more too-much-information (if you can handle any more, after this…) can be found over on Lilu’s blog.

Dint do it
(Click for larger)

Si! si! Grrrringo, ariba!

This week I’m writing for both of us as Abi’s, er, in trouble with the Feds. We got picked up for listening to awful music from the 80s at max volume down in the projects. We tried to explain how loud music kinda goes with our image but the pigs were having none of it. I guess the crack pipe dangling limply from my lips didn’t help matters.

Then they popped the trunk. I tried in vain to explain the twenty pounds of cheap Mexican meth — and then they found the bound and gagged under-age señorita beneath the mountain of drugs. That kinda sealed the deal.

But why am I here to tell the tale, and Abi still incarcerated? Why am I free to write this while Abi is bruised black and blue and forced to pick up the soap?

Because I’m innocent. I didn’t do it. I shanked one of the cops soon after our mug shots were taken — and legged it.

Better keep running, I can hear some sirens.

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Ta’da & Snow Drama

Seb: Believe it or not, it’s 4:15am in this photo. That’s not dawn either — that’s light from a city about 10 miles away. The colour itself is light pollution I think (though remember, this is long-exposure, so it wasn’t THAT orange, but definitely a bit orange). Look how still I held my arms for 30 seconds! (I’ve had a lot of practice over the years…)

I’ve been waiting all week for the perfect conditions for this photo. I bet you’ve never seen a landscape like this before… and neither have I!

The snow continued after this photo, and we’re currently under about a foot (30cm) of snow. There’s been snow on the ground for two weeks now — the coldest and snowiest winter in history I think, or certainly since I was born. And get this, our heating is broken because oil doesn’t flow well when it’s cold. Wonderful.

* * *

Abi: Whenever I look at this I am forcibly reminded of one of those Greenpeace ads involving a clubbed baby seal. Maybe it is the Panda hat, it gets a fair bit of attention and not in a good way.

Anyway, as you may have gathered, the UK is experiencing conditions which we as a nation are simply not equipped to deal with. Our transatlantic chums must bear in mind that when it snows, or excessively rains, or gets a bit warmer than we were expecting, our entire country grinds to a halt.

We simply don’t get much practice in dealing with any extreme weather and so, when it does happen, we either pretend it is not happening or battle on with the kind of camaraderie last seen during the war years. That’s what we Brits do, we queue and PANIC BUY.

The original concept for this shot did not involve me at all. Put simply, my friend flatly refused to lie in the snow for any length of time which is why I ended up doing it. This project may just kill me yet.

* * *

For smaller versions, but with the addition of usually-hilarious comments on Flickr, click the photos.