Tag: sex

Shannon in full flight, on the Isle of Skye, chasing some sheep

Girls. I wonder if I’ll ever understand them fully. Just when you think you know what’s going on — when you think, after days and weeks of hard graft, that you’re nearing some kind of blissful breakthrough, it all goes to shit and you’re unceremoniously dumped at square one. Sometimes, if you’ve really fucked up, you’ll get shunted back even further, leaving you yearning for square one rather than square -628. After such an experience, while still dazed and confused…

I had my aunt’s funeral on Friday. She died at the age of 40 and made only two stipulations for her funeral: everyone must wear something orange, and anyone wearing pink would not be admitted. I wore an orange feather boa and painted my thumbs orange. I don’t think there are any photos of the boa — and yeah, I got some polish on the cuticle of my left thumb. You should’ve seen my right thumb though! Perfect! It was…

I’ve been told before that my brain and its thought processes work in weird yet wonderful ways. The truth is, I only share a tiny fraction of what actually goes on in this wacky head of mine. Most of it gets contemplated, researched and then filed away, only to be brought up in relevant conversation. But not this time! This time you get the raw, unfiltered stream of consciousness. So, there I was… sitting… as one does. I wasn’t actually…

… and orated dramatically by me. Slash fiction, or ‘slash fan fiction’, is a dark and worrisome genre of literature. If fan fiction wasn’t bad enough — really, who cares what Snape does on his day off? — slash fiction usually involves the destruction of an entire fictional universe for the sole purpose of the writer (and, sadly, the readers) getting their jollies. Harry Potter, being the most successful series of all time, has attracted more than its fair share…

Instructions: Hit the buttons. Order doesn’t really matter, but most phrases are grouped into ‘types’. Also, visit Lilu’s blog for more grossness, after you’ve had a fiddle with my soundboard. Tips: You don’t have to wait for one sound to finish before you start another. Also, you might want to turn your volume down a little… (If you can’t see the Flash soundboard below, you need to visit my blog.) By all means let me know of any particularly nasty/nefarious…

Good day! This week I’m trying something a little different. As one of the most regular and long-term participants in Lilu’s Too Much Information Thursday, I sometimes get the urge to spice things up. We only have so many gross stories to tell about ourselves after all! This week I’ve hacked Formspring.me into showing its questions and answers in the box below. If you can’t see them in your RSS reader, you need to visit my blog. As people ask…