Tag: the penis monologues

I’m sitting here, sipping my tumbler glass full of whiskey — straight, single malt of course — with my feet up on my desk. The laptop is actually in between my legs, which is a rather interesting angle to type from, but it works. If only I had a roaring log fire, the image would be complete; unfortunately I have to make-do with a blow-heater that sounds like its on its last legs, trying to heat up my own little…

I’m sitting here, trying to wiggle my toes. I’m sure they are down there somewhere, I just can’t feel them. It hasn’t been above 2 degrees in 3 days now — the snow is still there. I thought snow was meant to act as an insulator, but it’s frickin’ freezing in my room. I’m wearing a wooly jumper, 2 pairs of socks, slippers and gloves. So, to get away from the cold, it’s now time for something completely different. Sunny…

Hail, comrades! The Russian Monologue: (If you can’t see the player, you’ll have to visit my blog) All of this bleak, cold and snowy thing got me thinking of my friends over in Serbia, Czech Republic and the other Eastern Bloc states. When I was in Serbia a couple of years ago, there was an unseasonable warmth, 20C in October! Then in the last 6 hours of my stay, it dropped to -5C, and the entirity of Belgrade was covered…

For those of you that have been away over the weekend, you can find the latest Penis Monologue on this page: The Irish Priest’s Monologue. I think there will be a total of 5 in the series — although I reserve the right to do some more (or requests…!) at any time!

Without further ado, The Irish Penis Monologue: (If you can’t see the player, you’ll have to visit my blog) Anyone that knows me fairly well (in real life) will probably have realised by now that these monologues are somewhat based on people that I admire, or somehow feel connected to. Today’s monologue, stars an Irish priest. There is really only one Irish priest that really pops into everyone’s head — Father Ted Crilly (or perhaps Dougal, if you’re that way…

… I give you, The Penis Monologues, from Scotland: (If you can’t see the player, you’ll have to visit my blog) Now, please, if you’re Scottish, don’t press stop instantaneously. Hear it out. Wait for my bumbling apology at the end. Judge it on its content rather than its apallingly sprawling accents. It starts off OK, and kind of goes downhill from there. In my defence (I always have a defence), I’ve been doing an Irish accent for quite some…